a simple christmas: why do you do it?

[nova22]

i'm supposed to be writing an article for my mops (mothers of preschoolesr) newsletter and i have serious writer's block. i have finally settled on a topic and i'm hoping some of you can help me brainstorm this. i want to write about the joys of a simple christmas as opposed to the kind where there are piles of presents everywhere and no outreach or charity of any kind. mops is a christian newsletter but all ideas are welcome; if needed i will just adapt your ideas to work with the women in the group.

a couple years ago i read a lot of posts about getting four presents per child...
1. something they want
2. something they need
3. something to play with
4. something to read
for my family...say, my four year old...that might be a my little pony, new ballet slippers, a board game, and a magazine subscription. i had a lot of fun using that guideline not only to trim down the excessive gifting that can go on in families with a lot of grandparents, aunts, and uncles, but also to get ideas for worthwhile gifts that have a lot of play value.

do you have any other guidelines that you follow in order to have a simple christmas (or any holiday for that matter...i'm sure i can make it apply)?

in what ways have you simplified? less gifts, or more homemade/eco-friendly/experience gifts?

what have you gained from simplifying your holidays?

has simplifying the holidays inspired you to simplify other areas of your life? if so, please explain.

do you feel that simplifying has inspired you to be more generous to others in creative ways? how?

how have your children reacted from this simplification?

if you have not simplified, does the idea appeal to you? why?

have there been any negative affects to simplification? if so, how have you dealt with that? the most blaring example i can think of is a lack of cooperation from extended family, because that is always our problem!

is there anything else you can think to add about the benefits of simplifying christmas?

[34me]

You probably won't be able to use our reason because I sure hope it doesn't pertain to anyone else. We lost everything in a fire in June 2007 and had just moved back into our house in November 2007. We did not really buy anything until we were back into our house because I didn't want to move it. Well, we really figured out what was important during that time - each other.....

So they each got one thing for the holidays in 2007 and we will continue our new tradition in 2008.

[nova22]

i'd love to use your reason if you don't mind...that's definitely relevant to what i'm writing. i'm really trying to push the 'don't forget how fortunate you are' message across.

[TanyaS]

We made a conscious decision to focus more on Christmas than presents. Last year, we decided to do three gifts per child. We typically get them one thing they really want and two smaller things that they either want or need. Reasons for the shift are spiritual and practical. It is so easy to focus on the commercialism of Christmas, and I think this is true whether you are Christian or not. We chose three gifts to mirror the example of the three magi bringing a gift to Jesus at His birth. The children still receive gifts from family members, and it is still plenty.

[ABmom]

Gift giving aside, our Christmas is fairly simple. Dh and I are not much into the commercialism of Christmas so we have a pretty plain Christmas. We don't decorate the house with lots of Christmassy stuff (other than the crafts dd makes with me or from preschool). We have a tree but it is decorated with dd's crafts and we let her do it. It may not be the best looking tree (evenly spaced decos or color-coordinated) but we are proud of it.

Santa is just a jolly old man who loves children and give gifts to all children. We don't imply that only good boys/girls get them. (We grimaced every time sil asked if dd has been a good girl before giving her the gift.) We read stories about Christmas being the birthday of Baby Jesus.

We also hope to start a tradition of having dd visit a senior's home and passing out her homemade Christmas crafts. We got the idea from our friend.

[choli]

We keep the gift giving to a minimun, just the kids of a few very close friends (and our own, of course). This is made easier because we have no extended family in this country.

Christmas decoration is kept to a tree, a wreath, and some holly around the picture frames. I really dislike a lot of the Christmas decor that's popular. I have no need of special plates and table setting for Christmas to be used once a year. I don't have the space to store that type of thing anyway.

I keep Christmas simple because I hate the whole two month (or more) consumer razzmatazz of buying stupid stuff to give to people, so that I can receive in return more stupid stuff that I don't need, and stress about the whole process as well.

It helps that my husband is non-Christian, and does not really celebrate Christmas much. We keep it very low key.

[TeaghansMama]

Originally Posted by TanyaS

We made a conscious decision to focus more on Christmas than presents. Last year, we decided to do three gifts per child. We typically get them one thing they really want and two smaller things that they either want or need. Reasons for the shift are spiritual and practical. It is so easy to focus on the commercialism of Christmas, and I think this is true whether you are Christian or not. We chose three gifts to mirror the example of the three magi bringing a gift to Jesus at His birth. The children still receive gifts from family members, and it is still plenty.

we do the three gift thing here as well. it started as a way to rein in the gift giving relatives when dd1 was a year old. they were instructed that they could not outdo Santa so they had to limit it to under 3 gifts. it's also the way we tie in jolly gift-giving Santa to the real reason of Christmas. "Santa" brings them one gift that they just really want and the other two are more practical things that they need or that are educational. Mom and Dad give them new jammies every year and 1 or 2 other gifts, usually something practical or something we made. (Last year we gave them a play kitchen that we made) We do get new books every year. We have a basket of Christmas stories that I wrap every year and they choose one to unwrap and read every night of Advent.

