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Stupid/Asinine/Unnecessary/Inappropriate Comments: Post away! - Page 3

post #41 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by musiclady View Post
uhhhhhhhh...... are you broken?
Yeah, I felt really weird when I got this response. And he laughed and laughed. It was my ex-husband. e get along pretty well. Kinda like old friends. But that comment was rude. I am sure he did not think anything of it though. Why are people so thought-less. As if they do not think first.

Like the comment about the "will the baby have a little black in it?" Surely that person did not think first.
post #42 of 279
Yes, and how insanely stupid..... Geez- your bun, her oven... That's the best response I could think of.

Well, at least after you get over being so irritated, you can laugh at how dumb people really can be sometimes.

I got one today---

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" [deleted comment that had to be edited- just another time my sense of humor gets me in trouble.] If I had wanted everyone to know before I could have told them, I would certainly have shared with you immediately.

I just didn't even answer that question and just kept on with the conversation. Said something vague about- most people don't tell for a long time, so we decided to keep it to ourselves for a while. Which was only partly true.....

I have a problem in that I'm by nature a sarcastic person. And so is my husband. Luckily, we use our super powers to fight evil, and not to inflict harm upon each other. But I tell you, sometimes we just laugh and laugh.
post #43 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by musiclady View Post
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"ummm, cause I was afraid of a stupid reaction like this!!!"

Something somehow shifted in the last several years where asking inappropriate or personal questions suddenly became OK.
post #44 of 279
I'm due at the end of May, so I'm going between May and June due date clubs. I couldn't resist getting in on this one.

Because I was on the pill when I got pregnant and we really were not planning on having any more children, here are some of the comments I've received:

-My brother asked if I sabotoged my birth control on purpose. I told him that would be the same as sabotaging my marriage on purpose.

-Someone at my children's school asked me if I had considered having an abortion because that's what she would do.

Those are the two worst, but I've gotten others. It's really amazing the lack of tact that some folks have.
post #45 of 279
Manessa! I remember meeting you at the Utah Friends of Midwives meeting. I was the nanny (but I guess not for long!). I HATE when people act like tons of women go out and purposefully get pregnant just because they want to or without regard for their partner or whatever. What's wrong with people?
post #46 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by notyetamommy View Post
Manessa! I remember meeting you at the Utah Friends of Midwives meeting. I was the nanny (but I guess not for long!). I HATE when people act like tons of women go out and purposefully get pregnant just because they want to or without regard for their partner or whatever. What's wrong with people?
My first was the result of a bc failure also. I had decided a week before I found out that I didn't really want to be with his father, but people still insisted that since I was pregnant and chose not to have an abortion, I was *obviously* just trying to keep him in my life and purposely making his life miserable and got *many* comments to that same effect. My *doctor* said to me "I really think you should have an abortion, but since you've decided you have to have your claws in this guy, I'll give you the name of an OB."
FTR, I decided after finding out I was pregnant to *try* to stay together with his father. Let's just say that didn't work out and, in hindsight, I wish I'd kicked him to the curb sooner. Maybe things would've been more amicable between us.
post #47 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by Manessa View Post

-Someone at my children's school asked me if I had considered having an abortion because that's what she would do.
I am completely floored that someone would say that! It really is shocking. What did you say in response?

We are in between May and June as well
post #48 of 279
My MIL asked us if we knew how babies are made. (this is our third, the first two totally planned, she made the same comment with our second, too) And then made *jokes* for an entire weekend about us being too dumb to understand the rhythm method and maybe we shouldn't do that anymore, and then suggested that I wean my one year old right away. She is not new. I did not wean my one year old when I got pregnant last time, but perhaps she wasn't paying attention. Oh and she said maybe my husband might want to get the snip-snip now. Being that she is totally conventional- circumcising boys etc. I was more than a little disturbed by this comment.

All I could do was grit my teeth and try not to unleash the wave of mean, cranky, no sleep gettin, woman you are in MY house and on my very last nerve that my three year old has not stomped on hormones on her. But oh, I wanted to. REALLY. BAD.

My step mom asked me about what kind of birth control we were using... As if I am not a grown *ss woman, in my thirties who managed to not be pregnant for three years with my husband before we started having children. My father has yet to call to say congrats. Or anything for that matter.

And my mother said, "You are not Seriously considering having ANOTHER baby are you?" (Again. The hormones. Hear me roar)

Both of our families have been fired. I am extremely thankful for my women friends, that is all I can say. At least they have all had the good graces to celebrate this baby with us.
post #49 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by wrenmoon View Post
My MIL asked us if we knew how babies are made.
You could probably have some really good answers for this that would make her squirm... Go into details... positioning and all that.

Sorry you're having to deal with such horrid people. We'll all be happy for your pregnancy! :
post #50 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by wrenmoon View Post
As if I am not a grown *ss woman, in my thirties who managed to not be pregnant for three years with my husband before we started having children. My father has yet to call to say congrats. Or anything for that matter.

And my mother said, "You are not Seriously considering having ANOTHER baby are you?" (Again. The hormones. Hear me roar)

Both of our families have been fired. I am extremely thankful for my women friends, that is all I can say. At least they have all had the good graces to celebrate this baby with us.
I get the treatment that i am a child also. I even feel guilty for being pregnant right now. : I hate it. I should not be. RIGHT??

