pagans who cover? - Page 6

[Sheal]

http://www.doubleheaderusa.com/results.asp?catid=30

Maybe one of these might be accommodating to your dress?

[eilonwy]

Wanna post a picture of the dress?

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

I
I do have a challenge coming up though... I'm in a wedding party at the end of this month. The dress is actually really nice (the bride is a very close friend and she really did try to find something we could wear "in the real world" too) but I have NO idea what to do with my hair! Besides not wanting to go uncovered in a hyper stressful situation, my hair just isn't styled these days to look "good" on it's own. I found a gauzy black/silver metallic hair tie (by goody, at target) that might work... it's thin and wont cover much, but it will cover some, keep my hair neat, and match the dress. So we'll see.

Coveryourhair.com has some really nice wide headbands in different fabrics. Perhaps one of those will meet your needs?

[eilonwy]

Here you go. I'm still not feeling well, and I still had to take them myself with the baby in the other hand. I didn't cover all of my hair today, just most of it.

[MommaFox]

I'm so fascinated by this, I've brought it up on a local mail list. There's a general consensus among the ladies that hair covering somehow... Man, I can never find the right words.. lessens(?) the woman. As I have none of the hang-ups about head covering that seem prevelant in the local Pagan community, I never thought of this as an issue. The hardest part for me in taking the leap will be adding it to my routine. It's hard for me to remember medicines.
About the hang-ups, they include subjegation, submission, objectification, covering up the Gods' perfect work... etc. I've always seen it as enhancing beauty. I've always loved the way it looks. I just brought it up with DH and he asked me if I meant one that covered the whole head/face and such. He's sweet I told him that it'd probably just be a scarf or somesuch.
Now, I've not cut my hair for years as a sign of defference to the Gods. Oh, I've trimmed it and shaped it up, but I feel a bit guilty every time I do. I see it as something along the same lines.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by MommaFox

I'm so fascinated by this, I've brought it up on a local mail list. There's a general consensus among the ladies that hair covering somehow... Man, I can never find the right words.. lessens(?) the woman.

This is the same argument that many have against women who "choose" to stay at home with their babies, though. It's an extreme reaction to years of patriarchal oppression. I grok that, but I'm not a fan of ditching the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.

About the hang-ups, they include subjegation, submission, objectification, covering up the Gods' perfect work... etc.

I find it fascinating that these arguments all come from a patriarchal paradigm... but maybe I'm just a dork.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

This is the same argument that many have against women who "choose" to stay at home with their babies, though. It's an extreme reaction to years of patriarchal oppression. I grok that, but I'm not a fan of ditching the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.


I find it fascinating that these arguments all come from a patriarchal paradigm... but maybe I'm just a dork.

I totally agree... It seems if something is done 'typically' for one reason by one group, society has a hard time comprehending someone doing something similar but from a completely different angle! And I love the word 'grok' hehehe.

[AlpineMama]

Originally Posted by MommaFox

Now, I've not cut my hair for years as a sign of defference to the Gods. Oh, I've trimmed it and shaped it up, but I feel a bit guilty every time I do. I see it as something along the same lines.

This makes a lot of sense. I keep cutting my hair short for some reason and HATING it when I do. It's almost perverse. My hair is short again now and I swore up and down I wouldn't cut it again. Perhaps if I take my example from you and "dedicate" my hair to God then I won't be (as?) tempted to cut it again. I know that sounds a bit backwards, "using" religion to justify a decision, but the way I'm looking at it now... Perhaps the reason I always feel so "wrong/off" when I do cut it is because I lose some power/energy I wasn't aware of. Like the old Samson story, right? So... maybe therein lies the key.

I also ordered a wide headband from coveryourhair.com. If it was me I'd go full on and cover a lot more than that, but I guess this is for DH's benefit more than mine. It's more subtle than hijab, which is really what draws me. Maybe we'll ease into it?

[AlpineMama]

I thought this was relevant. I was browsing Etsy for a Christmas gifts for my mother and MIL and drifted off into pagan etsy. Anyway, they had some crowns, including this one. I'm not exactly advocating that for everyday use, but it got me thinking. I've never worn a crown of any sorts before for ritual, but I know lots of people who have.

