Anyone else totally miserable? (warning, incoming vent)

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

I am a terrible mother. I should love being pregnant and be so thankful to be able to have children. But I am telling you, I am at the end of my ROPE!!! I am 38 weeks 2 days, but I may as well be 45 weeks the way I feel. And to boot, I have been having cramping, back pain, and headaches for days. Yesterday was the longest day EVER!!!! I had a few really good contractions, but nothing came of it. I have a Dr. appt today at 1230, and if I havent dialted more or effaced more or if the baby hasnt decended more, i may just CRY. Wait, I have already done a ton of that.

I know, I know!!! My pregnancy has been really good with minimum problems. But I am just totally up on feeling sorry for myself right now. DH doesn't have a CLUE what I am going through physically, emotionally. Of course DS is completly clueless, as hes way to little to even understand what the heck is going on. I try to keep looking at the brighter side, like how close they will be in age. But I also keep thinking about how hard its going to be caring for such a little guy with a one year old running around. I may need to be committed for a few days......

[guestmama9904]

i feel your pain sister and i am only 36 weeks 6 days and i am am DONE! i vomit every night from heartburn, i am soooo tired from the moment i wake until the moment i sleep, i hat cooking, i hate food, my feet are fat ugh.

[ICURNMama]

I can totally relate. I am 39 weeks 5 days and I just had a Dr. appointment today. I'm still dilated at 1cm (have been for the past three weeks) and the baby hasn't dropped at all. She said the baby is so high that if she can't feel a presenting part next week then I should prepare myself for the good possiblity of needing a section. She also scheduled an induction for the 21st. I came home and cried. I REALLY don't want to be induced, I REALLY want a vaginal birth and I REALLY don't want to still be pregnant on the 21st. I know its still a long time away and alot could happen by then but I just felt like she thinks I'll end up needing a section

[guestmama9904]

Originally Posted by ICURNMama

I can totally relate. I am 39 weeks 5 days and I just had a Dr. appointment today. I'm still dilated at 1cm (have been for the past three weeks) and the baby hasn't dropped at all. She said the baby is so high that if she can't feel a presenting part next week then I should prepare myself for the good possiblity of needing a section. She also scheduled an induction for the 21st. I came home and cried. I REALLY don't want to be induced, I REALLY want a vaginal birth and I REALLY don't want to still be pregnant on the 21st. I know its still a long time away and alot could happen by then but I just felt like she thinks I'll end up needing a section

um, please get a second opinion mama, asap! many many babies do not "drop" until labour begins! medically speaking your OBGYN is not correct in stating you will need a c section because your baby hasn't dropped at 40 weeks exactly. a baby isn't even technically overdue until AFTER 42 weeks! are you high risk or do you have some other medical reason to be induced besides the supposed fact that you haven't dropped at 40 weeks? it is much more risky to have an unneccessary induction or csection then it is to let your body and baby go into labor on its own when it is ready. i would seriously consider switching providers.

[Jamie19]

I was due saturday and I have felt like crap everyday of this pregnancy and its not getting any better, I just want it over

[ambotchka]

Me too. *grumpy* I'm going for a vigorous walk this afternoon, if I can get someone to go out with me in the rain. Other than my daughter, of course, who will inevitably want me to carry her. I know she's small for her age, but 23 lbs is STILL 23 lbs!

Ok...I have fifteen minutes to pick up the whole house. Wish me luck.

[Katielady]

Let's see...

-House still infested with fleas; initial treatments didn't work so we need to get an exterminator. Son got a bite on his face yesterday.

-Cold turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection. Natural remedies not working. Can't sleep, up all night coughing. Now the yellow gunk coming out of my nose and throat is tinged with blood. Started taking OTC cold & cough medicines, and then get paranoid about it every time the baby hasn't moved for a while. Finally decided to go on antibiotics. Terrified of having yeast infection during labor, but don't want a respiratory infection during labor either.

