I got in trouble for DS going "potty" outside school - Page 3

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by straighthaircurly

FWIW I would never have my child at a school or daycare that didn't let me come in the school to get my child whenever I want. That just seems weird to me.

Not so much... They need to have a way of doing things where it comes to children being picked up that makes it as hard as possible for a stranger to walk in to a school yard and walk out with a child that's not theirs.

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by straighthaircurly

I have not read all the responses and maybe I am missing something here but why doesn't the school staff have a bathroom break for the kids right before they go outside.

When the kids leave to go outside they are finished for the day, this isn't a scheduled break like recess. I figured that since school is only 2 1/2 hours that a bathroom break for the whole class (depending on the number of kids in the class) could take a fair amount of time and 2 1/2 hours isn't long as it is.

[*LoveBugMama*]

I`m sorry you felt harassed.


Personally, I have no problem with small kids peeing outside. But, I feel there is a difference between peeing in the woods/outside in your own garden and on the playground outside school. ANd I totally understand that a school would like to have rules about kids not peeing outside. What I think is a little wrong, is that they don`t seem to follow that rule up with pottybreaks before going outside, with having a toilet nearby etc.

You said that you counld`t do more than telling him that it`S not ok. I ofcourse haven`t been in your exact situation, so I totally believe you did the best you could But, what about stopping him BEFORE he starts to go? Does he not tell you that he needs to be? Does he not stand in a place where you can see him starting to pull down his pants?

I hope the school stops lecturing you about this, and starts providing more regular pottybraks before going out instead.

[octobermom]

Humm I only have one girl so maybe I'm not fully understanding but..
THe question doesn't seem to be (to me) is it weird boys pee outside. IMHO well no
I also think most will agree the school went a bit overboard in how they talked to you
Others will alos agree that it would be nice if the school took them potty before going outside.... but
The school rule isn't a horrible one, HAving you take him back inside to potty doesn't seem unreasonable.

FWIW when mine was in preschool (about 3 hours) when the students first arrived they did potty time many including my DD were not potty trained yet. WHen it was time to go the teacher woud ask who needs to go potty and the assistant would take those the rest would head outside. Kids were also allowed free acess through the day. Accidents of course still happened but "deleberate" outside peeing didn't (or was stopped quickly)

Deanna

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by transformed

How, by holding his penis between your fingers so it doesn't come out? C'mon. You cannot control other peoples actions. Haven t we learned this, as parents yet? I sure have! We can try and manipulate them into doing whatever we tell them to, but we cant really exercise control over them. (Well not without a cage, collar and leash anyways.)

By knowing that he seems to need to do this everyday and taking him to the bathroom before hand......by instilling consequences (If you aren't going to follow the school's playground rules we have to go straight home after school. We can't stay if we don't follow the rules.)

It's actually VERY easy. I do this with 8 kids (only 2 are mine) and none of them would do this more than once or twice before I clued in and changed the routine to suit their needs.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by TCMoulton

How about by making sure that he uses the restroom before going out to the playground for an hour? Since he has done this more than once he obvoiusly needs to go to the bathroom after school. If mom just makes sure he uses the washroom before leaving the buiilding problem. Also, if you see him starting to disrobe to pee then time to grab him and run to the washroom.

She can't. "Running to the washroom" means going to the door of the school, ringing the bell, waiting for someone to come, probably checking in with the office even though an authorized school person is right there and could supervise the bathroom trip--and likely changing her son's pants and a big puddle on the school floor.

Once when the bus was stopped at the mall for a few minutes as usual, a mom asked if there'd be time to take her son, ~4 y.o, off to go pee in the bushes. The driver said "sure." All 10 women of various ages and walks of life waiting for the bus to head out smiled indulgently and there were several "poor little guy" "yeah it's tough to be young." sorts of remarks. None of us cared--not even the ones who didn't have kids yet.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink.... or something to that effect anyway.

"DS, you need to try to pee or we have to go home. It's against the rules to pee outside at school."


Unless he's JUST gone potty, there is always some in there to squeeze out.

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

She can't. "Running to the washroom" means going to the door of the school, ringing the bell, waiting for someone to come, probably checking in with the office even though an authorized school person is right there and could supervise the bathroom trip--and likely changing her son's pants and a big puddle on the school floor.

.

Then it sounds like they need to go home. That is a VERY logical consequence of being unable to follow the school's playground rules. The school could suspend him for it.

[sapphire_chan]

Originally Posted by moondiapers

Then it sounds like they need to go home. That is a VERY logical consequence of being unable to follow the school's playground rules. The school could suspend him for it.

Right, they need to follow the schools' rules and there have been some excellent suggestions on how to do so. I was just pointing out that the blithe "just take him to the bathroom" suggestions are ignoring the realities of the situation.

(And the teacher was still a UAV.)

