Gifts for their house only? - Page 3

[*Erin*]

if it's a GIFT it should come home with the person it's given to! if it's something cool to play with at granny's house, then granny should just put it out unwrapped and give it as such.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by ElaynesMom

I was just wondering if this is the norm in other people's families.

It's not the norm in our family. My mom has a few toys, both indoor and outdoor, and a small selection of movies, which are for the various grandchildren to use when they come over. None of those things were gifts, though. Different strokes and all that, but I find the whole "this is your gift, but you can't actually have it" thing really strange.

[Storm Bride]

I just finished reading the thread. If I was going to buy the bead maze, I'd buy the bead maze. Then, I'd tell my mom that I'd done so. I have had two family members who manipulate with money and "gifts" with a bunch of conditions attached. I don't play that game - not ever. One of these people almost destroyed my childhood, and caused pronounced damage to me, my siblings and my cousins. Nobody dicks around with my child's happiness, or my relationship with my kids, just so they can play "oh, look what grandma bought you, isn't it the best?". The fact that your mom knows this sucks, and is doing it to you anyway makes me want to hit something.

[bczmama]

I agree with a PP that the solution seems pretty simple. Only suggest to her gifts you would be happy to have her get for your daughter. Those gifts that you want to give your daughter yourself should not be included on any Christmas list, or even discussed/mentioned by you.

[ElaynesMom]

Thanks for all the replies, it gives me a lot to think about.

I did not discuss this with my mother, this is something we both thought of independant of each other, so she isn't technically "stealing" my idea. I however, wanted to get it for her as my mom is already buying her other things from the list I did give her, as well as additional items. I wouldn't discuss with my mother what I was getting her, as she does tend to be this way.

I do think I'll try and let this go for now, but I'm definitely going to talk with her after Christmas. I've been stressed and upset by quite a few issues involving my mother, and never like to talk to her because she always tells me I'm being ridiculous, or pulls a "well if you're going to be upset with me, I'm going to be upset with you back" thing.

This one thing probably isn't such a big deal on it's own, but it's small things like this that build up.