And really early on when reading about Wicca I remember seeing that the "pointed witch's hat" was really a statement about the power of energy to draw down the moon to you? Yeah, I'm not entirely sure what that's about, as I'm not Wiccan and I was never very "into" the drawing down the moon thing, but I wouldn't mind hearing more about it.

One last bit... Face painting... From really early on I have been known to draw designs on my face with eyeliner, before ritual. Nothing too crazy but definitely noticeable (if there was anyone around to notice!). I wonder if this ties into covering at all, or would it be a different topic altogether? The face is ON the head but not on TOP of the head. But some people do cover the head, and then there's the topic of masks, and sheesh. We could veer off into all sorts of topics from there.

[wombatclay]

Hmmmm... I SWEAR I posted here about the wedding/dress and now I don't see it. Wierd.

The site you linked Sheal has some amazingly neat stuff! But I'll probably go more with a headband type deal. The thing is the bride doesn't really want anyone "standing out" and since I'd be the only one with a covering (other than her!) it would sort of pull the eye off of...well... off the bride.

The dress is lurvely... I'll see if I can find a photo. (I also need to find a tailor or a macy's that will do a long distance exchange cause it's way too big) Basically a black swingy dress, tied under the bust in an empire style, falls to just below the knee and has a sort of halter top... similar to a bikini top sorta? There is a black band that goes around the neck at collarbone level and the "breast covering fabric" comes up from the ribbon and loops over this band.... same in the back so there is a sort of opening between the breasts and along the backbone, but not really a lot of skin exposed. She has shawls for everyone so I don't want dangly scarf ends, and with the low neckline a snood would stand out... but a headband might work.

I'll get a pic... Macy's must have one online somewhere!

[Sheal]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

Hmmmm... I SWEAR I posted here about the wedding/dress and now I don't see it. Wierd.

The site you linked Sheal has some amazingly neat stuff! But I'll probably go more with a headband type deal. The thing is the bride doesn't really want anyone "standing out" and since I'd be the only one with a covering (other than her!) it would sort of pull the eye off of...well... off the bride.

I can understand the Bride to Be wanting the eye to stay on her for the day. It is her day right. Being that I just not that long ago got married (completely Pagan wedding by the way) in August I can see where she is coming from. You are quite accommodating to your friend, that's awesome.

Dress sounds lovely too. I hope you find the band you are looking for. Send my congrats to the Bride & Groom and well wishes.

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by wombatclay

The site you linked Sheal has some amazingly neat stuff! But I'll probably go more with a headband type deal. The thing is the bride doesn't really want anyone "standing out" and since I'd be the only one with a covering (other than her!) it would sort of pull the eye off of...well... off the bride.

I think the feather headbands would be awesome and beautiful, but might be distracting.
I hope you find what you are looking for!

Is this the dress?

[PatienceAndLove]

Originally Posted by AlpineMama

I also ordered a wide headband from coveryourhair.com. If it was me I'd go full on and cover a lot more than that, but I guess this is for DH's benefit more than mine. It's more subtle than hijab, which is really what draws me. Maybe we'll ease into it?

Have you checked out HeadcoveringsByDevorah.com? She has lots of really nice items.
I am partial to the Tiechels she carries. Very nice cotton ones for everyday and nicer fabrics for special events and the like.

[wombatclay]

It's similar to that dress... I actually found a picture on amazon here.

Just add a purple shawl (the wedding flowers are all irises). She's a really good friend, she's been through SO much to get to this place in her life... there really isn't that much I wouldn't do to make her day as much fun as possible and have it match the picture in her head.

[Twinklefae]

What if you did something like an "onion skin" tichel from that "Headcoverings by Devorah" place? If you tie it like I do (Israeli Tichel), from the distance it will look a bit like you have yoru hair pulled back in a bun.

I feel really silly right now... I haven't been covering for the past week or so. My best friend, who I adore, called it a "do rag" and made me feel really silly about it. (Not intentionally, she was actually hinting that it's important for me to take the time to get a hair cut if I need one) I need to talk to her about it, but I also need to remind myself why I am choosing to cover. I just feel really weird about it now. Like a poser. But at the same time, I like covering, it makes me feel good.