[FillingMyQuiver]

We began our simplification of the holidays in 2006 b/c DH was working a job that barely paid the bills and we found ourselves broke at the holidays. I was pg w/ DD and had this strong nesting urge to make all the gifts I could before she was due in mid-November.

I also found myself accutely aware of the fact that DH's parents (his mother especially) are VERY overindulgent and spend WAY too much $$ on DH and his brother (who is 15yrs younger). B/c of this, BIL has grown up thinking he can have whatever he wants, whenever he wants and has come to expect blowout Christmases. I didn't want this for my children at all.

Growing up, there were years when the $$ was slim, but we always had our traditions and special activities that made the holidays special. That was what I wanted to strive for with my kids.

Our "simplification" has meant different things at different times. We spend some extra $$ on quality, handmade wooden nativity pieces to ensure they'll last and b/c they're beautiful. We spend $$ on quality materials for the gifts we make so that we know they'll stand the test of time and my children.

We focus on traditions and experiences b/c in the end, that's what our children will remember. My children have only really gotten handmade gifts from DH and I b/c that's what we make a priority, and y'know, they realize it at 4.5 and 3. DD opened a tricycle for her b-day from MIL and the first thing DD asked me was if *I* had made it, LOL.

We have an advent calendar I made last year that we fill with things we will do (bake cookies, pop popcorn and watch a special Christmas movie,go to our church's Christmas cantada, etc) We read stories about the nativity and focus on the birth of Jesus. We decorate simply using natural materials, pinecones, evergreen and holly boughs from our yard, a tree and our stockings. Any trinkets we put out are either handmade by me or a family member (like my mom), something that we collected before our move to simplicity or are from our childhoods.

We do have a big Christmas Eve celebration w/ my parents and siblings and their families, but I come from an Italian family and this is a tradition. Each year we've been able to convince my extended family to move away from the commercialism of the season for gift giving and more towards the handmade/ eco-friendly/ less $$ side of gift giving.

Simplifying for us has meant more time with family and less time in the packed stores. And while my free time is taken up by making gifts before the holidays, I'm not stressed out trying to maneuver around people in a crowded store, or snapping at my children to keep up as we rush through the mall. My children take part in some of the holiday crafting (and the amount of participation will grow each year as they are more able to do more difficult things). I find myself putting more thought into the gifts I'm giving b/c I'm making them and I find myself thinking of the recipient more while I'm crafting their gift.

We have met *some* resistance at times about our simplifying, mostly from my MIL. She doesn't quite understand our desire to move towards simplicity, so we put the MIC, focus on quality not quantity, toys taking over the house spin on it for her.

[cmoma]

So much of what "fillingmyquiver" said rings true for us. The simplifiying started at the beginning of the year with my daughters second birthday. It was an eco- friendly party with just a small group of close family and friends. I asked for clothes for her and asked them to be wrapped in an eco-friendly way. I gave a small gift basket to one of the guests. It was so nice and simple there weren't mobs of gifts to open and it wasn't overwhelming for any of us.

I just keep moving us the simplifying direction, making small changes here and there so continuing it for Christmas was a no brainer. It seems for us every year we say we are going to keep it simple, and while we do seem to down size it still of course is too much.

Christmas tends to be overwhelming and stressful. For the adults and the kids and I hate that.

Along with wanting to live a more simplified life money is always tight in the winter for us and with a new baby coming in the spring and the buying of a bigger house in the summer we need to be saving not spending.

So for us this is going to be a Giving Christmas. I plan to make my chocolate christmas bark to give out as usual but we also to plan to donate and give to other families and children who have less than us. By way of Operation Chrismas Child who gives to children in other countries and through a local organization

We plan to give only homemade gifts. To eachother and to our families. We will decorate but keep it simple and all natural and homemade also.

For the first time in quite a while I don't feel like the grinch about decorating and buying gifts and for who and how much.

[doubledutch]

i'm tempted to say "because we have no use for a mountain of junk" but really, i don't want christmas to be about the gimme-gimmes with my kids, and i don't want it to be about stress, obligations, and spending beyond our means.

[Caneel]

I really like that 4 gift idea. I am going to pass that along to my mom who is guilty of buying too much stuff for DS.

