neighborhood kids keep knocking on my door!

[turnipmama]

I would like to get some outside perspectives on this.
On our street we have a handful of kids around 7 years old. They are nice enough kids but they are CONSTANTLY knocking on my door wanting my 18 month old DD and I go come out and play, wanting inside my house, to play with the dog, ect. It is REALLY irritating. DD is really too young to play with them and I do not have the time/energy/desire to constantly supervise other people's children. They have woken up the dog, which wakes up DD disrupting naptimes and in general it is kind of a nuisance.

Another thing that bothers me is that the parents seem TOTALLY uninvolved. Despite living here for a year I have never met any of these kids parents until I actually had to go knock on their door. They didn't seem even remotely concerned that their kids were knocking on a complete stranger's door and trying to invite themselves in. How do they know I am not some wacko or something? Of course I am not but it just seems dangerous to me to allow your kid to wander aimlessly around the neighborhood by themselves talking to strangers.

So my question is, how do I handle this? I don't want to hurt these kid's feelings but I am going to have to tell them to stop knocking on my door all the time. However, should I bother to talk to the parents too?

[pigpokey]

I just think you need to define your relationship with the kids. Tell them that you are really tired and busy and can't generally play between the hours of ___ and ____ but when you have time to come outside you are happy to see them. If they come to the door just repeat it briefly and firmly and they will lose interest.

[JJ'sMom]

I had a similar issue. Like the previous poster said, set times that are just for your family. It also helps to put a coloured note on your door for the first little while too. But, so it does not backfire...make sure to be open to playing at __hour. It also helped me to really focus on the LO naptime as a reason to wait for playing.

HTH

Julia

[mammal_mama]

Maybe just tell them that the knocking disturbs Baby when she's resting -- so please don't knock but I'll be happy to see you whenever Baby and I are outdoors!

[mammal_mama]

Originally Posted by JJ'sMom

I had a similar issue. Like the previous poster said, set times that are just for your family. It also helps to put a coloured note on your door for the first little while too. But, so it does not backfire...make sure to be open to playing at __hour. It also helped me to really focus on the LO naptime as a reason to wait for playing.

HTH

Julia

Or maybe make/copy a picture of a sleeping baby and tape it to your door -- and explain that the only times they should knock are when the picture is not there! And just leave it up there, don't take it down unless you really feel like having little visitors.

[LuckyMommaToo]

I grew up on a cul-de-sac with a lot of kids. On our street, everyone had a cardboard stop sign. If it was up on the door, we knew not to knock/ring. Saved my father from the asylum, I think!
-e

[chirp]

it's sad when you become the only adult that pays any attention to the neighborhood kids. that's happened to me in the past.

i just explained to kids that i didn't feel like playing. or that i was busy taking care of things in my house. quick conversation and then that's it. like pp's you DO have to allow some time for playing, if that's how you've begun to relate to the kids. Now a days we don't often get out because of our lil' one BUT we do let the neighborhood kids still play with our balls and jump-ropes and stuff like that. The deal is that it just gets left on our porch when they're done, this way there is no reason to knock or ring again.

We live in an apartment complex with TONS of kids.

Think how nice it will be for your LO with all those kids around when he is a little older.

eta: also i hear that this is frustrating for you, so i respect and understand that, but also...you're not a STRANGER! You're their neighbor! i don't think the parents are completely oblivious to where their kid goes. they probably just trust that they've seen you around and their kid feels comfy with you. taking you for granted. especially since you seem to like the lil' buggers.

[PatchChild]

My favorite neighbor (with kids as well) had a red and green double sided sign on her door. Green, feel free to come by and knock, red meant sorry, try later. We were all fine with that.

[MadameXCupcake]

So this is common??!

My daughter is 8 months old and we constatly have the neighborhood girls coming over to see her. Then when they are in the house its oh, "You have a computer, can I check my myspace :"

Its hard because no one seems to pay attention to them. I had to call CPS on a set of 7yr old twins for abuse.

I honestly think its weird to have such young children running around all over the neighborhood knocking on a strangers door.

I really had to start saying its almost nap time, or it is nap time, etc. If I do feel like talking which sometimes I do since I really feel bad for a lot of the children in my neighborhood I will go outside and not invite them in.

The positives are I have taught two girls to sew, and all have asked questions about me nursing my daughter! Infact one now thinks its normal because her pregnant sister was buying bottles and got confused and said aren't babies supposed to have mama milk? And talked her sister into trying to breast feed!! :

[La Rune]

I'm getting a fence with a locking gate put up soon for this very reason.

The kids in my neighborhood range in age from 4 to 14 and they are constantly knocking on my door. To see my nephew, play with my dogs, ask whose car is outside, etc, etc, it never stops. I've explained that my nephew does not live here, go to his house on the next street. No, the cat will not come play outside. No, my dogs cannot go swimming with you in the pool. Finally I stopped answering the door but they come back and knock some more every 10 minutes.

I'm thinking the OP has the same problem as me ... she doesn't want these kids knocking AT ALL, not just limiting the times they bug her. An 18mo doesn't need to go outside and play with a bunch of 7yos. So having a red sign and a green sign doesn't help, it would always be red. If I'm wrong, turnipmama, feel free to correct me. Your frustration just sounds a lot like mine.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by chirp

eta: also i hear that this is frustrating for you, so i respect and understand that, but also...you're not a STRANGER! You're their neighbor! i don't think the parents are completely oblivious to where their kid goes. they probably just trust that they've seen you around and their kid feels comfy with you. taking you for granted. especially since you seem to like the lil' buggers.

I dunno...if it's like my neighborhood it may very well be uninvolved parents. We *are* strangers (new to the neighborhood) and one family in particular lets their kids wander into other people's fenced yards (and I'm talking privacy fences), play in the street (where they leave their toys), wander aimlessly, play with no clothes on (which is fine with little children but once you hit a certain age I think it becomes important to wear clothes), etc. They let their animals do the same (dogs with no leashes, cats pooping in our vegetable garden - our city has an ordinance against outdoor cats). The only time I have ever observed the parents interacting with their kids seem to be when they're screaming at them. It's very sad.

Anyway, I appreciate some of the ideas that PP have given. We get kids knocking on our door more than we'd like asking if they can wash our car (with a bucket of filthy water) or trying to sell us stuff and I've worried about what's going to happen when we've got a sleeping baby and they're ringing our doorbell. So thanks for the tips.

[hollyvangogh]

Originally Posted by MadameXCupcake

My daughter is 8 months old and we constatly have the neighborhood girls coming over to see her. Then when they are in the house its oh, "You have a computer, can I check my myspace :"

These girls are how old and they have myspace pages? Maybe I'm crazy but the youngest I'd even consider letting my kids have profiles on the internet would be 14, and it would be Facebook, not myspace.

Originally Posted by MadameXCupcake

Its hard because no one seems to pay attention to them.

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