I hope this is the right place to post my problem. I need advice and everyone I can talk to is directly affected by our decision.
My DH and I desperately want to move away from where we live. I grew up in this area and after some years away for college and graduate school, we moved back for jobs in the big city nearby. We figured it was temporary because we love traveling, moving to new places, adventure (and my hometown is anything but adventurous). It has now been 7 years and we are still here. After a few years we had our first baby, then second (and now I'm pregnant with our third). We have slowly become more immersed in life here - my parents, 3 sisters and 1 brother all live within 20 minutes of us. We all have kids about the same age, spend quite a bit of time together, etc. I also have several friends from high school who live in the area and have kids, too. Sounds nice and cozy, right?
Sort of, except my family can be suffocating (I'm learning to say no, but it is a learning process!), the area in general is very conservative (think big SUVs, bigotry, "don't take my money to pay for people who are lazy" type of mentality). DH and I are very liberal and fairly crunchy and I have a hard time meeting like-minded people. My parents and siblings are all liberal, but I can't just spend all my time with them! Plus, it is super-expensive to live here. Housing prices are high for very little space or personality (think suburban sprawl).
So, we want to move. We want to move to Portland, Maine (about 12 hours away). We have no family up there, but see it as an adventure. My husband works from home, so he can do his job anywhere. We could buy a house for 1/2 the cost of our current one and we LOVE Maine (DH went to college there and we've visited a lot). The natural beauty, the culture, etc.
I've mentioned the possibility to my mom and she just gets angry, says "How can you even think of taking your kids away from their grandparents. cousins, aunts and uncles? They won't have close relationships with people who love them so much. We won't get to see them grow up, etc." My sisters just say "Please don't move!"
I know she is just working off strong emotions, and part of me wants to say "Whatever!" and just move, but I know she is partially right. My parents raised us across the country from their families and they often say they regret that decision. I never knew my grandparents.
Ugh! I am sick over this. I love my family, my sisters are my best friends (besides DH), but I feel really pulled between what we WANT and what we should do to nurture the larger family relationships. I have searched high and low for towns or cities a little closer that would satisfy our desires, but the closest I can find is 3-4 hours away.
Any advice??
Edited: I just want to add that we really can't afford to live in our house. We are planning to move to a new house in the spring, regardless. If we stay in this area we are going to have to buy a townhouse in a fairly personality-less area with not very good schools. If we move to Maine, we can afford a small single family home in a nice community with good schools.
My DH and I desperately want to move away from where we live. I grew up in this area and after some years away for college and graduate school, we moved back for jobs in the big city nearby. We figured it was temporary because we love traveling, moving to new places, adventure (and my hometown is anything but adventurous). It has now been 7 years and we are still here. After a few years we had our first baby, then second (and now I'm pregnant with our third). We have slowly become more immersed in life here - my parents, 3 sisters and 1 brother all live within 20 minutes of us. We all have kids about the same age, spend quite a bit of time together, etc. I also have several friends from high school who live in the area and have kids, too. Sounds nice and cozy, right?
Sort of, except my family can be suffocating (I'm learning to say no, but it is a learning process!), the area in general is very conservative (think big SUVs, bigotry, "don't take my money to pay for people who are lazy" type of mentality). DH and I are very liberal and fairly crunchy and I have a hard time meeting like-minded people. My parents and siblings are all liberal, but I can't just spend all my time with them! Plus, it is super-expensive to live here. Housing prices are high for very little space or personality (think suburban sprawl).
So, we want to move. We want to move to Portland, Maine (about 12 hours away). We have no family up there, but see it as an adventure. My husband works from home, so he can do his job anywhere. We could buy a house for 1/2 the cost of our current one and we LOVE Maine (DH went to college there and we've visited a lot). The natural beauty, the culture, etc.
I've mentioned the possibility to my mom and she just gets angry, says "How can you even think of taking your kids away from their grandparents. cousins, aunts and uncles? They won't have close relationships with people who love them so much. We won't get to see them grow up, etc." My sisters just say "Please don't move!"
I know she is just working off strong emotions, and part of me wants to say "Whatever!" and just move, but I know she is partially right. My parents raised us across the country from their families and they often say they regret that decision. I never knew my grandparents.
Ugh! I am sick over this. I love my family, my sisters are my best friends (besides DH), but I feel really pulled between what we WANT and what we should do to nurture the larger family relationships. I have searched high and low for towns or cities a little closer that would satisfy our desires, but the closest I can find is 3-4 hours away.
Any advice??
Edited: I just want to add that we really can't afford to live in our house. We are planning to move to a new house in the spring, regardless. If we stay in this area we are going to have to buy a townhouse in a fairly personality-less area with not very good schools. If we move to Maine, we can afford a small single family home in a nice community with good schools.
you don't have any one you know or trust to leave your child with in an emergancy (i'm lucky i have my one bro who now lives with us). it really helps bring you and your spouse closer together because you'll depend on each other a lot more.
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