Originally Posted by intentionalmama
I've just read through this thread and what comes up for me is how children are not respected in society. As adults, I can not imagine having to all go for a pee break at the same time. Yes, there may be set breaks at work - but if you have to go at another time - this is usually very possible. But it seems with young children they have to wait until an authority figure tells them it is ok. I understand it is the school system and for safety reasons they can't just allow kids to go whenever, but still to expect children to "obey" this regulation because they are kids is not giving them the same respect that we would all want. I imagine it could be kind of stressful if a child feels they have to go, after the alloted time. If there was someone else in the class room, a helper, who could take the child - I think this would be a good thing.
And instead of scolding the mother - which is sort of the way I see it - as the incident was brought up over and over and over again - to me it would have been much better if they could have had a discussion and tried to figure out a way in which the mother would have felt they cared about not only the playground but also her child. ie) not speaking in such a shameful manner, brainstorming with her what would work,showing empathy for her, her child, and the school playground and children - basically treating her with respect. I guess as I write - I think that the way they treated her was not respectful. That would really bother me as I would want my child to be a place that is able to show empathy and not just judgment.
I think they did come up with a solution, on how she can bring him back into the school to use the facility there, they take the time to buzz her back in, etc which is more helpful than saying, don't let him do that and not offering to let her back in, so she could either rush him home asap or bring a recepticle. I don't think there would have been enough options to brainstorm, and I'd fell a little patronized if a person did that to me.
The reason that the kids have set breaks is because of security, and they have a harder time holding it while at school, they can't hold it all day, but the teacher can't leave all the other students to follow one to the bathroom, and that child can't go on their own. It's not ideal, but there isn't an alternative.