I am having a problem at My daughter's Montessori school. My daughter will be five in December. I really need help sorting it all out. I don't want to overreact or underreact...if that makes sense.
Up to this point we’ve loved it at this school. Her teachers are wonderful. She is learning alot. I like the specials day with art, music, environmental education, pe. There are chickens and a garden. They have neat get togethers that really build community. I haven’t however cared for the number of kids/teachers on the playground, but I’ve let everything else outweigh that complaint.
Well Thursday night there was a parent meeting about bullying. We showed up because our daughter has had several complaints about the playground.
When we arrived at the school, a parent was in front of the school handing out a printout of an incident report involving her daughter. She wants everyone to know what happened and how the school is handling it.
On the way in, we read it. Here is what happened:
Tuesday afternoon, a grandma was picking up her grandson at school. They went with the entire class outside to the playground for a few minutes. Shortly after the beginning of recess, the Grandma saw a little girl laying on her stomach underneath a bus metal structure with her bottom bare. Her pants were pulled down to the top of her thighs. Two boys were on either side of her touching her. The grandma asked what they were doing, and they all ran off. That day she told her grandson’s mother. The mother called the director at 7pm with the information. The director called the kids teacher and asked her to interview the kids for what happened.
The next morning (Wednesday), the kids came to school. The parents have still not heard anything about what happened. The teacher individually interviewed them about the incident. She wrote a report summarizing the interviews that was attached to the incident report. The interviews revealed that one of the boys at lunch time had planned with his friends to pull the little girls pants down and touch her during recess. Three hours later, as soon as they got on the playground, they committed the act. The oldest boy was 6 and the other boy was 5. There was a 4 year boy that watched and the little girl was 4. One boy said he went along with it because the boy had said he wouldn’t be his friend if he didn’t. An e-mail was sent out to all of the parents in the room. The parents were then notified by phone in the afternoon (almost 24 hours later!).
At the meeting, the incident is described by the director as follows: “Four children were complicit in acting/cooperating together on the playground in a situation of inappropriate touch. No one acted against their will nor were held against their will as we discovered.”
I brought up that I feel like there are too many kids and not enough redirection from staff when needed on the playground. I feel like that contributes to a free-for-all mentality on the part of the kids. I asked how many kids are on the playground typically (especially during lunch). The director said 60-70. I asked why the playground says the capacity is 46. She acknowledges that the playground is not big enough for the number of kids, but that they can enlarge it. I ask about the number of staff on the playground. During this discussion, I find out that there should be an adult for every 14 kids. Most often I see 3 staff members, some of which take the kids inside for drinks or bathrooming. I’ve seen as few as one staff member on the playground when others are taking in kids. So at this meeting I find out the ratios for kids to adults is lacking. I had no idea that those were the ratios needed. Despite all of these issues and concerns, she says that she thinks the playground is well supervised. I will say that when the incident occurred, it was only one class of kids on the playground. But I think it is telling that the boys PLANNED the act for the playground. I think they know there isn’t a lot of supervision and that is the time to act.
So,
The director knowingly exceeded playground capacity and ratios.
The director dismisses the touching act as cooperative when I think it clearly is not according to the teacher’s account from the interviews.
She didn't notify the parent in a timely manner in my opinion.
She was very defensive and almost hostile towards the mother whose daughter was involved.
The director says they are increasing play space on the playground and the number of staff. Also, she had a meeting with the playground staff to remind them of how and when to take kids to the bathroom.
The main boy that orchestrated the event is still at school.
So if the playground situation is improved, is that enough? Do I let them make that fix and stay at school?
Do I only let my daughter stay until lunch and keep her at the school, but not the playground?
Or do I pull her out?
There is a contract we've signed for the year, but I wouldn't let that stop me from pulling my daughter.
Also, should I make sure all of the other parents are aware of what happened?
What do you think? I really value your opinion.
