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I got in trouble for DS going "potty" outside school - Page 4

post #61 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
My opinion is that if they make it incredibly difficult and risky for a young child to use the bathroom (and having to wait with a full bladder to be let in is just asking for an accident, he'll probably end up going out side anyway only not behind a tree), they really can't expect every student to beable to make it inside in time.
What exactly is difficult and risky about the mom walking the child to the office door to be let in? I have found that little kids will generally go at least a little when sat on the potty. If going into the building is too much of a hassle and if it so risky to the child to wait for a few minutes with a full bladder then maybe he should be taken home after school until he is better able to let his mom know when he has to go to the bathroom.

The bottom line is that the school has stated that they do not want children going to the bathroom on the playground and they have that right to make such a rule. The OP really has 2 choices, take her child into the building every day after picking him up to take him to the bathroom so that he can play without worry after school or teach the child that if he indeed does go to the bathroom outside on the playground again that the result will be that they leave immediately for home with trips to the playground restricted in the future until he is able to understand that the playground is not an acceptable washroom.
post #62 of 173
I think I'd really just work the teachers to let you in the school by his room to take him to the bathroom near their class.

"Hi teacher, I was wondering since X needs to go to the bathroom so often while we're on the playground after school, can I just pick him up at the door and then scoot in to the bathroom with him so we don't have to walk all the way around the building and have to do the sign in process? I'd really appreciate it." Said with a dazzling smile. - You're not asking to pick him up in a different spot, you're just asking to get him at the door, walk back in to the bathroom, and then walk back out, together. I'd try for that, personally. If not that, then I'd get a portable potty for my car, or I'd walk around the school and take him to the bathroom, every time.
post #63 of 173
We also ec'ed part time and I work outdoors, so dd and I have no problems using trees as potties.

That said, I choose a place that people aren't going to be touching in the near future. Even if pee is sterile, I just don't want to think about people touching other peoples' pee all of the time. A playground is a place that people will likely touch.

I'd totally do the "pee in a bottle" as backup. And try to take him to the washroom after class, even if it's a hassle. I'd also try to get the teachers to take the kids on a bathroom break before they go. I know my dd would do poorly in that situation because like many preschoolers, she tends to hold it until the last minute...and suffered a UTI because of it. So we are focusing on NOT holding it.

One trick I've learned with her is NOT to ask if she needs to pee, but to ask her to check her body and see if she is holding it. We talk about how it is uncomfortable to hold it. I also say that I need to pee if she hasn't gone in a while, and when I head to the washroom she miraculously needs to go too.
post #64 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
My opinion is that if they make it incredibly difficult and risky for a young child to use the bathroom (and having to wait with a full bladder to be let in is just asking for an accident, he'll probably end up going out side anyway only not behind a tree), they really can't expect every student to beable to make it inside in time.
We're not talking about a kid who had an accident or two on the playgroung. We're talking about a kid who has developed a habit of peeing on the school playground. We're also not talking about a place and time where the child or the parent has a definitive right to be. It's after hours, the school can close the playground, they can oust the family, once or forever. They can probably suspend the kid. It really doesn't matter what the mother or any of you think of the school's decision or rules. There still are only 2 choices--Take the child out of school; or Follow the school's rules by changing the kids routine and habit.
post #65 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by EviesMom View Post
We're not talking about a kid who had an accident or two on the playgroung. We're talking about a kid who has developed a habit of peeing on the school playground. We're also not talking about a place and time where the child or the parent has a definitive right to be. It's after hours, the school can close the playground, they can oust the family, once or forever. They can probably suspend the kid. It really doesn't matter what the mother or any of you think of the school's decision or rules. There still are only 2 choices--Take the child out of school; or Follow the school's rules by changing the kids routine and habit.
No we're dealing with a boy who's done it "a few times before". That is hardly a habit. It's not like he'd doing it everyday, or that he only goes in the school yard. A few times tells me that theres anothing factor influencing, and my suspicion is that having to be let into the school by someone else to use the bathroom is probably a part of that... If they don't want a 4 year old to pee in the playground after hours they need to have a more direct route to the toilet. I can promise you he is not the only four year old who waits till the last minute. Any school run by someone with half a brain knows that when you gotta go, you gotta go and someone who's more recently mastered using the toilet can't wait around for someone to let them in the door.

