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I got in trouble for DS going "potty" outside school - Page 5

post #81 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
The school is not responsible for what happens with the child's potty breaks once he is dismissed from school at the end of each day - at that moment responsibility for the child switches back to the mom/dad/guardian so if there is any rule breaking that takes place it is not the fault of the school but the person responsible for the child.
So the school doesn't have to take any responsability towards make sure their rules are able to be followed? Might as well make a rule your not allowed to breath and punish students for that. If there's reasonable belief that at some point a situation will arise that prevents someone from following the rule, the school needs to take steps to fix that. You can't blame the OP or her son for problems arising from the way the school operates.
post #82 of 173
I agree with the PPs that since it is school property, they can make the rules, no matter how many people think it is OK to pee outside ona regular basis (versus an unexpected or emeergency situation). OP knows that her son may have to go potty after school, based on his past behavior. It is up to her to take him in to the school to go to the potty BEFORE hitting the playground (then no worries about him holding it in while somebody unlocks the door). They are permitted to stay on the playground after class, which is nice for the parents and kids. If they want to stay, they need to respect the rules, which are reasonable. If 30 kids peed on the playground everyday, can anybody honestly say that the school would not have a sanitation issue?

If it is too much trouble for the OP to attend to her son's needs in a way that does not infringe on others, then she needs to find another solution - a bottle, a portable potty, or a playground where peeing is OK (don't think that there are any except a dog park).

Sorry folks, urine may be sterile, but that does not translate to sanitary. Have you not ever smelled an area that was frequented by urinators? Yuck! The world is not your toilet.
post #83 of 173
Urine is sterile and has been used as antiseptics and to treat verious other ailments over the centuries. Want OP to take her kid to the bathroom after school, then make it so she can take her kid to the bathroom after school instead of standing outside until everyone is gone.
post #84 of 173
Exactly. Like I said before, they set him up for failure, then they get mad about it. Silly and smacks of control for the sake of control. Not nice. :
post #85 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicianDad View Post
Urine is sterile and has been used as antiseptics and to treat verious other ailments over the centuries. Want OP to take her kid to the bathroom after school, then make it so she can take her kid to the bathroom after school instead of standing outside until everyone is gone.
Where did it say that she had to stand outside until everyone is gone?All she said was that to use the washroom she had to walk around to the main entrance and ring to be let in the school - from her own words she only has to wait until her son walks out of the building with his class before she can walk to the main entrance to use thh washroom - no mention of having to wait for everyone else to leave.

It really doesn't matter if urine is sterile or not, the school has stated on several occasions that they do not allow children to go to the bathroom on the playground.
post #86 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
Where did it say that she had to stand outside until everyone is gone?All she said was that to use the washroom she had to walk around to the main entrance and ring to be let in the school - from her own words she only has to wait until her son walks out of the building with his class before she can walk to the main entrance to use thh washroom - no mention of having to wait for everyone else to leave.

It really doesn't matter if urine is sterile or not, the school has stated on several occasions that they do not allow children to go to the bathroom on the playground.
It's a ridiculous amount of back and forth. Why? You would think they would want to make it easier for children to use the bathroom.

But then, I used to live in the SF Bay Area, where the entire city smelled like a urinal, but there were even restaurants that didn't have restrooms for customers to use! As I told the manager at a McDonalds in downtown SF one day it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out if you feed people in your restaurant and don't offer a bathroom, sooner or later somebody's gonna pi$$ in your doorway.

Yes, the OP needs to keep teaching her son. But the people at the school are kind of setting themselves up, imo. I'm sure it's much more gratifying for them to be right than it is to make it easier for these children to take care of their personal needs without being humiliated and having to jump through ridiculous hoops. Plus they get the added bonus of clucking their tongues at a young mother and feeling superior about their parenting skills. They must feel so proud.
post #87 of 173
OP stated that she has to wait for her son outside and only when the students have been let out can she take him back in... It's like... ordering in McD's and then having to go out, get in your car and head through the drive through the pick it up... Why is it too hard to ask that the students be allowed to use the washroom before they leave the school?
post #88 of 173
Because, presumably, 5 year olds need to be chaperoned out the door. You can't have kids going in different directions, including the bathroom. Why is it such a BIG deal that the parent needs to accompany the kid back into school to go to the bathroom. Hardly seems onerous to me. If you want the privilege of staying on school grounds, make just a little bit of effort to make sure that the grounds remain usable for all the children!
post #89 of 173
My friend takes her son from the playground to her car and her son pees on the car tires. (her car of course) It's fun, it's outside, and nobody seems to mind.

