Leaving My UnVaxed Daughter With In-Laws, Need Some Advice In Case of Emergency

[BeingMe]

I need some advice. I am leaving my 2.5 year old with her inlaws so we can celebrate our anniversary. They know she isn't vaxed and have never confronted me on the issue. However, they are very "do what the doctor says" type of people and more into over the counter drugs instead of time and holistic care. So I worry about the rare chance that something happens and she has to go to the hospital and they ask her about her vax status then try to tell my in-laws she needs the vaxs or just tries to vax her without telling them.
**What can I type up to give to my inlaws for them to read and take with them in case something happens? I always leave the emergency book by Janet Zand, but I wonder what else I can leave them with?
**Also, what would be good remedies that they might use for things that don't require an emergency visit but that they may try to treat with OTC drugs?

[MayBaby2007]

I initially had this fear when I had to leave dd to go to work. Mom/gramma are both "the doctors are GODS and you should listen to them" type of people. I was honestly terrified that they would fake an "emergency" just to take her to the hospital to get vaxed. Realistic? Eh. But...I do NOT want my daughter vaxed--that was a huge fear.

As her parents, YOU are the only one(s) that have any rights to medical decisions. I would type up a letter that states that. Type that you give your IL's have permission to treat for emergencies but under NO circumstances should your daughter ever be given a vaccination. NO circumstances.

Type up what your state (federal?) law says about non-legal guardians making medical desisions and what the punishment under law is for not abiding by that. I know you can't reverse a vaccination--but I would certainly look into what laws are on your side of someone would mistakenly give your dd a vax. If nothng else, to instill extreme fear into them (medical community and/or IL's) so they will. not. do it.

My mom would be the one to do this. She loved dragging me to the doctor. I made it very clear to her (and...well...we sort of hate each other so I was more rough with her ) that she would be put in jail if she EVER took my daughter to a doctor and had any medical treatments done (unless extreme emergency). My mom is evil enough to pull some crap like this (but she's never alone with my dd...still a non-vaxing mama has to worry!). I honestly don't know if it could be a criminal matter--but I let her believe it could be.

That's the only thing I can think of to allow one's peace of mind. *shrugs*

(My motto for gramma/mom is "if you don't need an ambulance, it's not an emergency and dd should not go to the doctor". I trust mom/gramma with DD...but NOT with the medical community).

[peainthepod]

I think it depends on the laws in your state. I believe that in some places, leaving your child with designated caregivers automatically gives them in loco parentis legal rights to make decisions regarding your child in a medical emergency in the event that you can't be reached. But I am not a lawyer so it would be best to call one and ask.

Typing up a letter is a great idea; just make sure they know to bring it with them if, heaven forbid, they have to go to the ER.

[CanidFL]

What about them calling you if anything happened? If they called you if something happened you would have time to get to the hospital and once on the phone tell them that are not to VAX or give any treatment until you arrive.

My daycare provider does not know DS’s vax status. I told her in case of emergency she is to call me immediately and have the ambulance take DS to the hospital that I designated. It’s 5 min from my work. I also told her that she is not to give him any type of medication without my consent. Would that do or do you really need to type something up? I’m just worried that they will get annoyed with that and do something just to tick you off.

[japonica]

I agree with the PP.

I've told my ILs (and my DH) to 1) call me before they leave for the hospital or before the ambulance leaves so I can meet them there and 2) tell the hospital staff that they are NOT allowed to administer ANY vaccines until I get there (knowing most hospitals they'd probably try and give my DCs a tetanus booster instead of the immunoglobulin for a puncture wound...sheesh).

[BeingMe]

I'm in CA. I have been trying to search the laws but can't seem to find the right article. Any advice on how to search?

[Gitti]

In case of an emergency they have to call YOU.

I would not settle for anything else. And of course your dh has to make that clear to them also.

That's all there is to it, imo.

[In Exile]

Tell anyone who gives your child a vaccine without your consent, will get a great lawsuit for "assault with a deadly weapon"- that will make anyone think about it. Just those words.

That is one reason I never told my inlaws (not that I think they would drag my child to get a vax, I just don't want to get into debates, period) and never explicitely told my parents. I don't need the headache. My parents refuse to educate themselves on the subject-and I don't debate with someone who refuses to educates themselve.

I would type up a letter to be in the diaperbag. And if you're really afraid of that I would not leave my child with someone where that fear is very real. I don't plan on leaving my DS somewhere until he can verbally say NO and tell me about those things.

I hate having to be silent and find avenues to avoid the topic because I don't want to be one of those people that get's harassed, let's say my neighbors are just waiting to "get me".

[chrissy18966]

I have so much to learn about all of this...good post!

[amnda527]

I agree with one of the pp who said that if you have this fear, then maybe you should reconsider leaving your child with them. I'm not sure I understand the letter though. Couldn't they just "forget" the letter on their way out the door if there is a lot of chaos, which there usually is if there is an extreme emergency going on?

[lilabet]

Yeah, I'm afraid I don't get the point of the letter - why would they take something with them that says they don't have complete authority?
I'd instill the fear of god into them personally. Tell them she is your child, your decisions, and they aren't to go against that. I'm in the UK and not 100% sure but I don't think a caregiver has much say in this stuff anyway.