Why do people think breastfeeding in public = major exposure and obscene displays? - Page 3

[Meg_s]

My husband was in the airport and a lady was nursing her toddler, he said that she had just pulled her shirt over her head and was sitting there with both breasts out, with the toddler going on and off. He thought that was a little much for an airport...but no one said anything.

A lot of people don't notice when I'm nursing either, they think the kid is just snuggled up and quiet. Like my kids would ever be that still without a breast in their mouth

[LilacMama]

I think for some people it's the breast itself that is offensive. Others are okay with breasts except for the nipples. "OMG A NIPPLE!" Others truly are offended by the idea of breastfeeding. Even if they say they're for it, they'll say that the woman should be at home or in a closet/bathroom/car or should have pumped before leaving the house.

So, your feeling about whether a nursing cover is "discreet" or not depends on your "issue" with NIP. Is it the breast/nipple ("get a cover!!!!! ahhhh!!!!") or is in the breastfeeding itself ("ahhh!!! stay at home!!!!").

Those of you who say you are NOT discreet in public make me laugh. I think you're just fine and I'd defend you if anyone gave you a hard time (unless you'd already clobbered them over the head just fine on your own!).

But seriously, no wonder breastfeeding rates are so low! Women don't want to be pumping before each outing or confined to home/bathrooms with the alternative being that others think they are "indecent/unsightly."

Very sad situation.

Thankfully, I'm thick skinned enough to truly not care if someone else is uncomfortable in this situation. Honestly, I'm SUPER polite and go out of my way to make people feel comfortable, but this just ain't one of those situations. I, personally, WOULD like to be discreet to prove to the naysayers that it can be done.

[*Erin*]

well after having nursed my dd to age 4.5, and currently nursing my huge 30 lb 9 month old, i can truly say i have some experience in the realm of public nursing. i can say that without a doubt i have never put on an "obscene" show while i nurse! i don't think most people even realize what i'm doing. and i wouldnt care if they did and were bothered. not my problem. my baby deserves to eat when he is hungry. period. nobody has ever said anything negative to me about nip. they better not-grrrrr.

it's so crappy that boobs are so sexualized, and that we are made to feel so uncomfortable about nursing our babies. sometimes i feel a little uncomfortable with the stares, but i fake it til i'm actually ok. i think it's so important to NORMALIZE nursing, and i remind myself that my simple act of feeding my son is actually a really powerful thing, that maybe a mama might try to nurse or nip b/c she saw me do it and it wasn't as bad as she thought or it looked easy and normal (it is)

Or maybe because i make it look COOL lol!

i am the only person i've ever seen nipping. wait. no i saw ONE mama, once, at the park, nurse her 1 yr old. and i saw a lady at a sam's club, many yrs ago, i think she was nursing.

[natty529]

A lot of people don't notice when I'm nursing either, they think the kid is just snuggled up and quiet. Like my kids would ever be that still without a breast in their mouth

this is funny... it reminded me of a few years ago befor we had a child, my DH went to give my SIL a hug while she was nursing her 2 year old DD, and much to his surprise, he got an eye full of boob- he had NO CLUE she was nursing!!!

[MommyofAngelBabies]

Hello Everyone!

I am a mommy of 3 kids and have nursed them all. I am currently nursing the baby. I have nursed in public at times, but have always done so without exposing myself. I actually disagree partly with some of you. I am ALL for breastfeeding and always have been. I always try to educate people on the benefits of breastfeeding as well. BUT.... I do have an issue with completely displaying breasts in public, even while breastfeeding. Here is the main issue for me... I am DISGUSTED at the magazines, etc showing pictures of half nude women as it is. They are becoming more and more rampant and now can even be seen in public places, without even trying to find them.

I have no desire for my kids to see that kind of garbage, and my husband avoids things like that, because he is trying to keep himself pure of any women besides me. It is a hard enough battle with all the garbage out there.
We actually had a lady completely expose herself while in a small room of couples who were all pregnant, and or had babies. Everyone else would always nurse discreetly, except for her... This really bothered my husband, who instantly looked away. A man who actually wants to keep his eyes away from nudity, should have that right. That is really my only issue with breastfeeding in public. I guess I am one of the "paranoid" ones as some of you said, about NOT showing myself in public. I have always been thin with large breasts, so it has nothing to do with self-image. It has to do with not agreeing with the entire culture of showing off the entire body. I fight against stuff like that, and we all make the point of walking as far away from mags, etc that we know are in a particular area. My son will have a hard enough time growing up, without unduly exposing him to that "glorification of pornography" that has become the culture. I always cover myself with a blanket or actually usually a sling, stretched out, as I have found that easier.

