Father/son trip when DS is still nursing?

[kcparker]

My DH wants desperately to go see his grandmother and take our son so she can meet him, but I don't know if this is such a good idea. DS would be about 18-19 months old when he wants to go. Now (at 15 months) he is still getting a good part of his nutrition from nursing (nurses 6-8x/24 hours), and I can't imagine that he will want to wean before the new year. I don't think it's fair to wean him just so his great-grandma can see him before she gets so addled with Alzheimer's that she doesn't even recognize her grandson, much less a great-grandson who she's never met (selfish mama, I know, but my child's health is more important to me than his great-grandma's happiness). I fear that if DH takes him to Florida for 4-5 days, it will a) freak him out because mama isn't there, and b) lead to and abrupt and traumatic weaning. I am fine with pumping before they go and while they would be gone to keep my supply up, but the other question is - can DH take a 4-5 day supply of breastmilk with him on the airplane (at 32 oz/day, that's over 120 oz. of milk, more than the limit for liquid/gel carry-on)?

Anyone else have experience with this? Should I tell DH either we all go (which is a SERIOUS financial strain, even sending just him is a pretty serious blow to our meager budget), or he and DS don't go until DS is weaned, which I don't see happening until next summer at the earliest? We are facing the creeping decay of her brain, and DH's family is telling him, "Go now, before she forgets who you are. It would mean the world to her to meet her only great-grandson too." Maybe on the balance, family is more important than money, I should just be okay with having a credit card debt for a few months and quit being an unreasonable Scrooge?

[kangaroomum25]

I vote you all go.

[mbbinsc]

I think your concerns are valid. My children would not have been able to go without nursing, both for nutrition and comfort at that age. I also found nursing helpful on airplanes to deal with the ear pain. My grandmother had alzheimers. I visited her often when she had no idea who I was. The visit was more for me. There is also no way to predict her mental status beforehand. This trip may be more for your DHs happiness.

[*Erin*]

i would have to say that we all have to go. we have had similar situations in the past, and i said no way, we all go or no deal. *dh didn't do the requesting, it was mil, but anyway-is there any family that could maybe help you out with a bit of extra cash to make this happen?

[MeepyCat]

I say, scrape together the cash to go with them. Don't be shy about leaning on family to help make the trip as cheap as possible.

I agree that this trip may be more for your DH than for his grandma or your son. Sometimes, when dealing with people we love who are suffering from dementia, we do the things we think they would have wanted when they were clear in their minds so that we can feel right with ourselves. Expect to do a lot of hand holding and comforting on this trip.

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by kangaroomum25

I vote you all go.

yup, me too. this is one of those times when cc debt is probably worth it. 5 days is a long time to be away from a nursling. DD is that age now, and though she might handle it okay (she drinks cow's milk so could probably subsist on that and solids just fine if she had to), i don't think my boobs would fare so well. even with pumping, i'm sure that amount of time would be too much, since pumping doesn't empty me out compltely. i am just now getting to a point where i could envision leaving her overnight.

[kcparker]

Thanks for the confirmation of my gut instinct, ladies. Blah. Winter travel. Air travel. Penury. We will all go. I am sure it will be fun taking the boy to see manatees at the state park near Grandma's house. They will probably blow his mind!

[VOBetz]

Seems like you already have your answer, but I have two good friends with CLWers that took trips away from their nurslings around that time without nursing trouble upon return. I don't know that their nurslings were nursing that much at 18 months.

Have fun on your trip though.

[alegna]

Originally Posted by kangaroomum25

I vote you all go.

:

-Angela

[finn'smama]

It's great you have figured out a way for all of you to go!

I'm going to just say that, personally, I would have no problem letting ds (18 mo) go with dp for a couple of days (no longer though) and he nurses a lot still. Dp has different ways of comforting and feeding him that are just as effective if I'm not around.
I think it totally depends on the child.