-Chewed on ice to soothe sore throat and did something to one of my teeth; it's now aching constantly and tylenol only takes the edge off. Seeing dentist tomorrow. Have a feeling will need second root canal this pregnancy.

-Husband had allergic reaction to new laundry detergent I bought. Need to rewash all his clothes & all linens. And hope that that really was the cause, and that his face won't blow up again.

And I'm term today- 37 weeks. I thought I'd be so excited when I reached this milestone...instead I'm completely miserable, scared, and wondering what the heck to do if I don't get better before the baby comes. I'm not even noticing the usual pregnancy concerns anymore...I just want to not be sick anymore.

WAH!!!!!! :

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by Katielady

Let's see...

-House still infested with fleas; initial treatments didn't work so we need to get an exterminator. Son got a bite on his face yesterday.

-Cold turned into bronchitis and a sinus infection. Natural remedies not working. Can't sleep, up all night coughing. Now the yellow gunk coming out of my nose and throat is tinged with blood. Started taking OTC cold & cough medicines, and then get paranoid about it every time the baby hasn't moved for a while. Finally decided to go on antibiotics. Terrified of having yeast infection during labor, but don't want a respiratory infection during labor either.

-Chewed on ice to soothe sore throat and did something to one of my teeth; it's now aching constantly and tylenol only takes the edge off. Seeing dentist tomorrow. Have a feeling will need second root canal this pregnancy.

-Husband had allergic reaction to new laundry detergent I bought. Need to rewash all his clothes & all linens. And hope that that really was the cause, and that his face won't blow up again.

And I'm term today- 37 weeks. I thought I'd be so excited when I reached this milestone...instead I'm completely miserable, scared, and wondering what the heck to do if I don't get better before the baby comes. I'm not even noticing the usual pregnancy concerns anymore...I just want to not be sick anymore.

WAH!!!!!! :

OK, I feel like a complete whiny tool now. Sorry for all your plight mama. You definetly have much more room to complain then I do.

Just got back from the Dr. Still only dialted at 1, 100% effaced, -1 station. I dont think he is ever going to come out. I will be pregnant forever, its official.

[Katielady]

Originally Posted by Barbie64g

OK, I feel like a complete whiny tool now. Sorry for all your plight mama. You definetly have much more room to complain then I do.

Just got back from the Dr. Still only dialted at 1, 100% effaced, -1 station. I dont think he is ever going to come out. I will be pregnant forever, its official.

Aw don't worry, it's not a contest. You can be miserable too.

I'm just totally psyched that you started a "who's miserable" thread-- I wanted to start one but felt like all I've done the past few months on here is complain.

You won't be pregnant forever! But it might feel like it. I swear, every day seems to last about 48 hours at this point. I'm watching the clock til I can put DS to bed and then become even more sedentary than I have been all day.

[RebeccaWo]

Sending good vibes your way! :

[OkiMom]

ICURN- They tried to say something similar with DD. I went in and she wasn't engagaed at all, not dilated or effaced. I was 39 weeks 4 days and the doctor told me there was no way I was going to go into labor that I should just get myself ready to be induced. She set up the induction date for two weeks from then. I had her on her due date after only 16 hours worth of labor (I say only because I had it in my mind that I would be in labor for days because of what the doctor had told me).

I think its totally normal to feel miserable right now. I can't sleep since my hips hurt soo bad that no matter how I lay it hurts. If they aren't hurting I have heartburn to bad Im throwing up. I feel like a terrible mom since DD has been watching TV way too much and not getting enough attention. Half the time Im thinking "please let her just get off of me" because she won't get off of my lap unless Im standing and then shes crying for me to pick her up. Ive been joking with my husband that Im going to start walking two miles a night to try to encourage the baby to come. Im 39weeks 1 day today.

[nerdymom]

Barbie - you have spent a good portion of the past two years pg, I think you're completely within your rights to feel this way. I'm 40 weeks 2 days and feeling like poo, and I don't have another baby to take care of!!!!!