Now... to all those who have issues just with the fact of a woman feeding her baby in public... I think that is ridiculous and should never be a reason! Women do have a right to feed their babies in public. But I feel it should be done in respect for people as far as nudity goes. Because I know how things are going downhill... and I can see it now. If everyone starts excepting nursing mother's with their breasts hanging out for all to see in public, it just opens the door for it to become an ok thing to do, even if not nursing mother. And for the record, I do not agree with women who walk around barely covered either, so I am not just talking breastfeeding here. My family and I should have a right to walk into public "family friendly" stores, without having to see half the garbage, that out country seems to think is ok, and that goes for not having to see a woman's exposed breast either, wether it be a nursing mother or a picture/mag, etc.
Does anyone see the point I am trying to make? I know.. long winded, but hopefully I got the jist of my feeling across.

[natty529]

Does anyone see the point I am trying to make? I know.. long winded, but hopefully I got the jist of my feeling across.

i do understand about the not approving of gratuitous nudity, who does. when i responded originally, i said that i nip w/o cover. and i do. but, more often than not, nothing AT ALL shows. and id A LITTLE bit shows, it is still WAY less than 90% of the magazine covers on the shelf!

[mamakay]

I have always been thin with large breasts, so it has nothing to do with self-image. It has to do with not agreeing with the entire culture of showing off the entire body. I fight against stuff like that, and we all make the point of walking as far away from mags, etc that we know are in a particular area. My son will have a hard enough time growing up, without unduly exposing him to that "glorification of pornography" that has become the culture. I always cover myself with a blanket or actually usually a sling, stretched out, as I have found that easier.

See, the way I see it is, by NOT overly covering during NIP, I'm helping change the cultural norm that "breasts are always sexual and dirty and to be hidden".

[the_lissa]

Exactly!

[annettemarie]

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[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by MommyofAngelBabies

Hello Everyone!

I am a mommy of 3 kids and have nursed them all. I am currently nursing the baby. I have nursed in public at times, but have always done so without exposing myself. I actually disagree partly with some of you. I am ALL for breastfeeding and always have been. I always try to educate people on the benefits of breastfeeding as well. BUT.... I do have an issue with completely displaying breasts in public, even while breastfeeding. Here is the main issue for me... I am DISGUSTED at the magazines, etc showing pictures of half nude women as it is. They are becoming more and more rampant and now can even be seen in public places, without even trying to find them.

I have no desire for my kids to see that kind of garbage, and my husband avoids things like that, because he is trying to keep himself pure of any women besides me. It is a hard enough battle with all the garbage out there.
We actually had a lady completely expose herself while in a small room of couples who were all pregnant, and or had babies. Everyone else would always nurse discreetly, except for her... This really bothered my husband, who instantly looked away. A man who actually wants to keep his eyes away from nudity, should have that right. That is really my only issue with breastfeeding in public. I guess I am one of the "paranoid" ones as some of you said, about NOT showing myself in public. I have always been thin with large breasts, so it has nothing to do with self-image. It has to do with not agreeing with the entire culture of showing off the entire body. I fight against stuff like that, and we all make the point of walking as far away from mags, etc that we know are in a particular area. My son will have a hard enough time growing up, without unduly exposing him to that "glorification of pornography" that has become the culture. I always cover myself with a blanket or actually usually a sling, stretched out, as I have found that easier.

Now... to all those who have issues just with the fact of a woman feeding her baby in public... I think that is ridiculous and should never be a reason! Women do have a right to feed their babies in public. But I feel it should be done in respect for people as far as nudity goes. Because I know how things are going downhill... and I can see it now. If everyone starts excepting nursing mother's with their breasts hanging out for all to see in public, it just opens the door for it to become an ok thing to do, even if not nursing mother. And for the record, I do not agree with women who walk around barely covered either, so I am not just talking breastfeeding here. My family and I should have a right to walk into public "family friendly" stores, without having to see half the garbage, that out country seems to think is ok, and that goes for not having to see a woman's exposed breast either, wether it be a nursing mother or a picture/mag, etc.
Does anyone see the point I am trying to make? I know.. long winded, but hopefully I got the jist of my feeling across.

Hmmm. I think that most people here view breasts being exposed for sexual gratification and breasts being exposed while feeding a baby as two completely different things and really, having nothing to do with each other. On the contrary, I think that exposing breasts in the context that nature intended them for (i.e. feeding a baby) can act to diminish the West's obsession with breasts as first and foremost something sexual.

