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Midwife Meeting

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
Well, the more I read about hospital births the more I fear one. Had we had a singleton I would have no issues with a home birth. When we found out we were expecting twins, I honestly thought until about 15 weeks gestation (as morbid as it sounds) there is no way both babies will live. It just seemed all to unreal. Well, it's real now. Both babies are doing fantastic!

As I continue to read more about how invasive things can get at a hospital with twin labors/births I think there is no way I can have an unmedicated birth in one.

The babies are both doing well, so am I so at this point there is no reason to expect complications. Although I do realize how very early it is in my pregnancy (21 weeks 2 days) and how quickly things can change. But I'm a glass half-full sort of gal and I'm not going to expect the worst.

I'm going to continue to see my OB and if something should go wrong and I need to deliver early I'll be all set to deliver at a hospital and have established my care with an OB there.

But Wednesday I meet with a midwife for the first time. I'm so excited and relieved!


I plan to ask her how many twin home births she's attended. Any other specific questions that should be asked of her specific to a twin birth?

Any support would be greatly appreciated. I know my plans won't go over well with my family. But my husband (having done some reading himself) is now totally on board too!
post #2 of 32
A friend of mine just managed to have an unmedicated vaginal twin birth recently-- and that was with baby B being breech (they turned her after baby A came out). So, it is possible. But, yes, it's definitely harder! At my hospital, for instance, I think we get shunted into the more surgical rooms even for vaginal births with twins, which is frustrating. Good luck with the midwife interview!
post #3 of 32
Yes, good luck with the midwife interview! I'm jealous, I wish we could afford a midwife (most are still underground and not covered by insurance yet). We're stuck with a hospital birth, and I'm really bummed about it. I try to be a glass half full kind of person, but I can't help but fear that this birth is going to be one fight after another. I've already had the soon-to-be-new partner tell me that she prefers to only do vaginal births if both babies are head down. I'm going to discuss it with the regular Dr next week and if she feels strongly the same way, I may have to start searching for another dr.
post #4 of 32
Ask what her protocols are for homebirth of twins. Are there anything that she feels she must do? And ask who she will be bringing with her to assist. Some midwives bring a whole team if they know it'll be twins and others will bring one apprentice. Depends on how many people you're comfortable with. Definitely find out her experience with twins and with breech.
post #5 of 32
I second finding out about her stance on breech - not just for baby B but for baby A too (if you're open to vaginal birth with baby A, that is). Does she mind if baby B isn't born soon after baby A? If he's not coming quickly, would she be trying to urge things along or just let you go with it, etc. I think really your questions will have so much to do with *you're* ideal birth plan - how would you most like your provider to be? Feel her out based on those criteria. For me it was a mw who would literally wait in another room unless called and wouldn't touch me or the babies w/o express permission. I was lucky enough to find that. But I know that's not everyone's cup of tea so it's kind of hard to say exactly what to ask. Congratulations on your decision!
post #6 of 32
I can really appreciate where you are at in trying to find the right place to birth, and yet feel like you are taking the twin card seriously. We started w/a MW, and were soooo happy and excited, wanting to birth at their birth center in their lovely tubs, after DD1 was born early and in a hospital (was planned as a HB). Then we found out it was twins, and the rollercoaster ride began. I credit our MW with helping us find a perinatologist who thought outside of the box, and to provide us with information and counter information as we then had dual care.
It was in the last couple of weeks that Baby A went transverse, and I was trying to figure out what to do. Our MWs were so supportive of us, and were willing to attend the hospital birth if we wanted. I went and toured another hospital where I would have a little more freedom in laboring, but then I saw the OR, and thought, "Are you kidding me? I have to get UP on that table to birth?????" In the end, Baby A went back to head down and the morning of my girls' births, I knew that home was the safest place for me and my babies to be. It was just an intuitive thing. It may sound crazy, but I knew that nothing would go wrong for us, and it was the sweetest, most peaceful birth. (don't worry, I did scream a couple times--it's still incredibly intense!)
Anyways, I wish you the best with your care and the birth as well. There was someone on this board who really hit it home for me. She was responding to a comment by someone who was saying it was irresponsible to HB twins, and she said something like, "well we must be fly by the seat of our pants parents, then" (or something like that). When in fact I had really seen through her posts what an intelligent, thoughtful mama she seemed to be.
post #7 of 32
Thread Starter 
Thanks ladies for all the suggestions on questions to ask. And thanks for the support on this. Honestly, I feel safer at home than I think I would at a hospital (if all is normal and I make it to 37 weeks).