Sorry but I do think the school is partially responsible.
post #66 of 173
But the thing is, schools now have to be super super careful, almost anal, about safety. I completely understand why they require everyone to enter by the same main doors.
post #67 of 173
I can understand that, but if there are people in there to let you in, then can't they leave that one door unlocked so they see everyone who comes in? Is their only two choices really having all the doors locked or none of the doors locked?
post #68 of 173
My oldest is hs'd now, but when she attended a ps the only way in was though the front main doors near the front office, all other doors were locked (you could open them from the inside, but not from the outside). I completely undertsand why they did it that way and I would actually have felt uncomfortable if people could just enter in the side doors at anytime.
post #69 of 173
But my understanding is in this situation, getting into the school through any door requires waiting for someone to let you in.
post #70 of 173
I'm not sure the set up of the school, but I'm sure it's for security reasons which really outweigh this, imo.
Maybe a portable potty wouldn't be a bad idea.
post #71 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Sorry but I do think the school is partially responsible.
How is the school at all responsible for something that is happening after school hours have ended for the day for this child?
post #72 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
But my understanding is in this situation, getting into the school through any door requires waiting for someone to let you in.
This is how you enter my DD's school - you ring the bell at the main door and the secrtetary buzzes you in - takes all of a few seconds to enter. If school is in session I doubt that the office would leave anyone standing there for very long.
post #73 of 173
I don't really have an opinion that hasn't already been covered in some form or another on the whole "issue" if that's the word you want to use of a four year old peeing outside.

I am really truly seriously confused though by all of the people who are truly grossed out by the thought of this. We are talking about an outside playground right? And he wasn't on equiptment, he was behind a tree right?

Seriously? I absolutely 100% guarantee there is already pee AND poop there. Dogs, cats, chipmunks, squirrils, rats, mice, rabbits, birds... (some of these might not apply due to region but you get my point).

And then you have the toddlers... the ones that leak out of their diapers (or are already diaper free but not potty learned) or who have an accident outside when they are potty learned. It's not different suddenly in terms of actual biological substance wise for it to be a 1, 2 or 3 year old and a 4 year old.

Call the discipline issue what you will... but the grossness factor on the bodily fluid that some people are displaying is way misplaced IMO. Your kids are touching worse if they are playing outside in the dirt or touching trees etc.
post #74 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
How is the school at all responsible for something that is happening after school hours have ended for the day for this child?
They won't let the parents come in first.

They apparently won't take the kids to the bathroom right before it's time to leave if they need to go, I think that's what I got from the OP.

If the OP's son needs to go, he has to wait until they all go outside, then he and mom troop back inside after everyone has exited the building.

That's just dumb. They are setting up the situation where he has to wait to go, when they could just let him go before he leaves, it seems to me. Or, if they're going to let moms come back inside anyway, why not let them in beforehand? The whole reasoning is just silly. They make him wait until he has to go, then they get upset when he has to go. :

How can they be 100% sure he can make it back inside?
post #75 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by bigeyes View Post
If the OP's son needs to go, he has to wait until they all go outside, then he and mom troop back inside after everyone has exited the building.
Where did it say in the OP's posts that her son was not allowed to go to t he bathroom while at school? I do recall her saying that the bathroom was down the hall but I have a hard time believing that the teacher does not allow students to go to the bathroom during the 2 1/2 hours that they are at school. She also stated that it was a while after they had been outside that he did this so he didn't come out of the building doing the pee pee dance like I have seen my girls do on occasion.

Once her son has left the building he is her responsibility - since he had done this a few times I think that either she needs to walk him back into the building to make sure he goes to the bathroom before going to the playground or take him home sooner. The school has made it very clear that using the playground as a washroom is unacceptable so she either has to find a way to get him to go to the bathroom before playing or risk the school saying that the playground is off limits to anyone who is not in class during the school day.
post #76 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by triscuitsmom View Post
Call the discipline issue what you will... but the grossness factor on the bodily fluid that some people are displaying is way misplaced IMO. Your kids are touching worse if they are playing outside in the dirt or touching trees etc.
Years ago i saw a news special about germs in public spaces. They had tested surfaces of grocery carts, bus seats & hold bars, taxi seats & doors, stair rails and elevator buttons, etc. Anyway, it was truly gross b'c EVERY area that was tested came back with a huge amount of fecal bacteria and a variety of other lovelies.

