UPDATE- TY! How would you respond? Teacher upset about DD being pulled out to be HSd

[Mizelenius]

First, my bad. I MEANT to tell DD that she was not to discuss our plans to HS with her teacher. I did not. I also have been hesitant to turn in the letter saying she would be transferred because I didn't want it to be weird for DD with her teacher for a long time.

Today, I got an e-mail from the teacher that she just found out from DD that she would be HSed. I'll paraphrase, but the general idea was that she:
-had spoken with the principal about meeting DD's needs
-was going to go to a conference to learn about how to deal with children like DD
-was planning on having DD work with a resource teacher
-had DD involved in a program (it meets 5 weeks on, 5 off, for about 50 min. a day)

She said she felt terrible that they were not able to meet DD's needs "immediately."

I am not sure how to respond. I do not want to offend this teacher. I do NOT want to burn any bridges. I also do not want to make it seem like we are just picky parents . . .to date, we rarely talk to the teacher (once a month, maybe?) so it's not like (I think) we have been pushy all along, and now we are ungrateful for what they are doing.

I don't know if I should respond in writing, call, or in person . . .if I write, what do I say? My friend said to make sure I did not make HSing out to be a last resort, but I also do not want to put the PS system down in any way to make my point.

[syd'smom]

Is she a new teacher? It sounds like she is just feeling like she couldn't help your daughter and is feeling guilty (rightly or wrongly). I'm guessing your decision is based on what is best for your daughter and not really too much to do with one particular teacher, but that may be how she is feeling. I would be honest and forthright and reassure her she didn't "fail" your daughter. Hugs to you all.

[mammastar2]

"Thank you for your concern and your ongoing attention to dd's needs. Please rest assured that we very much appreciate all your hard work on dd's behalf. Our decision is in no way a reflection of any displeasure with your efforts! We feel very fortunate to be in a position to make the decision to homeschool at this time, and are looking forward to growing and learning together as a family."

Or something like that.

[earthmama369]

Dear teacher,

I appreciate your concern and your efforts on behalf of dd. I am not taking dd out of school as a negative response to her experience there. I simply feel that out of the range of options toward receiving an education, for dd, homeschooling may be the best one. DD speaks fondly of you and I wish you the best.

Sincerely,
you

[earthmama369]

cross-posted

[elizawill]

well, i don't know the background of why you are choosing to homeschool, so i don't know how you should respond.

me personally? i would call her. i feel e-mails can give off a 'tone' sometimes that isn't even there. it sounds like the teacher feels she has failed your daughter and wants to try & remedy the situation. she's obviously feeling responsible for your decision and is trying to make it right.

if you are not upset with the teacher, i would be sure to tell her so. if you appreciate what she has tried to do thus far, be sure and tell her so. her job is not an easy one, and i think to successfully teach 20 kids or so would be quite difficult. i would reassure her that the decision is not personal toward her, but simply is in the best interest of your dd and that there are no hard feelings toward the school in any way. ...unless you feel otherwise of course - then don't say that

but if overall the teacher is truly doing her best...well, that's all anyone can do, yk? it sounds like she is willing to work on her end and do what ever needs to be done to help your child...so i would just extend your appreciation. politely say no thanks. and move on.

good luck

[LauraN]

When I pulled DS out of school, I just told the teacher I had always wanted to homeschool, and had now gotten all my ducks in a row to be able to do so. That way it didn't blame her at all. She was quite gracious about it after I said that.

[koru]

It sounds like her teacher is feeling like she isn't doing a good job. I'd definitely call or talk in person to reassure her that your decision to homeschool is a personal one & has nothing to do with her ability as a teacher.

A similar thing happened when I informed the school that we'd be pulling my DD out to hs. I requested a meeting with her teacher to talk in person but she was obviously SO nervous about this. Why would I want to meet with her? I finally just told her, on the phone, that we decided to homeschool & tried to explain that it was a personal decision but she was obviously still on edge about it. The principal called me the next day & I reassured her that my daughter's teacher had nothing to do with our decision & thanked her & then we proceeded to talk technicalities. I was actually very anxious to have this conversation with them so it felt good to think that I somehow had the upper hand.

Good luck!

[Mizelenius]

My initial plan was to e-mail the teacher back, but I thought about what elizawill said about tone . . .so I called her. We had a very good chat, and I told her the things that had been suggested here . . .that we were VERY thankful for all the school had done, that they have always gone that extra mile for DD, and that this decision was in no way a reflection on her or the school. I think she was very comforted by this. She was also very helpful-- told me that if I wanted any help in any way, that she was available, and said some lovely things about DD. She is looping with her class, so she said that she'd love to have DD next year if HSing did not work out, although she hoped for everyone that it did. (I emphasized that this was a trial thing). It was a very positive conversation.

So, we are going to see her at report card pickup. I am just so happy with the way this has worked out!

THANK you for all of your wonderful suggestions. Completely helped!