Maybe the OP could do that if it's more convenient for her than going inside.

I agree that going back inside would be a hassle, especially if they need to be let back in. But, I wouldn't want children peeing on the trees in my backyard, so I would expect the parent to make sure it doesn't happen.

If she also can't make her son go pee in a bathroom, then perhaps she could ask the teachers to make sure he goes at the end of the day. I'm sure they are busy with the other kids and getting ready to go, but I doubt they would mind that much.
post #90 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by amma_mama View Post
Because, presumably, 5 year olds need to be chaperoned out the door. You can't have kids going in different directions, including the bathroom. Why is it such a BIG deal that the parent needs to accompany the kid back into school to go to the bathroom. Hardly seems onerous to me. If you want the privilege of staying on school grounds, make just a little bit of effort to make sure that the grounds remain usable for all the children!
Exactly. And frankly, no, the school does not have to take responsility for your kids peeing somewhere they shouldn't. Either take them back inside to pee or leave. I'm really not understanding the huge issue here.
Does anyone here actually understand how much is involved taking a large group of preschoolers to the bathroom? They obviously do it at least once during the 2.5 hours, but if they had to do it again right before class let out, there would be virtually no time left. The school is rightly assuming that you can take your child to the bathroom after class lets out if they need to go.
What happened to some parental responsibility? Yes, the school might be locked up more than you would like, but it is a safety measure which imo, trumps being inconvenienced by having to go back inside to use the potty.
I would also like to mention that I have never heard of a school allowing kids & parents to play on the playground while school is in session. Hell, most schools I know of don't even allow that after school. It would be considered trespassing.

Really, it shouldn't be that big of an issue. Either take it up with a higher up, find someplace else to play, get a portable potty, or follow the rules and take a couple minutes to go back in and use the restroom.
post #91 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by amma_mama View Post
Because, presumably, 5 year olds need to be chaperoned out the door. You can't have kids going in different directions, including the bathroom. Why is it such a BIG deal that the parent needs to accompany the kid back into school to go to the bathroom. Hardly seems onerous to me. If you want the privilege of staying on school grounds, make just a little bit of effort to make sure that the grounds remain usable for all the children!
I agree with this. The school gets to decide if they want to continue to let you allow your child to pee on the tree the children play enjoy playing around. The fact that he couldn't be seen doesn't really matter, it is a hygeine issue. I am sorry you are having a hard time getting him to pee inside. Perhaps you could talk to him about how unhygenic it is and tell him that if it continues to happen you may not be allowed to play at the playground after school anymore. Maybe he just needs to stay at home close to a bathroom until he learns to use the bathroom more consistently.
post #92 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by moondiapers View Post
I think I'd frame it as a "school rules" thing. It's against the rules to pee outside at school....even if Mommy is here with you.
yes- this. i would even explain that mommy got in trouble because you did that. it's not shaming, it's just stating the facts. and if you do it again, i'm going to get in more trouble and you might not be able to play there anymore. so now i need you to follow the school's rules, which are: ________.
post #93 of 173
I've let my ds pee at playgrounds before that had no bathroom or locked bathrooms because with a 4 year old(especially one like mine who had potty learning issues) when you gotta go, you gotta go. I try to make sure he uses a tree thats out of the way. All sorts of animals-cats, squirrels, raccoons, etc pee all over the place and no one cares. It's not ideal but it's not the end of the world either.
post #94 of 173
I haven't read all the replies, so forgive me if this has already been said.

OP I can understand your frustration and also where the school is coming from. I have a little boy who loves to pee outside. (We went camping and Matty found the joy of peeing outside and it was suddenly a very hard habit to break for awhile there. )

Now, I always have a little potty with me in the car (well minivan in our case) for this situation.

The school telling you taking him to the bathroom before going to the playground is great in theory. But as we all know, you can't make someone pee. And in my case, packing up a baby and getting my daughter off the playground all to rush Matty to bathroom 1/2 way across the school grounds or something is unrealistic, but I also don't want him peeing where children are potentially playing.

I would ask Matty to pee in the bathroom before we left for the park (or a place where there were no bathrooms) and 1/2 the time he didn't have to go. Murphy's law states though that as soon as we get to our destination, he will have to pee.