[hislittlelambs]

barbie- i totally agree. when i had my second dd 13 months after my first dd, that whole pregnancy was he!! it was HARD being pregnant for so long with so little a break inbetween. i felt like i was "done" from the moment the strip turned pink lol...and then i worried and stressed the entire pregnancy if i'd be a good mom to my new child because i really couldn't enjoy the pregnancy as i was so focused at getting it over with. (((hugs))) you are NOT alone, and you do have EVERY right to feel "done" at this point!

that being said...100% effaced is WONDERFUL! i am JEALOUS you are at that point already! Every one thinks dialation is what's important about progress, but i believe it is EFFACEMENT. your body is only going to dialate so far without effacing itself, then it stops and has to start effacing to finish the process. however, once you are effaced to paper-thin, you dialate much easier and faster! you here of cervixes just "melting away"? yeah, that only happens when you are at the effacement you are at NOW...so be HIGHLY encouraged!! plus first timers tend to dialate first and then efface, and veteran moms tend to efface first and then dialate (and who gets the "quicker" labors usually??) i'm just sayin'....

Don't be discouraged! you are already WELL on your way! you are further than i EVER get before active labor...and this is my 4th! I don't dialate more than a fingertip or efface more than (usually 50%) until i am in well established active labor...

oh, my babies don't engage either. well, they will to say maybe a -3, but then they pop right back out again and float around...pretty close until i am pushing. they engage, descend, AND birth all in one flowy-motion lol. of course that is just me...but what i wanted to say is that, that is normal for some and doesn't effect AT ALL about when or how you will labor or birth. my last birth was that way, he engaged, descended, and birthed all in 20 minutes time! (5ish pushes)...my entire labor was 9 1/2 hours (10 when you count waiting on the placenta)....so don't let that discourage you, and don't believe you will "need" an induction. that isn't true one iota.

i am totally "done" too. all this pregnancy i have been convinced baby wouldn't come until 41 weeks at the min. then starting 2 weeks ago i began getting good prelabor symptoms...things i never got with my other 3, and certainly not that early. Midwife believed we'd have baby by today, or at the very least, sometime this week....guess what...no baby and all these "signs" have been me so tired and discouraged i am sick of them. i don't want to feel "done"..i WANT to cherish these last weeks...i even went to the infertility forums to try to shock me back to reality....i am just struggling so bad with STAYING in that "right" frame of mind. i hate this anxiety of waiting at the very end. ugh...

[~Charlie's~Angel~]

Originally Posted by Katielady

I'm watching the clock til I can put DS to bed and then become even more sedentary than I have been all day.

Thank goodness, Im not the only one! I love my son TO DEATH. He is my EVERYTHING. But I feel so bad that I can't give him the attention and play time he wants right now merely because I cant do it physically.

Originally Posted by OkiMom

I feel like a terrible mom since DD has been watching TV way too much and not getting enough attention. Half the time Im thinking "please let her just get off of me" because she won't get off of my lap unless Im standing and then shes crying for me to pick her up.

Thank Goodness for Baby's First TV channel. It has been a Godsend! Educational and he LOVES it. I do try to sing and play along with him, but I still feel bad that he is watching so much. We are having some unusually warm Nov weather for Upstate NY, so I have been trying to take him for walks if I feel up to it. I will be today for sure!

Originally Posted by nerdymom

Barbie - you have spent a good portion of the past two years pg, I think you're completely within your rights to feel this way. I'm 40 weeks 2 days and feeling like poo, and I don't have another baby to take care of!!!!!

Ahhh, thank you. My friends and family are sick of hearing it. Especially DH. Ive said it before; some men have NO sympathy at all! They just dont understand, and how could they really?