My sisters and I now whisper "feces" and laugh with each other whenever using public spaces and we're touching the tested spots. Soooo nasty.



Oops, forgot to address the OP! I don't have a problem with kids peeing outdoors in an emergency. Since it's a strict school policy, I'd try what pp's have said about getting them to let him use the toilet before your play session. Or change schools if you really disagree.
post #77 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by triscuitsmom View Post
Seriously? I absolutely 100% guarantee there is already pee AND poop there. Dogs, cats, chipmunks, squirrils, rats, mice, rabbits, birds... (some of these might not apply due to region but you get my point).

And then you have the toddlers... the ones that leak out of their diapers (or are already diaper free but not potty learned) or who have an accident outside when they are potty learned. It's not different suddenly in terms of actual biological substance wise for it to be a 1, 2 or 3 year old and a 4 year old.

Call the discipline issue what you will... but the grossness factor on the bodily fluid that some people are displaying is way misplaced IMO. Your kids are touching worse if they are playing outside in the dirt or touching trees etc.
Its a preschool playground. Reasonable to assume its fenced. So, no dogs. Probably not that many wild small things either -- what rabbit in its right mind would make a home in a preschool playground? Preschool, so no toddlers. So I'm not sure how much sense that argument makes.

Regardless, its completely beside the point. The school has the right to make a rule. It could be "no red underwear". Families have a choice -- follow the rule or leave or try to change the rule.
post #78 of 173
Lets see, squirrels and chipmunks and cats (notorious for using dirt areas as a litter box) can all get over a fence and last time I checked, there are plenty of preschoolers who have younger siblings, no doubt there when mommy goes to pick up her kid from school.

OK, only semi-off topic. The University I went to had a rule, no smoking with in 7.5 meters of a doorway... They had three ashtrays two of them where about 2 meters from a door. Is it my fault I have to break the rules to put out a cigarette or the schools?

The reason I ask, is because it's pretty much the same situation. They have set up a proceedure that pretty much promises that a child at some point will be caught in a situation where they have to break the rule. Because it's either pee behind a tree on the playground, or pee in their pants on the playground. As for potty breaks during the school time, I'm pretty sure they don't let a preschool wander the halls by himself, which means if the teachers don't arranged for a child or the children to be taken to the bathroom right before the end of class, the child is stuck. He has to wait until mom comes and everyone else leaves and then is let back in.
post #79 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
They have set up a proceedure that pretty much promises that a child at some point will be caught in a situation where they have to break the rule. Because it's either pee behind a tree on the playground, or pee in their pants on the playground.
The school is not responsible for what happens with the child's potty breaks once he is dismissed from school at the end of each day - at that moment responsibility for the child switches back to the mom/dad/guardian so if there is any rule breaking that takes place it is not the fault of the school but the person responsible for the child.
post #80 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
Where did it say in the OP's posts that her son was not allowed to go to t he bathroom while at school? I do recall her saying that the bathroom was down the hall but I have a hard time believing that the teacher does not allow students to go to the bathroom during the 2 1/2 hours that they are at school. She also stated that it was a while after they had been outside that he did this so he didn't come out of the building doing the pee pee dance like I have seen my girls do on occasion.
from the OP

I said, ok, but then it would make sense for me to be able to pick him up at the gym and take him to the bathroom before going outside (since once he's out he's running off to the playground). She said no,because of security reasons, he will have to be sent out by the teacher the way they always do (parents must wait outside on the sidewalk), then I would have to walk down to the main door, ring the doorbell, then they will let us in to use the bathroom....ok well, you know how it is, you ask your dc if they have to go potty, they say no, then 10min later they have to go....so basically, I guess I'd have to just drag him to the bathroom, and not ask if he has to go. Then she said she was going to talk to his teacher about it, because I asked, don't they have a designated potty time? The bathroom is all the way down the hallway from the classroom, so the teacher has to take them altogether. So tomorrow I'll probably get a 3rd lecture from his teacher.


That pretty much tells me the teacher takes the children to pee at her convenience. : It truly sounds to me like the teacher and administrators are UAVs and are getting a taste of natural consequences for trying to schedule bladder function.
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