[LionessMom]

i was told by DH that i look like i have cancer. made me feel a little uncomfortable. i still wear it out though. all it did was make me want to find more options. like size, style, and different ways to tie. i still want o cover b/c it makes me feel more comfortable outside. i like what a pp said about married women covering.

when i cover i feel "devout" and "priestessly". kwim?

[Twinklefae]

Oooh, that's terrible. OT: I hate it when people say you look like a cancer victim. I lost my mom to breast cancer at age 11, and it really really bothers me. (She wore turbans when going through chemo)

I'm glad DH has been really supportive, but I see bff something like 4-6 times a week. (We've been going to the UU together, we met last night just to grab some things at the dollar store for 20 min.) so I need to talk to her. I really do. I'm just worried that she'll think I'm crazy. (She's pagan too... she has a LO 5 months older than me.)

[wombatclay]

I really like the headbands on the Devorah page... anyone know how they fasten? Is it tied or is it elastic?

[MyLittleWonders]

Originally Posted by MommaFox

I'm so fascinated by this, I've brought it up on a local mail list. There's a general consensus among the ladies that hair covering somehow... Man, I can never find the right words.. lessens(?) the woman. As I have none of the hang-ups about head covering that seem prevelant in the local Pagan community, I never thought of this as an issue. The hardest part for me in taking the leap will be adding it to my routine. It's hard for me to remember medicines.
About the hang-ups, they include subjegation, submission, objectification, covering up the Gods' perfect work... etc. I've always seen it as enhancing beauty. I've always loved the way it looks. I just brought it up with DH and he asked me if I meant one that covered the whole head/face and such. He's sweet I told him that it'd probably just be a scarf or somesuch.
Now, I've not cut my hair for years as a sign of defference to the Gods. Oh, I've trimmed it and shaped it up, but I feel a bit guilty every time I do. I see it as something along the same lines.

Originally Posted by eilonwy

This is the same argument that many have against women who "choose" to stay at home with their babies, though. It's an extreme reaction to years of patriarchal oppression. I grok that, but I'm not a fan of ditching the baby with the bathwater, so to speak.



I find it fascinating that these arguments all come from a patriarchal paradigm... but maybe I'm just a dork.

These are the only arguments I have ever heard in regards to covering. It is why I covered when I was a Christian (Paul's letter and all that ). I am only now able to begin to see another dimension of it all. I think patriarchal thinking is ingrained in us as a society; it is very hard, at least for me, to break free of its grips. I don't even know quite where to begin, but this thread is a good start ...

There is a part of me that wishes I felt as compelled to cover again, though from a different perspective this time. Maybe once I understand the different perspective on in, then it might all fall into place. (Though I also don't want to fall back into full-time covering, but that's another whole story. ) I do love the idea of covering to protect oneself from negative/draining energy. Right now I am working on healing from many, many years of adrenal fatigue. I have always been very susceptible to energy from others (particularly, it is very easy for me to be pulled down to a lower energy level), and using a covering of some sort as a "barrier" in a way might be very therapeutic for me.

And not to make light of things (though for me the topic is not fluff), but this also reminds me of Lisa Williams (we love her ... though I have no issues believing in the ability to converse with those who have passed over) and how she wears a hat of some sort to let the spirits around her know she's "off limits" at the time. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[CariOfOz]

Originally Posted by MyLittleWonders

And not to make light of things (though for me the topic is not fluff), but this also reminds me of Lisa Williams (we love her ... though I have no issues believing in the ability to converse with those who have passed over) and how she wears a hat of some sort to let the spirits around her know she's "off limits" at the time. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Interesting angle on things that's for sure!

RE the cancer victim comments: My mom died of cancer this past March & I did wear a bandana a lot of the time after she lost her hair... we lived FAR apart & I could not be there in person so it was a way of being there in spirit. Boy did people really wish they hadn't been nosy/rude when they commented on it because I told them just that.

I am having quite the problem with my headbands at the moment : I am breaking out ALL around my hairline. I may have to find all cotton bandanas/scarves & see if that helps.