Putting baby to bed without nursing from the start...?

[BnInTheOvn]

I figured this was a good topic to start, as so many people are asking about how to wean from bedtime nursing and I just went through it myself as well (in reality I feel like I've been *trying* to stop doing it since she was a few months old but never got it to work...)

So now that I am a free woman for a few months before my 2nd is born, how have others dealt with putting their babies to bed without nursing -- and doing it from the start before the attachment to it is made and it becomes next to impossible? How do you go about putting them in their bed and they don't scream bloody murder (the only reaction I've even gotten from my daughter)?

I can't do crying it out... for one, I'm not entirely sure I'd be doing it right, and two, I feel bad leaving the room and letting the baby scream because they feel alone.

Has anyone here NOT nursed to sleep? I became so resentful at times when I had to nurse to sleep that I don't want to start the vicious cycle again...

I have all intentions of breastfeeding and doing extended breastfeeding again with this baby, but not for bedtime.

I'd also prefer not to rock/walk/bounce baby until he/she is asleep either.

[RomanGoddess]

I don't see how it would be possible to put a newborn or young baby to sleep at a consistent time without nursing or giving a bottle or rocking or something. Personally, I never understood the whole "no nursing to sleep" thing. Even one of the most ardent CIO advocates, Mark Weissbluth, says in his book that there is absolutely nothing wrong with an infant falling to sleep consistently at the breast every evening and that they do eventually grow out of it anyway. My DD stopped falling asleep at the breast at 8 months, at which point, I would just put her in her crib and she would fall asleep right away, as she was drowsy enough.

[BnInTheOvn]

Originally Posted by RomanGoddess

I don't see how it would be possible to put a newborn or young baby to sleep at a consistent time without nursing or giving a bottle or rocking or something. Personally, I never understood the whole "no nursing to sleep" thing. Even one of the most ardent CIO advocates, Mark Weissbluth, says in his book that there is absolutely nothing wrong with an infant falling to sleep consistently at the breast every evening and that they do eventually grow out of it anyway. My DD stopped falling asleep at the breast at 8 months, at which point, I would just put her in her crib and she would fall asleep right away, as she was drowsy enough.

I'm not saying newborn, but let's say even by 6 months? We did a bedtime routine with my daughter to settle her down before I nursed her each night, and I think that is what solidified it as a "fall asleep" nurse rather than a nurse for food/comfort. I agree they need something to get them drowsy, be it rocking or nursing or something, just don't want to do it until baby is ALL the way out.

I dont think there is anything wrong with it either (obviously, I did it for almost 2 years with Annalise) but I at times felt drained and like I needed another option because I was not happy doing it.

And you are incredibly lucky that your daughter did it at 8 months, because some people are posting about it being an issue at 2.5 years! Annalise would not have done that for me at 8 months. I wish....

[kriket]

:

maybe start a bedtime ritual that doesn't include nursing? Take a bath, get into jamies, read a book, go to bed? I don't know if this would work with little ones, maybe play the same song? My dogs know its bedtime when the "colbert report" music comes on!

[crwilson]

When I do it again, I'm going to pay much closer attention to Pantley's advice about laying baby down while sleepy and trying to soothe without nursing. My dd is 20 months now, and I am SO tired of nursing to sleep but can't get her to stop without a major struggle. I don't think there's anything wrong with nursing to sleep, but if I had it to do over, I don't think I'd do it the same way again.

[Daffodil]

It's hard for me to imagine this working unless the dad was the one to put the baby to bed. Even then, how would you keep the baby from falling asleep while nursing?

[srs]

I think it might depend a lot on the baby too. You could get one of the "lay down while drowsy" types.

[RomanGoddess]

Originally Posted by srs

I think it might depend a lot on the baby too. You could get one of the "lay down while drowsy" types.

I guess that was mine. I still always nursed her as part of her bedtime routine , but at some point, the breastmilk was simply not enough to make her fall asleep. At that point, I would simply put her in bed awake. But she was nevertheless drowsy enough that she wasn't bothered by that.

One other thing that was key for us was that from birth, she always slept on this kind of white cotton muslin thing under her head. The French midwives (we were in france at the time) told me to do that and I just followed what they said. I thought it was for hygeine reasons because you're supposed to change it every day. Well, for some reason, by about 8 months, my DD had become so used to this muslin in bed with her that she had become attached to it (she still carries one around to this day, at age 4!!!!).

I had no idea that this would happen but in a way it was fortunate, because when I would put her in her crib, the presence of this white muslin, rather than the breastfeeding, had become her sign to go to sleep. By about 9 months, there was no way she would sleep without it.

[BnInTheOvn]

Originally Posted by crwilson

When I do it again, I'm going to pay much closer attention to Pantley's advice about laying baby down while sleepy and trying to soothe without nursing. My dd is 20 months now, and I am SO tired of nursing to sleep but can't get her to stop without a major struggle. I don't think there's anything wrong with nursing to sleep, but if I had it to do over, I don't think I'd do it the same way again.

Yes, that is how I feel too. I am all for doing it as well (obviously since I did do it), but at times became so irritated and it was always a struggle. It was also difficult if we were away from home.

I read Pantley's book and think I will reread it again before this baby is born, she has a section about not even associated bedtime with falling asleep nursing so that you don't have to then go through the 30 step process to stop doing it.