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brain is willing but that's all

post #1 of 21
Thread Starter 
Please don't get too descriptive- I don't want this thread to be pulled.

My brain is willing (and even wanting) to get back into the "saddle" with DH again. My body is not cooperating. I laid in bed crying and apologizing the other night because I just had no physical desire to DTD with him. I know it has to be my body and hormones... And he just says, "Honey, don't cry- it's ok! Please stop crying. I'm okay. It's okay!"

Sunday afternoon, I was all happy and really enjoying kissing him in the kitchen while we made lunch. Then after lunch, I just crashed. That would be the night I was crying. I had been so hopeful that finally we'd get through this dry patch and then..... MUTINY!!! My body refused to cooperate.

Am I alone? I need some help! I enjoy snuggling, and I enjoy connecting with my husband. I am just ready for this body to get back into the swing of things. It's my first baby. Does it get better?

(She mutters in frustration under her breath)
post #2 of 21
It gets better. Definitely. Around 2nd trimester my libido came back with a vengence.

I have no desire right now, either. So... we snuggle and know that it's not always going to be this... inactive.
post #3 of 21
Yes, it gets better. This is my 2nd pregnancy and DH has already said he's very much looking forward to the 2nd trimester again

I've been having some wonderful dreams and we do snuggle, but nothing else for now.
post #4 of 21
Thread Starter 
At this point, I'd settle for dreams. :

It does help though, to know...
post #5 of 21
Just give it a few more weeks. You'll be back in the saddle before you know it.
post #6 of 21
We're managing when I feel OK enough. Usually that's in the morning so mostly on the weekends. I find that both of us need way more cuddling than usual - I think it's the stress and worry - so we cuddle and touch a lot more than usual to help fill that void. I think it puts me more in the mood.

Oh, and we've found that my natural lubrication is thinner than usual and I'm very sensitive - bad combo. Proceed slowly and things seem to work OK.
post #7 of 21
You're not the only one.

It's great that your DH is so understanding though. Just give it time.
post #8 of 21

Seriously - thats the only time I'm able to do it right now. For the last week i have fallen asleep between 9:15 and 9:30. By the end of the day DTD is the LAST thing i have the energy for.
post #9 of 21
I am right there with you ladies! I sometimes think I am in the mood, but then I am so tired with little energy that I can't seem to get myself to actually do anything. My poor DH has been waiting for over a week now and I feel AWFUL!! I think he semi understands, but I know he would like to have some fun.

I am looking forward to feeling semi-normal again in the 2nd trimester. I am sure this will heat things up some!!

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone!
post #10 of 21
I'm not feelin' it either. Last time we dtd, it was so uncomfortable, that I just don't even want to go there again.
post #11 of 21
Oh I am right there with you. I am basically like, Don't touch me. He loves my big giant knockers and has told me they feel like "those stress balls they give out at conferences." I am like, get your paws off! Pain!

Listen. I have GOT to admit that I do enjoy seeing him beg! hahahaah!

It is so nice to hear about this cougar 2nd trimester effect.
post #12 of 21
I think DH is resigned to not getting any for the whole 9 months. He doesn't even ask
In fact, the only action that we've had since the bfp, I've initiated, and I really don't have the energy. I could probably go along for the ride so to speak if dh got things going, but if I'm going to have to start anything, sleep takes priority! It's good to hear that it should change in another month or so!
post #13 of 21
Ugh. LAST thing on my mind. Poor hubby got shut off when the morning sickness started and hasn't been turned back on yet. He's hinted that it would be nice but he knows that it's hard to feel sexy when you're constipated, sick to your stomach and ridiculously tired . . .

Either way though, things always pick up again when I'm feeling better so the dry spell is only temporary.

post #14 of 21
I agree with those who've said to try sex at a time when your body is not craving sleep or rest. Mornings may be better for your libido. Also, the 2nd trimester really does bring those urges to the fore. Believe me! It'll get better. You'll see.
post #15 of 21
By the 2nd tri he'll be begging you.....to leave him alone!
post #16 of 21
DH has it better this time around. The last 2 pregnancies were one big dry spell, plus postpardum, then he deployed for 7 months so was over a year for my poor man LOL! I think it came down to 16 mo of nothing LOL.

This time is better, I'm really trying to communicate w/him about what is on/off limits (giant breasts, no touchie LOL) and it seems to be going ok.

I hope it gets better with time. It usually does, 2nd trimester is better all around!
post #17 of 21
Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it doesn't always get better. My first pregnancy I was a nympho from the second tri on (first tri I was super bitch and didn't even want to be around my x-dh.) My last pregnancy I seriously could have gone the whole 9 months without sex. I just no interest what so ever. I "played along" at least once a week b/c I felt bad for my DP, but I wasn't really into it. So far this pregnancy I'm ok with snuggling and kissing but as soon as we actually move to having sex I totally lose interest. I'm hoping this will get better in the next few weeks.

So, you're definitely not alone, but it might not change anytime soon. Just make sure that when you are in the mood-you make it good
post #18 of 21
I'm not in your DDC, but my EDD is 5/28 so I could be in the end.... I will say that a little help in the lubricant department is a wonderful thing since it does get a lot drier especially in the beginning. I also learned the first time around that there were other things I could do for him that didn't require much energy expenditure on my part but left him happy. You should bounce back sometime after the first trimester, but some women don't. A friend of mine didn't and just went in to her GYN for some hormone testing to see if something was a little off balance. Take it slow and make sure your DH/partner knows how you feel.
post #19 of 21
ditto on 2nd (and 3rd for me!) trimesters, and super big ditto on MORNINGS! There is no way I'm in the mood when I'm tired and worn out right before bed!
post #20 of 21
Morning sex.....wow! Unless he was happy with someone trying hard not to vomit it would never work. The 2nd and 3rd trimester are better for me!
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