Thanks you guys. Sorry for the freak-out. I'm thinking that hormones + fever = bad combination. I'm still worried as heck, mainly because my symptoms have let up considerably, I think. Or at least, they're so masked by being sick that it's hard to tell. I felt really positive on Thursday because I threw up (yes I'm still in that yay!-morning-sickness! phase) for the first time in awhile, but when it became apparent on Friday that I was ill, I realized it was probably the beginning of that, instead. So all the nausea, the constant bad taste in my mouth, and etc I can no longer attribute to pregnancy. I have my 12-week ultrasound (the fancy one) on Wednesday, and I'm so freaked out about it that I'm losing sleep. I'm so afraid that they'll look in there and the baby will be dead... I can't lose another one, I just can't. And all of my others were earlier (well I miscarried one at exactly 12 weeks but the embryo had died awhile prior) so I'm freaked about miscarrying this late... I had decided before this pregnancy that if I was ever offered the choice between another natural m/c and a d&c I'd go for the surgery because the last miscarriage sort of went "wrong" and was very bad. (I thought after three I'd seen it all but I guess they're kind of like births: every one is different.) And I'm scared of that, too. And I've already built myself up, I've been fantasizing about telling my family on Thanksgiving that not only were we pregnant again but that we were second-trimester-pregnant for the first time ever! I've been keeping it a secret because they worry about me so much. And about updating my blog, where I've been keeping this a secret, with ultrasound pictures, and even (evil) fantasies about telling my boss at work, since another coworker is pregnant too about six weeks ahead of me-- two preggo associates out of only 9 total, it'll be a nightmare (for her).
I think I'm freaking out because I started out so calm and blase-- my mantra was, this is more likely to be miscarriage # 5 than baby # 1-- but it's getting so serious, everything has been going so much better than it ever did before, that it wore down my protective barrier and I'm all in, I can't help it.