What is amazing to me is the turn around in my husband. Now that he's been reading up. I think he too thinks it is safer to be at home.

My only concern (which I will discuss with the midwife) is that if something should go wrong, we are not close to a good hospital. The local hospital is a joke! The next closest hospital is AWESOME, Level III NICU, top of the line children's hospital. But it is 45 -55 mins away.

I know of another lady who just gave birth (3 days ago) to her twins at 34 weeks at that particular hospital. She wanted an all natural birth, but they made her put in an epi "just in case". Well she ended up using it and they had to delivery the second baby with forceps. :
post #8 of 32
I had a homebirth with my twins it was fabulous. I would also ask how many weeks you would have to reach before s/he'd come to your birth, and what the protocol is for postpartum haemorrhage. Oh and how many PP visits she does.
post #9 of 32
When I first started reading your post, I thought someone had quoted my birth story for some reason. You are right where I was one year ago, in seemly every aspect, from the optimism and intuition, even to the morbidity.

Here's my birth story:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=925854

Here's some photos of the birth and my babes:
http://web.mac.com/williamisnow/iWeb/Site/Welcome.html

Also be sure to check out:
http://www.lookydaddy.com/weblog/200..._that_mos.html
(a blog entry on successful twin pregnancies, recommended for all expectant MOMs)

I also kept with my OBs until about 37 weeks. Be skeptical of their agreement to "consider" vaginal birth (natural birth seems like a dirty phrase to them) or to "let you try" labor. Most hospitals have protocols, requiring an epi catheter to be put in, etc., and most OB will induce you if you get to 37 weeks. The chances of getting the birth you want are very small, and will involve a lot of fighting. Not how you want to start life with the twins.

If you have a hospital close should a time-sensitive emergency arise, that's helpful. But if you do need to transfer, I'd guess that the further hospital will be alright. First time labor takes a good long while.

I still remember meeting my MW for the first time! Very exciting!

There are a few questions I didn't ask, and they nearly cost us our homebirth. My MW didn't have the equipment I needed, and we misunderstood each other in problematic ways as you can see in my story. I was really lucky; if my MW hadn't had to leave halfway through my labor, I won't have ended up birthing at home. Turned out her backup was a much better MW.

Fortunately neither MW had deadlines - none for laboring, for time between babies' births, for time after my water broke, etc. Those are things to ask about, as PP mentioned. Ask too about transfers - what were the reasons her clients transferred to hospitals, and in what situations she would recommend it, and how often it happened. But most of all, PLEASE make sure she has an IV and oxygen. The oxygen was not really necessary for me, I would have been fine without it, but I'd guess it comes in handy sometimes. But I did NEED an IV, which I would have never guessed and my first MW didn't have.

Try to ask as lots of questions, and generally do what you can to get a sense of her. Web surf a little. You might find some folks on this blog who have birthed with her.

And if you're anywhere near central PA, PM me. I'd love to recommend the MW who eventually birthed my twins. She has loads of twin homebirth experience with the Amish and is amazing!

You're up for a great journey, hope it all continues to go well. Write back with updates and any questions!
post #10 of 32
you are doing exactly what i wish i had done. continuing care with my cnms with ob shadow care is one of my biggest regrets. i had always pictured i'd have a hb, but when i found out i was carrying twins, i assumed it couldn't or shouldn't be done. how wrong i was.

so you have my full support!!

the others have already pretty much covered your concerns, i think. the only thing i would add is be careful who you share your intentions with. if you are not ready for dealing with the negativity or worries of family/friends, don't tell them. they don't need to know. it can be hard enough steeling yourself against the worries the OB will inevitably (or most likely) put in your head, you don't want to have to do it with people you love as well.

im so happy for you. really, this is going to be wonderful. congrats.
post #11 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by titania8 View Post
ythe only thing i would add is be careful who you share your intentions with. if you are not ready for dealing with the negativity or worries of family/friends, don't tell them. they don't need to know.
:

Are you planning to tell your OB/ask her/him to be a back-up in case it's needed, but that you are going for a HB? Or will you keep your mouth shut with your OB? I'm just curious b/c I know many OBs will not be a back-up for a home birth, which adds another dimension of stress.