Originally Posted by hislittlelambs

barbie- i totally agree. when i had my second dd 13 months after my first dd, that whole pregnancy was he!! it was HARD being pregnant for so long with so little a break inbetween. i felt like i was "done" from the moment the strip turned pink lol...and then i worried and stressed the entire pregnancy if i'd be a good mom to my new child because i really couldn't enjoy the pregnancy as i was so focused at getting it over with. (((hugs))) you are NOT alone, and you do have EVERY right to feel "done" at this point!

that being said...100% effaced is WONDERFUL! i am JEALOUS you are at that point already! Every one thinks dialation is what's important about progress, but i believe it is EFFACEMENT. your body is only going to dialate so far without effacing itself, then it stops and has to start effacing to finish the process. however, once you are effaced to paper-thin, you dialate much easier and faster! you here of cervixes just "melting away"? yeah, that only happens when you are at the effacement you are at NOW...so be HIGHLY encouraged!! plus first timers tend to dialate first and then efface, and veteran moms tend to efface first and then dialate (and who gets the "quicker" labors usually??) i'm just sayin'....

Don't be discouraged! you are already WELL on your way! you are further than i EVER get before active labor...and this is my 4th! I don't dialate more than a fingertip or efface more than (usually 50%) until i am in well established active labor...

oh, my babies don't engage either. well, they will to say maybe a -3, but then they pop right back out again and float around...pretty close until i am pushing. they engage, descend, AND birth all in one flowy-motion lol. of course that is just me...but what i wanted to say is that, that is normal for some and doesn't effect AT ALL about when or how you will labor or birth. my last birth was that way, he engaged, descended, and birthed all in 20 minutes time! (5ish pushes)...my entire labor was 9 1/2 hours (10 when you count waiting on the placenta)....so don't let that discourage you, and don't believe you will "need" an induction. that isn't true one iota.

Thank you for all the encouragement. It was well needed and MUCH appreciated. And don't worry on the induction. No one has even MENTIONED induction. The one doctor who has been seeing me the most and even took me out of work early because he was afraid the stress of it all was going to send me into labor before 37 weeks, does not think I will go much longer. But he is only a doctor, not God, so i still have my doubts. DS#1 was born the day after a full moon last year, so I am trying to wrap my head around being pregnant until next week. OYE!

[ICURNMama]

[QUOTE=OkiMom;12538750]ICURN- They tried to say something similar with DD. I went in and she wasn't engagaed at all, not dilated or effaced. I was 39 weeks 4 days and the doctor told me there was no way I was going to go into labor that I should just get myself ready to be induced. She set up the induction date for two weeks from then. I had her on her due date after only 16 hours worth of labor (I say only because I had it in my mind that I would be in labor for days because of what the doctor had told me).QUOTE]


Thanks so much for your encouraging words. After a little crying and some time I've got a little better perspective on things I think. Love these pregnancy hormones! I'm going to keep walking and try some things like squats and bouncing on the birth ball to try to help little one into position but mostly I'm going to try not to worry too much. I think part of the problem was that it just felt like a blindside. My Dr. is mainstream but has been so respectful and willing to work with me up to this point. She had been up all night with another delivery so maybe she just wasn't at her best...

[bax]

38+5 here. I feel for all of you!

I've been such a crap mom to my 26 mo lately--videos and lots of time sitting in the car going to the midwives (an hour drive each way), the chiro 3x/wk (1/2h drive each way), etc. i've totally skipped out on all my play groups/parenting groups for weeks. we go to the park, like, once a week (maybe) and she runs from the car yelling "other kids other kids!" so happy to be among them, and i feel so guilty. and then I realize--is it only going to get worse once we have the baby? How will I ever manage to meet everyone's needs?!

Meanwhile, everything hurts and I'm enormous. I have to get out of bed to pee, like, 3-4x/night, and I can barely wrench myself up and out of my nest of pillows. I've been ignoring everyone on email for weeks. And poor DH comes home from his long day (full work day plus 3h of commuting), and I just collapse and he cleans up from dinner and does bedtime and everything.

One thing I realized after reading a lot of your posts is that I'm really grateful my midwife doesn't do internal checks! (Or at least hasn't yet...) If the checks are depressing, could you just ask your doctors not to tell you? And yeah, everything I've heard says that second-time (and later) babies often engage at the start of labor, so I wouldn't worry about that yet, anyone!