Anyways, it's one of those little plastic stand alone pottys, with the actual little bowl in it. He uses that and then I can wait for a good time to discretely dispose of it, (ie subtly reaching under the van and dumping the pee out kinda thing when no one is looking).

HTH.
post #95 of 173
On your own property, you get to set your own rules. It is a matter of courtesy. After hours playground access is not something the OP has the unalienable right to or something the school has to let her do. They're doing a BIG favor by even allowing it. As you can see, most schools don't do that. So follow their rules if you want to take advantage of their offer. What do other kids do after school? What do their parents do about needing to potty?

Everything else about how often kids need to pee, if critters pee there, whether urine is sterile, if kids like to pee outside, how much hassle it is to get to a potty... all irrelevant in this discussion. It's school property. School decides.

(I would be more sympathetic to the OP if it was a problem during the school day and the teacher wasn't taking the kids to the potty during the day.)
post #96 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
I've let my ds pee at playgrounds before that had no bathroom or locked bathrooms because with a 4 year old(especially one like mine who had potty learning issues) when you gotta go, you gotta go. I try to make sure he uses a tree thats out of the way. All sorts of animals-cats, squirrels, raccoons, etc pee all over the place and no one cares. It's not ideal but it's not the end of the world either.

But once again, that's not the point. The school asked her not to allow her son to do that. Frankly, it's their rules and they don't have to allow kids to play on the playground after their class is over. If they keep having problems with kids not following the set rules, they might just close it off for kids not in school and then it ruins it for everyone.
post #97 of 173
After reading this, I would close after-hours playground access for all. They don't have to allow the child to play here at all -- its a privilege not a right. Unless its a public playground attached to the preschool, in which case they have no responsiblity for providing restrooms after hours but they also don't get to make the rules. So I'm assuming (yes, I know, dangerous to do) that its the preschools playground. This is not during school time -- the school has no resonsbility for potty habits after school. They don't have to allow access to the building after hours. They don't have to schedule their preschool day to make in convenient for the parents after pickup. That would be a nicety, but its not a requirement. They do have a responsiblity to maintain a clean safe playground and, as some of the responses here indicate, many parents would say allowing deliberate urination does not do that.
post #98 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jokerama View Post
All sorts of animals-cats, squirrels, raccoons, etc pee all over the place and no one cares. It's not ideal but it's not the end of the world either.
No one has repeatedly asked a squirrel or raccoon not to pee outside.

Anyway, here is the worrier-cynic in me about peeing outside in public places: Sometimes little boys and girls THINK they are in a secluded spot when they aren't. I hate to bring it up, but there are all sorts of sickos in this world who would get a real kick out of seeing a child with their genitals exposed for the purposes of urinating or any other reason. And these are the kinds of people that lurk around parks and playgrounds. They are sometimes even the parents of children our own child's age.

I know, I sound kooky, but so be it.
post #99 of 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maeve View Post
But once again, that's not the point. The school asked her not to allow her son to do that. Frankly, it's their rules and they don't have to allow kids to play on the playground after their class is over. If they keep having problems with kids not following the set rules, they might just close it off for kids not in school and then it ruins it for everyone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by veggiemomma View Post
No one has repeatedly asked a squirrel or raccoon not to pee outside.

Anyway, here is the worrier-cynic in me about peeing outside in public places: Sometimes little boys and girls THINK they are in a secluded spot when they aren't. I hate to bring it up, but there are all sorts of sickos in this world who would get a real kick out of seeing a child with their genitals exposed for the purposes of urinating or any other reason. And these are the kinds of people that lurk around parks and playgrounds. They are sometimes even the parents of children our own child's age.

I know, I sound kooky, but so be it.

Oh I totally understand that. The school has rules and they should be followed. I thought the conversation had moved past the school thing and was now about whether it's ok for little boys to pee outside. That's what I was commenting on.
post #100 of 173
I totally feel for every mom here whose ds/dd has peed outside when it wasn't considered "okay" to do so.

My dd has thrice POOPED outside. Each time followed a recent trip to the bathroom where she peed but didn't feel the urge to poop. Once it was on my neighbors lawn right outside her window, once in the park when the bathrooms weren't open, and once in a little playhouse. All three times were right after she was hardcore potty-learned, and while she was busy playing and really into what she was doing. Each time she suddenly looked up with a face full of panic and said "mommy! daddy! i have to GOOO!!!!!!"

What do others think about this?
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