You may be interested to know that even in very conservative Muslim cultures of the Gulf (Saudi Arabia, Yemen, UAE...), where local women are expected to cover themselves in an abaya and a headcovering, they nevertheless are free to nurse in public and often have openings in their abayas for this very purpose. Interesting that in a culture that obviously values modesty, feeding a baby is not viewed as sexual, inappropriate or immodest at all.

I'm curious, were your husband in subsaharan Africa, surrounded by topless women babywearing and breastfeeding in public all day long, would he be offended? Would he expect the women to cover up for him? If not, why not? And if it is really all just a question of what culture you find yourself in, why should we not consider changing the norms of our culture by showing breasts as something for feeding babies, rather than respecting the norms of that go along with complete breast sexualization?

As for the "right" of others not to see breasts, well, I think the right of the mother to feed her baby comfortably (for both mom and baby) is paramount and it is the mother who should decide what she needs to do to get that done. I personally find it impossible to latch a baby without exposing nipple. I also believe that it must be excruciatingly suffocating for a baby to eat while being covered with a blanket.

[LilacMama]

I have to agree with Roman Goddess. While I respect your viewpoint Mommy of AngelBabies, I would be glad for my growing sons (not that I have any! hypothetical growing sons only to see a breast in the context of breastfeeding. I think that's pure and beautiful and as God intended. I think mature men can reason through it to distinguish the difference between pornography ("naked breasts for me!") verses breastfeeding ("naked breast for her baby's nourishment") and respect the distinction quite easily. Men aren't as stupid as we assume they are or as stupid as we LET them be sometimes here in the US!

I share your distaste for pornography which I think is completely negative towards women and opposite of God's plan for human beauty/sexuality. A mother breastfeeding her babes is beautiful in the true sense of the word, not the "PlayBoy" sense, and is one of the contexts that I would like my family to have for women/mothers.

[the_lissa]

Great post RomanGoddess.

[AnnR33]

LOL I had to laugh because the only time I've seen an obviously exposed breast while NIP was with a friend with HUGE boobs. I mean 'to her knees when she sat down' kind of huge. She was not shy and when it was time to nurse her baby she whipped it out at the Burger King play area where we had met with our older kids to play. There were only 2 other adults around and they disappeared within seconds.
Nobody said anything but I kept thinking that she could do some serious damage with those boobs if someone criticized her LOL

Of all the NIP I've ever seen it's ALWAYS been discreet with very little if any skin showing. On the rare occasion someone would scowl I'd be shocked because they couldn't see anything! They just didn't like IDEA of NIP. People need to get over it

[gratefulstella]

Originally Posted by GooeyRN

Less than a month ago a 20 something year old woman with 2 children (one around age 2 I think) walked about 10 feet away from me and yelled "Its called a bottle" while I was nursing ds in Wal-Mart. I don't get it. I was showing less boob than she was!

I wanted to squirt both of them in the eye, lol.

What do you say as a comeback to this? I have a comeback for the ever popular "go to the bathroom for that" (I would say...do you eat in a bathroom, I didn't think so, so neither will my DD), but what do you say to the infamous it's called a bottle? Any ideas?:

PS some of these posts have me about falling out of my chair laughing~~

On another note, I almost feel bad because I do cover when I NIP, but what I really want to do is hang it out there and let DD go to town...but she isn't too great at staying on...she likes to diddle daddle a lot! I think I'm scared of the reaction but really want to just do it. I think the first time I NIP w/o covering up will be seriously empowering to myself. My SIL used to do it all the time...I want to be so bold...wish me luck ladies. :

[GooeyRN]

Originally Posted by gratefulstella

What do you say as a comeback to this? I have a comeback for the ever popular "go to the bathroom for that" (I would say...do you eat in a bathroom, I didn't think so, so neither will my DD), but what do you say to the infamous it's called a bottle? Any ideas?:

PS some of these posts have me about falling out of my chair laughing~~

On another note, I almost feel bad because I do cover when I NIP, but what I really want to do is hang it out there and let DD go to town...but she isn't too great at staying on...she likes to diddle daddle a lot! I think I'm scared of the reaction but really want to just do it. I think the first time I NIP w/o covering up will be seriously empowering to myself. My SIL used to do it all the time...I want to be so bold...wish me luck ladies. :

I did not say anything, just glared with no expression. They were too far away. I would have had to shout.

[N8'sMom]

nak...........

I try to be discreet as possible...I'm fairly sure I haven't flashed anyone. With that being said, I don't run around griping to men who show their plumber's butt-crack, or girls who show their thong hanging out the back of their pants or any woman showing cleavage......I just look away and that's what people should do if they don't want to see someone giving their baby food.