[TCMoulton]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

She can't. "Running to the washroom" means going to the door of the school, ringing the bell, waiting for someone to come, probably checking in with the office even though an authorized school person is right there and could supervise the bathroom trip--and likely changing her son's pants and a big puddle on the school floor.

She can, she just chooses not to due to the hassle involved. Since this has been a repeated problem he either needs to go to the bathroom immediately at the end of the day, even if that does mean he has to walk to the main entrance with mom to be buzzed into the building or he needs to understand that if the acidents continue to happen that they will have to go home right after school because going to the bathroom is not allowed.

[MusicianDad]

Originally Posted by moondiapers

"DS, you need to try to pee or we have to go home. It's against the rules to pee outside at school."


Unless he's JUST gone potty, there is always some in there to squeeze out.

Um, you can talk all you want, but unless you strap him to the potty until he can't hold it anymore, you can't force a child to go...

[OakBerry]

Originally Posted by TCMoulton

How about by making sure that he uses the restroom before going out to the playground for an hour? Since he has done this more than once he obvoiusly needs to go to the bathroom after school. If mom just makes sure he uses the washroom before leaving the buiilding problem. Also, if you see him starting to disrobe to pee then time to grab him and run to the washroom. Regardless, since the school has told her that peeing on the playground is not acceptable she either needs to get him to go before playing or needs to leave earleir to prevent further accidents.

I have 2 daughters (and yes, girls pee as regularly as boys do) and neither have ever peed on the playground because we couldn't make it to the bathroom.

I agree with this. At 4 my ds would always deny having to pee. I stopped asking, and simply led him to the bathroom and told him we would be able to continue our mission once he was done.

I also carried a rubbermaid one liter bottle with a tight lid in the car (still do) for pee emergencies. That way if he has to pee we can just go to the car and nobody is the wiser. The only problem is if I forget to clean it out..

[mmace]

Maybe I missed it, but I am picturing your son at Pre-K at a public elementary school. Is that right? (I'm thinking this way because of the school hours, multiple teachers, principal and assistant principal, mention of their being a "main office" and a gym, dismissal procedures...)

Anyway, if that is the case - here's my thought - - - yes, a four year old Pre-K student peeing outside isn't all that big a deal to most people on here. But what about the six year old first grader? The ten year old fourth grader? Where should the line be drawn?

Again, I am basing my reply on this being an elementary school with a Pre-K program, if I'm wrong, feel free to ignore my reply!

[moondiapers]

Originally Posted by MusicianDad

Um, you can talk all you want, but unless you strap him to the potty until he can't hold it anymore, you can't force a child to go...

No, but he's old enough to understand that refusing to go potty means going home instead of playing.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

Originally Posted by moondiapers

No, but he's old enough to understand that refusing to go potty means going home instead of playing.

I think I would modify this to refusing to try, but otherwise I think its the right response.

The school over-reacted in this case, yes. And any further comments should be answered with "Please, I've already discussed this with X" and moving on.

But the rule is reasonable. Even if it weren't, this is private property and we still have to follow rules even if we don't agree with them. The solution is clearly in preventing the child from needing to pee on the tree. That means finding a proactive solution, the most obvious of which is to require the child to try to pee before playing. And if child still uses tree rather than asking for the restroom, then playground play is should be over for the day and possibly for the next day as well.

[bright_eyes]

Originally Posted by ctdoula

Honestly, I think that's pretty icky, and I really wouldn't want to play in a playground where kids are peeing here & there. And I'd about the least germ phobic person around. I used to keep a toddler potty in my car for such emergencies. Maybe you could put one in the trunk.

I hope this doesn't seem like a silly question, but where do you put the pee, once they've gone in the potty that you keep in your car???

[NettleTea]

Originally Posted by mattysmomma

Ok, I'm sure I'm overreacting

Sounds to me like it is them doing the "overreacting", not you.

[Aubergine68]

Originally Posted by bright_eyes

I hope this doesn't seem like a silly question, but where do you put the pee, once they've gone in the potty that you keep in your car???

I do this too. I dump the pee or poop and any dirty wipes in the protected garbage can, the same one that I see moms using for diapers, dogwalkers using for bags of dog poop, etc.

[bigeyes]

Originally Posted by bright_eyes

I hope this doesn't seem like a silly question, but where do you put the pee, once they've gone in the potty that you keep in your car???

I'd probably go water a tree with it, but then you'd be in trouble all over again.

(you take it home and dump it in the toilet )

[MusicianDad]

Urine makes a good fertalizer... They should be thanking him for taking such good care of the tree!

My opinion is that if they make it incredibly difficult and risky for a young child to use the bathroom (and having to wait with a full bladder to be let in is just asking for an accident, he'll probably end up going out side anyway only not behind a tree), they really can't expect every student to beable to make it inside in time.