mama's,do any of you have a child in a alternative school because of emotional issues?

[oldermamato5]

I'm not sure where to put this thread but I need help. My son is 9.5 and cannot cope in a regular public school system. In first grade he cried every morning for over two months so we pulled him out. He has been home with me since. He has emotional issues that have not been diagnosed per say but he has been under the care of our osteopath who performs cranial sacral and accupuncture on him. He has also taken chinese herbs for depression. Our osteo is chinese.
I want him to go to school but do not want to force him into a system that he is miserable in. Our school system here is good;small and seemingly healthy but very strict and high standards. He cannot cope with alot of paperwork,writing,etc. I am traditionally a homeschooling mama. (I have a 16 yr. old son who has never been in school) My 9.5 yr. old however has different needs and I think he may do better in a more loosely structured environment but still school. Am I making any sense? He is difficult EVERY SINGLE DAY in one way or another.
I'm wondering if I should go talk to the school counselor where he would be going if he were in regular public school and just talk with her.
I'm very concerned about him.

[MamaMonica]

Does your school district have a parent-parnership program for homeschoolers? This might work. It's a gray area between school and homeschool. This is what I'm doing now with my kids and it's working out better for my ds than either homeschooling or public school did.

[alegna]

I work with a private alternative school and many of the kids are there for emotional issues at least in part.

good luck in your search for the right place for him.

-Angela

[oldermamato5]

I will have to ask about that MamaMonica,thank you for your reply.
Angela you made a lump in my throat with your hug. Thank you.

[oldermamato5]

bump

[alegna]

I think your best bet is to investigate what's available in your area. Are there any special schools? Magnet schools? Charter schools? Are private schools an option? Are there any?

Honestly this is legwork best done on your own most of the time.

good luck!

-Angela

[Momily]

Kim,

What do you mean by an alternative school? Are you thinking of a school specifically for children who have struggled in mainstream settings? Or a special education school for children with diagnosed disabilities? Or just a school that is not your local public school such as a private, charter, or magnet school?

I've taught in programs that fit the 2nd criteria. The ones I worked in were wonderful, gentle places, where kids could get the structure they needed in a small group size with lots of integrated therapies.

I also send my DS to a school that's in the 3rd category -- it's a small "crunchy granola" charter school with lots of hands on learning, good special ed support, and a well thought out social curriculum. It's a wonderful place, and a much better fit socially and academically for my particular child than the local public school where he went to Kindergarten.

Basically what I believe is that you need to find the right school for each kid -- contacting the school counselor is a good idea, looking at programs is a good idea too. When you do so, try and find a child who seems similar to your own and watch them to see what their experience is like -- how they're talked to, how engaged they are in the learning, what happens when they aren't being successful.

Good luck!

[oldermamato5]

Momily I believe a school for children who can't assimilate into a regular public school due to emotional problems is what we need. Ds seems to be an average student in academic areas. He is certainly below grade level but grades are not my focus,his emotional happiness is. I truly believe he would be happier with other children and a somewhat structured school environment. Being at home with me all day is not the answer. We certainly cannot afford a private school. I will contact the local school counselor and see if she can help me.
I appreciate your help mama's

[alegna]

The local school counselor will most likely try to convince you to send him to your regular school... IME

-Angela

[beanma]

Originally Posted by oldermamato5

We certainly cannot afford a private school.

There are often scholarships and tuition assistance programs at private schools. I would really look into one of these if the kinds of emotional issues he has are more inward directed. If he's acting out against his peers (non-sibs) I would consider looking more to one of the public alternatives, but my fear is that there are likely to be many other kids there who are inclined to act out against their classmates. I'm sure the teachers do their best, but I think there are a lot of kids there who have been sent there because the public schools can't deal with their disruptive and aggressive behavior. It would definitely not be my first choice for a child who is experiencing a lot of separation anxiety, etc. for example.

My dd1 has some anxiety issues and we've found a really good fit in a small crunchy private independent school.

If he is explosive and you're considering putting him in public school I would get him evaluated and try to get an IEP for him and then they will have to accommodate his special needs.

[oldermamato5]

thank you beanma. He is not aggressive though definitely has an explosive temper when things don't go his way. He cries and screams,sometimes will throw a toy very hard onto the floor but so far hasn't been aggressive towards people. Maybe that is to come?
I never knew that scholarships were available for private schools. We absolutely cannot afford any type of tuition though.

[Momily]

Kim,

The reason why I asked is because in my area "alternative" school means something specific -- it means a place where children who have been expelled or placed on long term suspension are educated until they're back in their home school. Some are great, some aren't, but they aren't really designed to be long term placements.

If I were you I'd approach the school about convening an MDT (multi-disciplinary team) to look at your child's records, plan some evaluations, and eventually make a plan for serving him. Having said that there's a good chance that unless he has a diagnosis that is particularly impressive on paper they'll want him to try a public school general education classroom. Frankly, if you can get a good teacher in a good school that might be an OK place to start. As a special ed teacher I'm often suprised at how poorly we (parents, teachers, therapists) are able to predict how kids will do in a school setting. I've had parents who were convinced that the placement would be a disaster, and it turned out that the structure of school was a great fit. I've had parents whose kids had mild problems at home, and who had disasterous experiences in public school. If you're going to try public school general ed, though, it probably makes sense to have an IEP already written if he qualifies so that if you need to make a change you can do so relatively quickly.