Told to "cover up" at the ER

[guestmama9920]

We're in the UK, just FTR
They wanted me to use a gown to cover up while nursing, but how, its too much to hike up. then they wanted the door closed so i wouldn't offend anyone or parents of kids since I was nursing (at 2 am)

They also tried to say DH could take the kids home and give the baby the "made up" bottles we have at home. DD won't take bottles, syringe or much else, we can get her to take a bit of expressed with the SNS but it's a circus and only at the breast. Yeah if it was an emergency DH would have to deal, but I'd have to be unconscious, and even then he'd most likely latch her on for me

BF'ing is private I was told, after our "tiff" I tried to explain how nursing is normal and trying to make it normal in public is hard when people assume everyone will be offended and how no one has ever had anything but good comments about it the last 11 weeks



Just friday at the peds dept with DD they didn't even allow us a private area for a long time, when she's fussy I need to switch back and forth which is a pain while being discreet. Last 2 trips to the ER they didn;t allow the curtain closed again more boob flashing (early days, no nursing top) And I WANTED the curtain closed, but they didn't let us, so I don't get that at all.

I wasn't allowed to wear my nursing top, and I had the pillow so all you could see was the top of my breast while I was in a tucked up part of the ER at 2 am and the place was dead, I'm debating if I should complain, I have a right to nurse but I also am sadly a frequent visitor to the ER

[amitymama]

Hell yeah I would complain! ER staff should not be telling a nursing mother to cover up and they DEFINITELY should not be telling your husband to take the baby home and give it a bottle (why would they assume you have bottles made up at home anyway?)!!

[TigerTail]

Shameful. It is wicked when people use someone in a vulnerable position so; who is comfortable telling the ignorami who hold your life in their hands, "Bite my arse."? Which is, of course, the correct response.

Complain, complain, complain. I know that beaten, tired, "I don't have time for this crap" feeling very well; all you can do is enlist educated people in your defense while you are weak, & then fight for yourself & your child when you are able.

Perhaps you could your dh here for advice & support; if he is willing, he will be your best ally (him, & the hospital's lactation consultant. )

[tireesix]

Thats madness, at my ER when I went in with DD1 and was pregnant with DD2 they were really impressed I was still breastfeeding and really happy to see it.

I would totally complain. Apart from anything else, its bad enough being in hospital with a problem without adding being engorged to the list and our hospitals aren't great when it comes to breast pumps.

[paquerette]

Is NIP protected in any way in the UK?

How could they not allow you to wear your own clothes? What would have been the consequences if you'd refused?

[Britishmum]

I'm amazed that you encountered this, especially in the UK. I'd complain, in writing, immediately, and copy to everyone. I'm not sure of the heirarchy now of the NHS, as I'm out of touch, but I'd get names and copy them.

Totally disgraceful.

[calpurnia]

COMPLAIN. That should not be happening in an NHS hospital.

Contact PALS, the hospital lactation counsellor, your local NCT branch, LLL etc.

The NICE postnatal guidelines require all health care providers (hospitals and community) to "implement an externally evaluated structured programme that encourages breastfeeding, using the Unicef Baby Friendly Initiative as a minimum." from here

Here is a list of all the maternity units in the UK, with details on their Baby Friendly status, & contacts details for the chief executive. I would strongly urge you to find your hospital on that list & write to your chief exec.

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by Britishmama

We're in the UK, just FTR
They wanted me to use a gown to cover up while nursing, but how, its too much to hike up. then they wanted the door closed so i wouldn't offend anyone or parents of kids since I was nursing (at 2 am)

They also tried to say DH could take the kids home and give the baby the "made up" bottles we have at home. DD won't take bottles, syringe or much else, we can get her to take a bit of expressed with the SNS but it's a circus and only at the breast. Yeah if it was an emergency DH would have to deal, but I'd have to be unconscious, and even then he'd most likely latch her on for me

Or they could just go away and let you just feed your baby.:

BF'ing is private I was told, after our "tiff" I tried to explain how nursing is normal and trying to make it normal in public is hard when people assume everyone will be offended and how no one has ever had anything but good comments about it the last 11 weeks.


