I HATE no LOATHE the term terrible two's

[annanicole]

I went to a restuarant today with my 2 year old. And the typical exploration of a two year old ensued....He opened a packet of jelly to look in it and made a slight mess and I of course cleaned it up. And he then stirred his orange juice with each utencil but he sat there pretty quiety talking to me about what he was doing and what he was discovering.

And then the waitress comes over and says oh how old is your son...and I said he just turned 2 and she says

"Oh I figured he was a terrible two's kid"

I have rather large expressive eyes, and have been told on many occassions I can give looks that send shivers down spines.....she got one of those looks.

Anyone else have this extreme reaction to this phrase???

[Kappa]

I know what you mean even though my LO is only 8 months. It's the habit of almost everyone I know to call kids that age "bad." I don't think they mean anything by it, but it's the same as calling a kid a "terrible two." There is a very natural and normal phase that all kids go through where they are very curious, active, and have very little impulse control, and don't really have enough language to understand instructions. People do not understand that it is normal and there is no need to call the babies names.

I have had to tell my DH over and over again "Babies are babies until they turn 3." Not because I believe there's some magical cut-off age, I just don't want him to get frustrated when our LO gets into that phase because I've heard him express that he thought other LOs that age are "bad." At least if I give him until age 3, then I think it is reasonable to expect a 3 year old to understand basic instructions with some guidance. 2 year olds, not so much.

[paquerette]

Ugh. So did she get to experience a "terrible tips" day?

[kiwiva]

Yes, it's so annoying. I think there is a certain amount of self-fulfilling prophecy with that sort of thing. If you expect them to be terrible you find things like exploring jelly terrible. What the heck is so terrible about that?

I actually have had very few people mention the terrible twos to me (probably because I never interact with anyone when DD is freaking out ). Most people tell me if she's not giving me a hard time now to watch out for the 3's-that's the worst age.

I think it's too bad so many people need to label children's natural exploration and other behaviors as terrible or otherwise negatively. It's really too bad. They are missing out on all the fun. I think a lot of people are just programmed that way. She was probably trying to commiserate with you. I always just reply that this is a great age no matter what the comment. I actually love the 2s so far! But then I don't expect terrible.

[jillmamma]

I just say, "Yes, they are a challenge sometimes, but they are also so CUTE at this age!" with a big smile.

[Scullery]

I just smile and go, "This is such a fun age, isn't it? I really enjoy it." And hope they get the hint.

[ann_of_loxley]

I always called them the 'terrific twos!'
And I think you are going to be in for a big surprise Kappa lol
No body ever seems to talk about the 'threes'... Or fours. And if you have a son...BIG testosterone surge at the age of 5. Woop! lol

[ABmom]

OH that annoys me as well. I truly think that it is a self-prophecy thing. If you think that X age is terrible or uncontrollable then it becomes so. TBH, I never experienced dd as a terrible 2 or 3s. Maybe it is because I don't see it that way. It was a challenge but if I keep a cool head and expects nothing but the normal typical exploration and independency then she was just just a joy to parent.

[XanaduMama]

:

That's pretty annoying. To me, 2 can be a pretty "terrible" age (truly), but not because of the type of behavior you're describing: it's the tantrums etc that drive me up the wall.

I think of my own kid as being a "terrible" 2yo sometimes, but I'd never describe someone else's kid that way--esp in this sort of situation.

I'm constantly shocked to hear, on MDC, what people say to mamas about their kids.

[captain crunchy]

I hate the term because i think it is a serious misnomer. Two was a walk in the park for us. Three, now this is quite a... journey.

[neverdoingitagain]

: and 4 is turning out to be just as...interesting

No, seriously, the things she comes up with :

[XanaduMama]

Don't tell me that about 4, please... I'm counting down the days until we're done with 3.

(I really do love my kid, btw. But I think these years are a serious design flaw )

[annanicole]

thanks....I was hoping I wasn't the only one. I totally agree about self fulfilling prophecies.

My son is so well behaved, he tells people hello and goodbye and please and thank you and excuse me.

Now there are times, where he becomes overwhelmed and starts whining or crying about little things and going into a quiet place and just sitting with me or my husband seems to then again center him.

I feel like 90% of his reactions to things have to do with my choices....know what I mean? I have the power to overwhelm him or not to.

[2cutiekitties]

Originally Posted by paquerette

Ugh. So did she get to experience a "terrible tips" day?

that is just what I was thinking!!

[ledzepplon]

Originally Posted by annanicole

Anyone else have this extreme reaction to this phrase???

YES!! I always call them the "Teriffic Twos." Toddlers are my favorite! Sure, there are certainly challenges, but it's not easy being a small person.

[~PurityLake~]

Originally Posted by ann_of_loxley

And if you have a son...BIG testosterone surge at the age of 5

?? really??

I thought all children didn't have hormonal surges until puberty, or right before puberty.

[Sydnee]

Originally Posted by captain crunchy

I hate the term because i think it is a serious misnomer. Two was a walk in the park for us. Three, now this is quite a... journey.

With my third, two's have been wonderufl and horrible, depends on the minute you ask me. With my other two, it was the three's and four's.

[Isamama]

Originally Posted by annanicole

I went to a restuarant today with my 2 year old. And the typical exploration of a two year old ensued....He opened a packet of jelly to look in it and made a slight mess and I of course cleaned it up. And he then stirred his orange juice with each utencil but he sat there pretty quiety talking to me about what he was doing and what he was discovering.

And then the waitress comes over and says oh how old is your son...and I said he just turned 2 and she says

"Oh I figured he was a terrible two's kid"

I have rather large expressive eyes, and have been told on many occassions I can give looks that send shivers down spines.....she got one of those looks.

Anyone else have this extreme reaction to this phrase???

Yes, Yes, Yes!!!

My dd's grandma used to say this until she not only got the look of daggers, but the verbal cue of, "what a terrible thing to say" said in a general way...can't remember exactly, but she got it and never said again (at least in front of me).

[Isamama]

Originally Posted by captain crunchy

I hate the term because i think it is a serious misnomer. Two was a walk in the park for us. Three, now this is quite a... journey.

Oh, do I hear ya sister!!