Stupid/Asinine/Unnecessary/Inappropriate Comments: Post away! - Page 2

[blumom2boyz]

Let's see, this was actually the first pregnancy we planned and when I told my parents (in person), my mom said "really?" and then changed the subject and my dad said "who's pregnant?" and when I said "we are", he rolled his eyes and said "you guys" in that very disapproving tone of voice he gives. Not sure what that was all about...we are GROWN adults. They still haven't told us congratulations. The other comments that are making me nuts are the "wow, 4 kids. You guys are crazy". Thankfully, all my friends are super supportive

[fantesia28]

Well so far everyone that we have told had been super excited with the exception of my SIL. She made a super rude comment saying that my DH agreed to another baby because his other sister had a baby. Hello... we already have two kids, I don't think we need to be in competition with his sister who just had her first baby AND lives clear accross the US!! Then she says... why would you bring another baby into the world when you don't have time for your family now (she says to her brother, my DH). This comment was because he doesn't go overboard in calling his sisters, etc. He's like I do have time for my immediate family, it's you that i don't have time for. LOL! I wonder why he doesn't go out of his way to call her?? Imagine that!!

I do think some people though we just had an accident. My DH has been like, nope... she hasn't been on BC for 8 years, we tried twice and this was totally planned. LOL! I am sure some will talk behind our backs about the spacing of our kids (8 years between each of them), but nobody besides SIL has been rude and everyone seems genuinely happy for us!

[WeasleyMum]

I've had some really bad comments about being pregnant again after so many miscarriages, basically along the lines of, "I can't believe you guys are still trying/ trying again after all that" or, "Why don't you "just" adopt?"

Hello, if we're willing to keep trying it's nobody else's business that I can see.

[fantesia28]

Originally Posted by WeasleyMum

I've had some really bad comments about being pregnant again after so many miscarriages, basically along the lines of, "I can't believe you guys are still trying/ trying again after all that" or, "Why don't you "just" adopt?"

That is SOOO insensitive!! It's your life and if you want to continue trying that is YOUR business! I can't believe that people would think it would be even remotely appropriate to say that to you! I mean hello... don't they realize how hard it's probably been for you and how worried you probably already are? : Hugs!!

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

WeasleyMum: I've gotten all sorts of fun stuff like that. We were planning on adopting (DH isn't ready), and when I started talking about that I got a lot of "Oh, good, cuz now you'll get pregnant!" and "I know this one couple who were infertile for years, and then as soon as they decided to adopt they got pregnant and have a beautiful 1 year old now!"

Then it came out we weren't adopting. Thankfully, no more "why don't you just adopt?" Instead I got "I think your body needs a break. Maybe it's telling you something?" (This is at least my 4th pregnancy) or "Why don't you just relax?" Heck, my next door neighbor, as soon as we got back from our vacation asked if I was pregnant because "well, it tends to happen on vacations."

For the record, I got pregnant 4 days AFTER my vacation, we were VERY actively trying (not relaxing), had stopped all adoption plans, and coincidentally it was the first month I was on a full dose of metformin. In short, everyone was wrong

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

I'm also really annoyed at the idea that adoption is easy, because it's not. It takes years, potentially lots of heartbreak, and is a whole other ball of wax.

[lil_miss_understood]

Originally Posted by musiclady

We announced the news at church today. The best one I got was, "Were you surprised?" and I said, "Not at all! We were trying!" So she said, "I'm not going to ask you how many times you practiced." I think she was trying to be funny, so I just didn't hold back..... and I said, "Well, we tried for two months, but we're going to keep practicing just to be sure we still remember."

That shut her up.

That's pretty funny since DH's quiet way of telling me wants to dtd is "Let's go practice".

[Kwgrlup]

My last homebirth ended in a section, so I am getting a lot of people making sure this one will be at the hospital. I know they are asking becasue they care, and want me and the baby to be OK. The comments, while they an be annoying at times, 99% of the time asked from people who truly care and want what is best for us.... I am not annoyed by them.

[WeasleyMum]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam

I'm also really annoyed at the idea that adoption is easy, because it's not. It takes years, potentially lots of heartbreak, and is a whole other ball of wax.

I know. It seems to me to be a lot harder-- the cost, the scrutiny, everything. Plus, adoption is not neccessarily the 'plan B', it's not exactly the same thing. The way people talk about it, going with adoption "instead" is like getting the beef option instead of chicken or something-- an easy switch. Of course none of these are people who have actually adopted, themselves.

[channelofpeace]

I got my first rude one last week. I was at the park, talking with a friend about my pregnancy and an acquaintance of hers overheard us talking. I was pointing out which ones where mine and when I pointed out three, she said, "Wow, this is number 4?" in a kind of shocked/disgusted voice. I told her that hubby is 1 of 5 and I am 1 of 4 and we have always wanted a family about that size. With a grimace she said, "Well, I am the oldest of four and I would never do that" Um, ok?

