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I got in trouble for DS going "potty" outside school - Page 2

post #21 of 173
Um, ew. Peeing on the playground is not cool and I agree that you should take your child to the potty before going out to the playground. And yes the school could do that to, but since they won't, you should.
post #22 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by phatchristy View Post
We have certain rules here in the house. Before we go out somewhere everyone uses the bathroom and also before stories and bedtime at night everyone uses the potty. I don't know about the 'asking them if they have to go' thing. It may be that it just needs to be a new rule to use it as he has shown you pretty consistently he needs to go at that time. Potty before play in the park outside may need to be the new rule.
Yep, we do that too. I learned pretty quickly that by asking "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" it almost always got a "no" in response. Now I say "We're getting ready to leave. Time for everyone to try to go to the bathroom." You can't make them go, but you *can* not do the fun thing until they try.

Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
I agree with this, and sorry, I side with the school. Telling him "not to do it next time" every single repeated time he does it, is not "handling it" at all. It's not like he did it once and you told him not to and made sure to take him to the restroom before the playground in the future. That would be "handling it," and I'd agree with you that they should stop harrassing you about 1 incident. You're saying though, that he does it repeatedly and every time you tell him, after he's started, not to do that. I think you need to make sure he pees before he goes to the playground, or take him home where he can pee in your yard. Or pull him out of school if its that big a deal to you, or bring a portable potty. Its not about if you think pee is sterile, its about societal rules and potentially laws. On school grounds, its entirely possible that you're breaking the law.
: I agree with this.

Also, I disagree in your OP that it's because "boys will be boys". I'm the mom of four boys and none of them have ever peed outside. I believe the toilet is the appropriate place to go to the bathroom, for a potty trained child and excluding accidents, of course. If you want to let him pee outside at your house, more power to you, but I think you should be respectful of other people in public when it comes to urinating. It's not a "need" of a child to pee outdoors (I would guess he simply wants to go play right away and not make a pesky trip to the restroom) and there's no harm in teaching and enforcing rules that others have set for their property.
post #23 of 173
We live in the rural part of Northern CA and kids always pee on the tree at playgroup - now I teach preschool and the kids I know who need reminders get them and I take them but if a kid peed outside (which even the girls do here) - it wouldn't be a big deal - it's sterile!!!! Now - if you were to send your child with no coat when it's snowing (today) and send a sugar laden snack and lunch - I would maybe say something - but peeing outside - come on!
post #24 of 173
I would have been kicked out of that school a loooong time ago! I have 3 boys (6, 5, 4) and they pee outside all the time.

Shoot...dd potty trained in Oregon...she pees the grass herself and gets a round of applause for doing so It was the norm there. Tons of babies EC'ing in the grass! At parks and outings..find a place away from other where no one is and pee. I loved living in Oregon

They do this here (east coast) now and I know it's not the norm. We don't care what other adults think. We will try to find a potty first (if they don't whip it out and go right after we get out of the car...) and for some reason there are not many public restrooms here So they go outside. Dd does too.
post #25 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
I agree with this, and sorry, I side with the school. Telling him "not to do it next time" every single repeated time he does it, is not "handling it" at all. It's not like he did it once and you told him not to and made sure to take him to the restroom before the playground in the future. That would be "handling it," and I'd agree with you that they should stop harrassing you about 1 incident. You're saying though, that he does it repeatedly and every time you tell him, after he's started, not to do that. I think you need to make sure he pees before he goes to the playground, or take him home where he can pee in your yard. Or pull him out of school if its that big a deal to you, or bring a portable potty. Its not about if you think pee is sterile, its about societal rules and potentially laws. On school grounds, its entirely possible that you're breaking the law.
:

Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemyfamily6 View Post
Yep, we do that too. I learned pretty quickly that by asking "Do you need to go to the bathroom?" it almost always got a "no" in response. Now I say "We're getting ready to leave. Time for everyone to try to go to the bathroom." You can't make them go, but you *can* not do the fun thing until they try.



: I agree with this.

Also, I disagree in your OP that it's because "boys will be boys". I'm the mom of four boys and none of them have ever peed outside. I believe the toilet is the appropriate place to go to the bathroom, for a potty trained child and excluding accidents, of course. If you want to let him pee outside at your house, more power to you, but I think you should be respectful of other people in public when it comes to urinating. It's not a "need" of a child to pee outdoors (I would guess he simply wants to go play right away and not make a pesky trip to the restroom) and there's no harm in teaching and enforcing rules that others have set for their property.
:
post #26 of 173
It's only sterile as it leaves the body, then it's an ideal medium for bacterial growth, YUCK
post #27 of 173
Peeing outside is not a big deal (okay, maybe this is because I live in a rural area...)

BUT the school is perfectly within their rights to insist that kids not pee outside on school property.

The school should have some degree of kindness/empathy and take any one of the OP's several suggestions about how to help with more potty time.