We were blessed to find an OB who was our back-up and supportive of HB plans while willing to meet us at the hospital if needed (and we ended up needing his assistance).

Hope the meeting goes well w/the midwife!! :
post #12 of 32
Thread Starter 
I'm not telling my OB anything. I figure it doesn't effect her. If I need her it will be because I can't have a home birth. So I'll go with the status quo with her and when I get to 37 weeks (and all is still well with the babies) I figure I'll just have my home birth.

As far as telling anyone else, I don't know how much we will share. My Dh is on board and that's most important to me and really all the support I need. I guess we'll probably just not say much to anyone till it's done.

Thanks for the support ladies. I appreciate it so much. I guess old habits die hard and I'm having to get used to the idea of not feeling like I'm putting myself ahead of the babies, even though, I'm doing this (home birth) more for them than for myself. I'm scared for them in the hospital!
post #13 of 32
Deanna, I totally understand that. I birthed my twins at home unassisted. I wanted them birthed at home more for them then for me. If I were at the hospital, it most likely would've been a C-section or a HUGE fight for a vaginal birth. I didn't want unnecessary interventions that can come from either way of birthing. As a result, my babies were with me the whole time, not even suctioned. It would've been way different and more traumatic for them. They are such peaceful babies!
post #14 of 32
How did it go?
post #15 of 32
Thread Starter 
It's tomorrow late afternoon. I can't wait!
post #16 of 32
Thread Starter 
Well I met with the midwife yesterday afternoon. : Not what I was hoping for. I didn't click with her I guess. But I wasn't confident in her abilities either. I'm also, not sure about our home being an ideal location to deliver as our local hospital is SO TERRIBLE in case of emergency. Also, she's never done a twin home birth (only assisted when she was an apprentice in the late '80's)

So it's back to the drawing board for us. I did blog about it and give specifics on why she's not the one in case anyone is interested.

At this point it looks like being a "uncooperative, bad patient" at the good hospital, maybe the best choice. More research to be done!

Thanks for the support. I'll keep you posted on things as we make decisions or learn more!
post #17 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by DeannaK View Post
Well I met with the midwife yesterday afternoon. : Not what I was hoping for. I didn't click with her I guess. But I wasn't confident in her abilities either. I'm also, not sure about our home being an ideal location to deliver as our local hospital is SO TERRIBLE in case of emergency. Also, she's never done a twin home birth (only assisted when she was an apprentice in the late '80's)

So it's back to the drawing board for us. I did blog about it and give specifics on why she's not the one in case anyone is interested.

At this point it looks like being a "uncooperative, bad patient" at the good hospital, maybe the best choice. More research to be done!

Thanks for the support. I'll keep you posted on things as we make decisions or learn more!
I'm not a twin mama, but I've been the "uncooperative, bad patient" before and it's doable. But MUCH easier if you have an advocate there for you, if you think your husband can handle it, then great, but find yourself a doula! My husband is wonderful, but non-confrontational and more trusting of the medical community than I am, so I didn't feel like I could rely on him to speak up on my behalf when I was at 9cm transitioning!

Good luck, you'll find the decision that's right for you!
post #18 of 32
Are there any birth centers in your area? Or one you could drive to when in labor that would be near a hospital? I know a mama who interviewed several midwives before finding the right one, maybe you need to talk to a few more.
Yes on the doula, mine helped me a lot. Even though I had quite a few interventions, she helped me feel at peace (at least at the time) with them.

Sorry it didn't go well.
post #19 of 32
Yikes that's not good. Midwife since apprenticing in the late 80's and no twin births since then? Maybe she never takes on "higher risk" clients. At least she was honest with you!

You may need a doula if you decide to birth at the hospital. Oh, and heck, I wanted a doula and mine were born at home!
post #20 of 32
Second on getting a doula, where ever you are, but in a hospital most of all. You can ask around and find someone familiar with the hospital who can work within the system to get what you want. It'll put your mind at ease and free your husband up too. Neither of you should be fighting with interventionist drs and nurses.

Being far from a good hospital is tough and scary. I'm not sure I would have attempted it although I know those who have successfully.

It's a little crazy, but you could "homebirth" in a hotel near the hospital if you found a good midwife. It's not ideal, but you'd be close the hospital if you needed it, and there'd be room service! Someone else could clean! Mull it over and try another midwife if you can manage.

Best wishes!
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