Bah! Nursing is no more private than sitting down to lunch.



Just friday at the peds dept with DD they didn't even allow us a private area for a long time, when she's fussy I need to switch back and forth which is a pain while being discreet. Last 2 trips to the ER they didn;t allow the curtain closed again more boob flashing (early days, no nursing top) And I WANTED the curtain closed, but they didn't let us, so I don't get that at all.

I wasn't allowed to wear my nursing top, and I had the pillow so all you could see was the top of my breast while I was in a tucked up part of the ER at 2 am and the place was dead, I'm debating if I should complain, I have a right to nurse but I also am sadly a frequent visitor to the ER

Because you are a frequent visitor I would complain. You're going to have to keep dealing with this idiocy. Maybe if you complain now it will be fixed for future visits. The last thing you need during an ER visit is someone pestering you about how you feed your child.

[kriket]

sorry mama,

you guys must have a slow ER

When I worked at an ER a night where we had time to complain about nursing would have been a blessing!

between the drunks throwing up and the gunshots, nursing moms were low on the list of people to heckle.

I would just keep doing what your doing, let them complain. skew them.

[Onemagicmummy]

Breastfeeding in public is protected under the Sex discrimination act i found this

i can t make head nor tail of the actualy law but its has always been that women are freee to BF where ever and when ever with a child of any age but a woman with a baby under 6 months has extra cover.

i would complain, write to the Patient Advice and Liason service
http://www.pals.nhs.uk/
write to the Health Authority that controls the hospital you were at
write to the hospital it self
write to the ER head
write to the papers
write to the Local News
Write to the Local Radio

maybe thats a bit of over kill but i got all angry then. i hope your little one is OK, and you too.

Kiz

[balancedmama]

Complain! Horrible! Of all places, where babies are protected by their mothers milk and sick sick kids come in all the time. Why wouldn't they advocate for you that your child will be healthier for your choices? I'd write letters to everyone I could find. Including the paper.

[AmandaTN]

Definitely complain. Change doesn't happen through silence.

[guestmama9920]

Thanks ladies, I'm internetless at the moment which makes it hard to do much. I think I will complain, the nurse was a PIA the rest of the night cause I didn't just shut up and cover up.

If I had really been in plain view of anyone of course I'd cover up to some degree, I wouldn't just be baring all

But truth be told, I didn't have much more exposed than if you wear a low cut top, cause of the pillow and such. And no one was around but staff which should be use to boobs.

Even more so I felt sad for the nurse, I doubt she will nurse her kids since she is ashamed of even someone ELSE NIP.

Oh and of course you have bottles made up at home, everyone uses bottles, there is no such thing to many of the health professionals here as exclusively breastfed without bottles or soothers.

Oh and FWIW they have made medical errors too, like saying my DS didn't have an ear infection which he did but we had to go private and pay $350+ to get it sorted, but for some reason THIS ticked me off more.

So far besides a few "your doing what?" looks from a few old men I've had a positive response NIP esp by little old ladies.

[mamabadger]

I find it ironic. One of the most frequent complaints I hear about ERs, and hospitals in general, is the cavalier attitude toward patients' modesty. They ask patients to walk from room to room in backless gowns, do exams that require disrobing with doors or curtains open, etc. Yet breastfeeding with the curtains open is indecent. :

[Mandynee22]

That bites. DS and I just had a four day stint in a hospital (him: pneumonia) and I think everyone in the pediatric department saw my boobs (nurses, Drs, food bringing people, housekeeping, etc). Nevermind covering up... our door never even closed- no curtain even existed anyway- and uh... DS is a twiddler and I was too damn tired to even pull my shirt down so not only was the nursing boob exposed, so was the other one LOLNow I feel even more lucky that I didn't have to deal with BS regaurding BFing my 2 yr old.I'm sorry that happened to you :-(

[Mokhwrar]

Originally Posted by Britishmama

Yeah if it was an emergency DH would have to deal, but I'd have to be unconscious, and even then he'd most likely latch her on for me

This is SO my husband! : He would absolutely do that!