I just posted under another sub-forum about why our Christmases are simple. In summary:

My family was/is frugal and religious (DH and I are not but respect their choices) and placed emphasis on the act of family gathering and celebrating each other.
DH and I grew out of wanting to buy for each other. We are both actually happy that we don’t need to shop for each other.
We want to focus on spending money on experiences instead of possessions.

Our guideline is gifts for children only and being that I am an only child, there are no other kids to buy for. Adults do not exchange in my family and that even includes gifts between me and my mother.

What have we gained from simplifying? Aside from gaining more family time by not shopping, we gained a tradition in the form of a winter vacation. That is our gift to each other.

We are actively working to simplify all areas of our lives so I would have to say the overall practice is what influenced our simple Christmas.

Simplifying has inspired or released us to be able to plan nice family holiday meals with extra special food, that type of thing.

We have our traditions when decorating the house with fresh greens and our annual “Christmas Tree A-Getting” day that starts with brunch at a really nice country inn. We rather spend $60 on that lunch than $60 on stuff we won’t remember in 5 years.

Aside from the general stress of too many parties and gatherings, I take pleasure in knowing I am free from all the holiday stresses like shopping. (I do not like to shop.)

Our DS is too young to know the difference. When he gets older, we will explain to him that our family togetherness is more important than a huge mound under the tree. My parents were always good at explaining why our practices were different and how it benefited our family and I will try to do the same.

We did have some people that we felt obligated to give a gift to, not family but business associates and employees that purchased gifts for us.

One year we decided to give gifts of animals from Heifer International. Everyone seemed (at least to our faces) pleased with the gifts. It had the unexpected effect of stopping the gift exchanges.

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by doubledutch

i'm tempted to say "because we have no use for a mountain of junk" but really, i don't want christmas to be about the gimme-gimmes with my kids, and i don't want it to be about stress, obligations, and spending beyond our means.

Ha! That made me laugh out loud.

[Stone Fence]

I have issues with DH

DH wants DS to have everything, toy wise.

This Christmas my mother is cutting back (thank goodness) and DH went bananas with the action figures. DS does play with this stuff and does creative play.

It's a struggle but I like our quiet Christmas. This will be the first year DS really gets the present thing. He's already looking forward to it.

[velochic]

Not a great idea for your article, but we have a simple Christmas because we are usually in Turkey, a Muslim country. They don't celebrate Christmas, so it's business as usual and we have a simple celebration that is secular.

[MamaJenese]

I have a simple christmas with my family, because growing up I had a simple christmas. My parents usually gifted the family a trip. Usually skiing or some other wintery thing. As far as gifts we opened it was pajamas, a book for the car (to keep us busy when heading on the trip) and usually one other thing we really wanted. Growing up this way really made us remember the idea of family at the holidays. When my sisters and I talk about the christmas past it is stories about the people. We remember cooking with Nonna and the feast of the 7 Fishes (Our grandmothers are itlalian) About getting bundled up for midnight mass. We remember the night of hot chocolate, pie, and tree decorating. My DH grw up with the piles of gifts. He loved the way the traditions were what my family remember and talk about. So when we had our own family we decided lots of tradition over lots of gifts.

[MilkTrance]

The reason our Christmasses are more simple now is because my Mother passed away, and I'm now the one stuck with all the organizing and planning! It's hard work. And sometimes it's more stress than it's worth.

I'm also more of an "experiences" versus "material objects" person -- I like experiences and memories of them more than gifts. So this year we plan on doing more family "experiences" and even less gifts than last year.

I will NOT give up all the food though. Mmmm. I love Christmas food!

[SleeplessMommy]

At almost 3 years old, my son R opened his first present - a wooden peg workbench with hammer from Grandma. (It was second hand, by the way We had difficulty getting him to stop hammering to open the 2nd gift. And when we asked him to open his third gift. he said "enough". I put the big Duplo train set back in the closet, and he opened it 2 months later for his birthday.

He had a great Christmas that year, and the peg workbench got lots of use. It was us, as parents, that had the expectation of many presents for our son under the tree. He just wanted to spend time with his new toy.

For the holidays, we try to bake pies and cookies as a family, decorate a small tree and focus on helping others. (see my siggy, below)

[tjjazzy]

Originally Posted by TeaghansMama

We do get new books every year. We have a basket of Christmas stories that I wrap every year and they choose one to unwrap and read every night of Advent.

that's such a lovely tradition!

[cuttiebearmom]

This video was inspirational to a lot of family and friends around us. The ideas that it represents are our main reason for having a simpler holiday season. Just really think about it for a few minutes and it resonates very strongly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU

[Thalia]

I love that video! Thanks for posting it!!