BUT, since they evidently don't, the OP should go through the whole rigaramole of getting back into the building and using the bathroom before the kid gets to go to the playground at all.
post #28 of 173
I wanted to add:

I think it's nice that you're allowed to stay and play. Here it's closed campus. You have to leave if your classes are over. The school becomes public/park 30min after classes/events are over. Then and only then can the public, or kids that are out of school for the day, play on the playground.
post #29 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
I wanted to add:

I think it's nice that you're allowed to stay and play. Here it's closed campus. You have to leave if your classes are over. The school becomes public/park 30min after classes/events are over. Then and only then can the public, or kids that are out of school for the day, play on the playground.
Ours are shut after school hours, you cannot stay and play, and they don't re-open either. I suspect behavior just like the OP was taking place, and rough housing, and they were probably worried about property damage, clean up, and liability. So now no one can use it.
post #30 of 173
haaa haaa heee heee I love some of these reponses!!!!!

I live in Beijing, China, and we do this ALL the time here--Everyone does--but kids especially!

If it's grass, it's fair game! It evaporates and sinks in SO quickly...
post #31 of 173
If he has done this a few times why don't you make sure to stop at the washroom on the way out of the building at the end of his day there.

It would be unrealistic to expect the teacher to have every student go to the washroom at the end of each day since the program only lasts for 2 1/2 hours.
post #32 of 173
I'm the mom of an almost 5-yo boy who has never peed outside. And I don't like "boys will be boys" to explain/excuse things like this, anymore than I like it used to explain/excuse violent or aggressive play. Making sure your child has stopped to go to the bathroom if they haven't in a while (whether or not they think they have to), before you go somewhere where you know there will not be bathroom access in a public space, is not asking much, IMO.

I would agree though that the school could make it easier on you to get him to the bathroom before playing outside. I'd try to push that angle were I you.

I agree with the PP who said that going to the bathroom is just a built in part of activity transitions for us, for ALL of us, so it's not a matter of asking, it's just what gets done. I also don't get why peeing outside is a "need"...or even fun. .
post #33 of 173
Ok, I don't have a problem so much with the pee itself (as long as it's not wear other kids play), but that it not your property and I do think that he needs to be taught to respect it if that's the rules. I really don't think it's too much to ask that he makes a bathroom trip before going to play.

I do think they were out of line lecturing you, but I don't think a polite explaining of the rules was out of line. If they were rude with you, that does need to be dealt with along with the fact that they may not be giving these kids frequent enough bathroom breaks.
post #34 of 173
I agree with the others who have said the school may not have handled it well, but they are within their rights to ask you not to let DS pee on the grounds. That seems like a pretty reasonable request to me. Especially since toilets are readily available.
post #35 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovemyfamily6 View Post
Also, I disagree in your OP that it's because "boys will be boys". I'm the mom of four boys and none of them have ever peed outside.
I believe you.
post #36 of 173
As a mom who has done the diaper free baby thing, I have had my kids pee outside. But it was when they were babies and for some reason that seemed ok. Even when my friend had her baby poop behind a tree in a park (it was breast milk poop) that seemed ok too. But for some reason as kids get older it seems less hygenic. I would feel totally grossed out by a 4y.o. pooping behind a tree.

And this did happen when we were at a friends house and their 4y.o. ds pooped in their yard. My dd came running and almost stepped in it. Gross.

They also came over to our house and their 4y.o. ds peed off my deck. I was grossed out. It is natural but... it was in my yard and I had problems with that.

The school has to regulate bathroom visits. Or else they will have a school yard that filled with excrement. One rule fits all kinda thing.
post #37 of 173
I have not read all the responses and maybe I am missing something here but why doesn't the school staff have a bathroom break for the kids right before they go outside. That seems pretty obvious to me. And secondly if they are letting you back in the school to take him to the potty it seems silly that they won't let you in the school prior to that to take him to the potty. FWIW I would never have my child at a school or daycare that didn't let me come in the school to get my child whenever I want. That just seems weird to me.
post #38 of 173
i admit i haven't read all the replies, but i would suggest a potty break no earlier than 20 minutes before schoo llets out........ i'm sure there are other kids who could use one last potty break before heading out the door
post #39 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
How about by making sure that he uses the restroom before going out to the playground for an hour?
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.... or something to that effect anyway.
post #40 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by straighthaircurly View Post
I have not read all the responses and maybe I am missing something here but why doesn't the school staff have a bathroom break for the kids right before they go outside. That seems pretty obvious to me. And secondly if they are letting you back in the school to take him to the potty it seems silly that they won't let you in the school prior to that to take him to the potty. FWIW I would never have my child at a school or daycare that didn't let me come in the school to get my child whenever I want. That just seems weird to me.
That's what I'm saying. They seem to set him up for failure. Then they dress mom down several times? I would be annoyed as all heck, to put it mildly.

They seem unnecessarily authoritarian for my taste. Nonsense rules for the sake of having rules. Makes no sense.
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