Sometimes, like when I'm 40+2 pg and trying to buy the upteenmillionth baby shower gift for yet another friend, I do judge her. Which is silly, it's completely hypocritical, and I feel downright petty when I realize what I'm doing. But sometimes I still feel justified, even after I chastise myself. I mean, come on. I'm having my first baby, she's having her first baby just 7 weeks after me, I feel a little like I'm entitled.
Obviously I have strong ideas of what I want for my child, and have been very careful about everything little thing relating to this child. I've been careful with diet, fought battles to with my insurance to get coverage for the prenatal and birth support I feel is best, done copious amounts of reading and fastidiously screened every book, every rattle, everything that has come into my home, to ensure that they are all what I consider safe and nontoxic. That means that I bypassed big store registries and made my own, and as a result I have few "things" for the baby, including ONE plastic toy, a few wooden toys, and what are to me "the basics". I've been honest with people about how I feel about plastics and etc, and a surprising number of people have been overwhelmingly supportive.
So when I go into a store to buy a gift off of a baby registry, I already have strong opinions on every item I see.
I dunno, I know this person, and I was torn between getting her what she wants, and getting her what I know she needs, ykwim? I found myself getting more annoyed every minute that I looked at her registry. This is her first baby and they just bought a fixer-upper house, so I know she doesnt have a lot of spare $$. And to fill one's registry with toys and to have so few practical things on hand...
Maybe I've just become the junk nazi ever since we crammed ourselves into this one bedroom, but darn it I DON'T WANT A BUNCH OF PLASTIC JUNK. I have no place to put it, and quite frankly, I feel like a lot of that stuff is unhealthy and possibly dangerous.
Then I remind myself that it's not about ME, it's about my friend.
But I have to say I still didn't get her what she asked for. My conscience would not allow it. Instead I got her astoundingly boring things like nipple cream and breast pads, to go with the lactation tea and burp cloth I made.
I want to just let it go now, but I dunno, something in me just feels like I'm better than my friend, and I hate that self-righteous part of me. I don't want to feel this way.
Obviously I have strong ideas of what I want for my child, and have been very careful about everything little thing relating to this child. I've been careful with diet, fought battles to with my insurance to get coverage for the prenatal and birth support I feel is best, done copious amounts of reading and fastidiously screened every book, every rattle, everything that has come into my home, to ensure that they are all what I consider safe and nontoxic. That means that I bypassed big store registries and made my own, and as a result I have few "things" for the baby, including ONE plastic toy, a few wooden toys, and what are to me "the basics". I've been honest with people about how I feel about plastics and etc, and a surprising number of people have been overwhelmingly supportive.
So when I go into a store to buy a gift off of a baby registry, I already have strong opinions on every item I see.
I dunno, I know this person, and I was torn between getting her what she wants, and getting her what I know she needs, ykwim? I found myself getting more annoyed every minute that I looked at her registry. This is her first baby and they just bought a fixer-upper house, so I know she doesnt have a lot of spare $$. And to fill one's registry with toys and to have so few practical things on hand...
Maybe I've just become the junk nazi ever since we crammed ourselves into this one bedroom, but darn it I DON'T WANT A BUNCH OF PLASTIC JUNK. I have no place to put it, and quite frankly, I feel like a lot of that stuff is unhealthy and possibly dangerous.Then I remind myself that it's not about ME, it's about my friend.
But I have to say I still didn't get her what she asked for. My conscience would not allow it. Instead I got her astoundingly boring things like nipple cream and breast pads, to go with the lactation tea and burp cloth I made.
I want to just let it go now, but I dunno, something in me just feels like I'm better than my friend, and I hate that self-righteous part of me. I don't want to feel this way.
And when she says as much to you, try not to laugh to loud.......
I only say that because it's happened to me with each of my babies. You become more flexible and understanding that you would have imagine. I went out Monday in fact and bought a baby swing. Something *I* didn't see the need for a few months ago... no plastic arms for my baby. Well, after the first few times I had to do things like WIPE myself holding my sweet baby, I decided it might be a good idea to have something like that. I'm still hoping to avoid plastic toys all together but I'm glad to have my craigslist swing when I 
My friend has one and she said that it saved her from having to wash her car seat cushions after poo-explosions. Some silly things are good sometimes I guess.
It is just my choice not to buy it for them.