I am waiting for the comments about having so many kids.

And I would not be able to handle this without my mama friends. Mostly online friends really. Not too many IRL friends.
post #51 of 279
Well I've been getting the word out and amazingly enough, my family has been supportive. Only my SIL said something kind of negative...she said "wow...I don't know what to say." Not excited...just dry and pissy sounding.

How about COGRATS???

My mom was actually pretty supportive, she just said she worried about me because I have hard pregnancies (which isn't really true but I am prone to problems towards the end.)

My sisters are really excited.

I haven't told many friends IRL, I'm waiting to see heartbeat,etc. Though I'll probably be showing by then LOL.
post #52 of 279
I have a new one. One of dh's soccer buddies pointed out that I was starting to show 'cause I was really "filling out" my shirt. While making hand motions that made it clear he was referring to my chest. He was kind enough to point out that women look really good when they fill out in "that way" Um... Thanks?
post #53 of 279
Carlin- I'm My dh seems to think that everyone will notice my chest increase and I don't think anyone will. He's like "How can they not!?"
post #54 of 279
Thread Starter 
Carlin, next time that happens, don't miss a beat and say, "Yeah, your balls are swinging pretty low there yourself. I almost mistook one for a soccer ball and kicked one!" Then give a sweet smile.

Yeah, who's been drinking that Hatorade today??? hahahha
post #55 of 279
Thread Starter 
I've got a new one courtesy of my MIL. She is a very tiny super southern lady who plays tennis 4x a week and "lunches" (as a verb). She is very, very image conscious. I am not. She comments every time I see her now about my weight, as if pregnancy is an excuse to say things. She will literally look me up and down and say, "well it doesn't look like you've gained a pound!" gleefully.

I really cannot tell if she is just trying to sympathize/relate and this is her way of doing so, but she'd better cut it out! I'm choosing to try to think the best of her though. I figured that will make life easier always. It baffles her when I tell her that I had no idea how much I weighed to begin with!!

Then my mother is now convinced that I will kill my child if I have it in a birth center, and that if the baby is a boy, that it will be a freak if we don't circ. I'm trying so hard not to get defensive or preachy, and remain kind, but I just finally told her that she needed to go on a tour of the birth center and I would be happy to go along with her, and that she should bring a list of questions of all her concerns to the tour. I thought that was proactive without having to pull the "this is my baby and we are doing what we want so you can shut your mouth" option.
post #56 of 279
notyetamommy; My oblivious DH hasn't even noticed MINE! How he can ignore a 2 cup size increase (dear gods I'm a 38G now) I have no idea!

pearl: you are far kinder than I. Personally, if I get comments along those lines I go for the TMI response. "Yeah, MIL, I haven't gained a pound because I've be barfing up everything I eat for a month," which would probably cue another barfing fit. Then again, I'm a meanie
post #57 of 279
Quote:
Originally Posted by notyetamommy View Post
Carlin- I'm My dh seems to think that everyone will notice my chest increase and I don't think anyone will. He's like "How can they not!?"
My h would never say anything, but he's called many of our friend's pg before they announced based on this alone.
post #58 of 279
Lots of "Ah ha, trying again for a girl". That one fumes me. Honeslty, I lean towards wantign another boy, why do people assume I'm less that satisfied with having a boy???

My eye doctor said "Now, you know how you keep getting pregnant don't you?" He was trying to be funny, but creeped me out a bit. (and he said it infront of my 4yo, thanks, I love reviewing that topic with ds constantly)

Lots of "oh well, it's early" when we announced the pregnancy at 5 weeks. Like people think that because you're in early pregnancy, you are somehow less pregnant that someone past 12 weeks.
post #59 of 279
Today from one of the women I nanny for, I got
"OH! You're looking pregnant!"
I was sitting with L on my lap and I thought she was talking about my fat rolls. "Um, no, just fat. Not sucking in right now."
"Oh, that's just being pregnant (gaining weight). But I mean your face."
me- blank stare
"Well, like my face got..." holding her hands next to her face with cheeks full of air to mean her face exploded?
me- blank stare and I think I was making a face that said "Are you serious? what's wrong with you?"
her- looking away and changing the subject

Really, you have to tell me my face looks fat? Thanks, that's just the pick-me-up I needed today. And coming from all 110 pounds of you, that means so much to me. Ugh, why do people feel the need to comment on your weight??? How is that appropriate?
post #60 of 279
Oh, and every time dh or I talk about the pregnancy to people they always say something like "Oh, just wait until you find out the sex" or "It'll be so much fun when you find out what you're having." We reply that we won't be finding out and are ALWAYS met with "WHAT?!? You HAVE to find out! How can you not find out? What about being prepared? It'll make it so much easier for people giving you stuff! Just wait, it's too hard to not find out at the u/s" (we aren't telling people we aren't even getting an ultrasound)

I then often tell people that my sister is due a few weeks ahead of me and she's not finding out either, so it'll be fun for it to be two surprises. They find out she has one boy and one girl and then they say "Oh, well, it doesn't matter what they have, they already have one of each." Guess what, it doesn't matter what I have either. And she doesn't even have all her baby stuff, our other sister on the other side of the country does.
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