Haven't told our families yet. To number 1, my dad said, "So soon?" (we had been married a month before we got pg, and yes, we were trying)
To number three, he shook his head and said, "Oh, Erin"

I think the in-laws will be happy though

[NewMama2007]

Originally Posted by Critty

I have had some VERY interesting responses when people have found out we have a surrogate. Such lovely, tactful questions as:

1. How much does that cost?
2. Aren't you afraid she is going to keep the baby?
3. Did your husband have to have sex with her?
4. Well AT LEAST your husband will be related to the baby.
5. Is the baby going to be yours?
6. I don't know if I like the sounds of this ...

All of which were greeted with an incredulous stare and a "Why would you ask/say that?". Ahhhh good times!

I love your response! And LMAO that people would actually think your dh would have sex with her!

[sonuptosondown]

Subbing to this thread--I like the funny responses you guys posted, but I'm trying not to let the assinine ones get my heartrate up, though!!

Originally Posted by mama2j&t

This week I told someone at my son's preschool... since my belly is starting to look big enough that people are going to start to wonder.... and I got "wow you're going to have 4 kids" the 4 was said with raised eyebrows and the sort of emphasis that could be construed as disapproval.

Originally Posted by blumom2boyz

Let's see, this was actually the first pregnancy we planned and when I told my parents (in person), my mom said "really?" and then changed the subject and my dad said "who's pregnant?" and when I said "we are", he rolled his eyes and said "you guys" in that very disapproving tone of voice he gives. Not sure what that was all about...we are GROWN adults. They still haven't told us congratulations. The other comments that are making me nuts are the "wow, 4 kids. You guys are crazy". Thankfully, all my friends are super supportive

This will hopefully be our 4th as well and we haven't told anyone at all yet. I've never worried about negative comments from our families with previous pregnancies--not one bit, they were always supportive--but I have a feeling they'll all think we have all we can handle right now, what with homeschooling and our oldest being special needs (Asperger's). And, really, there are many many times I'm thinking the same thing, so until I can find peace with it I probably shouldn't try to handle comments! (This was a planned pregnancy, I'm just feeling some shock now that it's real. 4 is a lot of kids--I'm scared!)

But I have to wear big sweatshirts because I really look pg. I mean really--I look the same as when I was 6 months pg with our first. But we don't see our parents all the time since we live about 1.75 hours away. We'll see everyone at Thanksgiving when I'll be almost 13 weeks :and then we'll tell everyone!! I hope it goes well! This was a lot of rambling...

[Critty]

Originally Posted by TrishWSU

= I get the reverse of that: "Oh, don't you make A LOT of money for that?" and then throw out some incredibly ridiculous amount (like $100,000!)

Hopefully you won't get the incredibly rude and totally thoughtless comment my last IM got of "Well, why don't you just have a baby yourself?" Grrr, are people really that insensitive?

Oh yes, everyone knows the first track to extreme wealth is to get pregnant for someone else

I did have someone ask "Why didn't you just have a baby yourself ?" so I said, "Well I have a 30% chance of mortality if I get pregnant" and they said "What is mortality?", so I just replied "I just don't want to get fat". That shut them up, because I have about 40 pounds of prednisone weight on me!

Now that people know M, our surro, I get all sorts of questions as she is a different race that we are. I have to explain that it is our bun, in her oven. But I get comments like "so will the baby be a little bit black?". I assume many, many people skipped the genetics section in high school biology!

I have also had they "why don't you just adopt?", like adoption is easy and also sub-standard. Ugh. We have been trying to adopt for 2 years! Ugh, people!

[TrishWSU]

Originally Posted by Critty

"why don't you just adopt?"!

Oh that comment annoys me to no end! Like you can just swing by the local orphanage on your way home and pick up a kid like you would a gallon of milk!

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Critty, can I ask why you have the 30% mortality?

[happyhippimama]

" WOW, you are a MACHINE!! You just keep having babies. Are you gonna get FIXED?!"

Now, tell me, how could those words actually come out of a persons mouth! I am sick of making excuses for why my family gets pregnant and has a baby. It makes me stressed and sad.

[sonuptosondown]

Originally Posted by Critty

Now that people know M, our surro, I get all sorts of questions as she is a different race that we are. I have to explain that it is our bun, in her oven. But I get comments like "so will the baby be a little bit black?". I assume many, many people skipped the genetics section in high school biology!

Oh my....

[Critty]

Originally Posted by sunflwrmoonbeam

Critty, can I ask why you have the 30% mortality?

Part of my autoimmune issues is I go into anaphylactic shock when my hormones go screwy, so I have to stay on the BCP all the time. In pregnancy and especially labour, your hormones are so wacky that there is an almost 100% chance I will shock, and a 30% chance they won't be able to get me out of it. 1 in 3 are not really odds we are willing to consider!

[musiclady]

Originally Posted by happyhippimama

" WOW, you are a MACHINE!! You just keep having babies. Are you gonna get FIXED?!"

Now, tell me, how could those words actually come out of a persons mouth! I am sick of making excuses for why my family gets pregnant and has a baby. It makes me stressed and sad.

uhhhhhhhh...... are you broken?

[sunflwrmoonbeam]

Yikes Critty! I'm glad you found a surrogate!