Up to this point we’ve loved it at this school. Her teachers are wonderful. She is learning alot. I like the specials day with art, music, environmental education, pe. There are chickens and a garden. They have neat get togethers that really build community. I haven’t however cared for the number of kids/teachers on the playground, but I’ve let everything else outweigh that complaint.
Well Thursday night there was a parent meeting about bullying. We showed up because our daughter has had several complaints about the playground.
When we arrived at the school, a parent was in front of the school handing out a printout of an incident report involving her daughter. She wants everyone to know what happened and how the school is handling it.
On the way in, we read it. Here is what happened:
Tuesday afternoon, a grandma was picking up her grandson at school. They went with the entire class outside to the playground for a few minutes. Shortly after the beginning of recess, the Grandma saw a little girl laying on her stomach underneath a bus metal structure with her bottom bare. Her pants were pulled down to the top of her thighs. Two boys were on either side of her touching her. The grandma asked what they were doing, and they all ran off. That day she told her grandson’s mother. The mother called the director at 7pm with the information. The director called the kids teacher and asked her to interview the kids for what happened.
The next morning (Wednesday), the kids came to school. The parents have still not heard anything about what happened. The teacher individually interviewed them about the incident. She wrote a report summarizing the interviews that was attached to the incident report. The interviews revealed that one of the boys at lunch time had planned with his friends to pull the little girls pants down and touch her during recess. Three hours later, as soon as they got on the playground, they committed the act. The oldest boy was 6 and the other boy was 5. There was a 4 year boy that watched and the little girl was 4. One boy said he went along with it because the boy had said he wouldn’t be his friend if he didn’t. An e-mail was sent out to all of the parents in the room. The parents were then notified by phone in the afternoon (almost 24 hours later!).
At the meeting, the incident is described by the director as follows: “Four children were complicit in acting/cooperating together on the playground in a situation of inappropriate touch. No one acted against their will nor were held against their will as we discovered.”
I brought up that I feel like there are too many kids and not enough redirection from staff when needed on the playground. I feel like that contributes to a free-for-all mentality on the part of the kids. I asked how many kids are on the playground typically (especially during lunch). The director said 60-70. I asked why the playground says the capacity is 46. She acknowledges that the playground is not big enough for the number of kids, but that they can enlarge it. I ask about the number of staff on the playground. During this discussion, I find out that there should be an adult for every 14 kids. Most often I see 3 staff members, some of which take the kids inside for drinks or bathrooming. I’ve seen as few as one staff member on the playground when others are taking in kids. So at this meeting I find out the ratios for kids to adults is lacking. I had no idea that those were the ratios needed. Despite all of these issues and concerns, she says that she thinks the playground is well supervised. I will say that when the incident occurred, it was only one class of kids on the playground. But I think it is telling that the boys PLANNED the act for the playground. I think they know there isn’t a lot of supervision and that is the time to act.
So,
The director knowingly exceeded playground capacity and ratios.
The director dismisses the touching act as cooperative when I think it clearly is not according to the teacher’s account from the interviews.
She didn't notify the parent in a timely manner in my opinion.
She was very defensive and almost hostile towards the mother whose daughter was involved.
The director says they are increasing play space on the playground and the number of staff. Also, she had a meeting with the playground staff to remind them of how and when to take kids to the bathroom.
The main boy that orchestrated the event is still at school.
So if the playground situation is improved, is that enough? Do I let them make that fix and stay at school?
Do I only let my daughter stay until lunch and keep her at the school, but not the playground?
Or do I pull her out?
There is a contract we've signed for the year, but I wouldn't let that stop me from pulling my daughter.
Also, should I make sure all of the other parents are aware of what happened?
What do you think? I really value your opinion.
None of the school's responses sit well with me. What happened to that little girl makes me feel quite ill and I wouldn't feel good sending my kid to that school after knowing that.
: Dh used to work as a manager at a daycare and from what we've observed parents really do need to familiarize themselves with the state licensing guidelines because more often than not many day cares put the bottom line first.
