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Help! Please!

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
Im 23 yrs old, my son is 4mo. I am choosing not to vaccinate b/c my family never has. i know some side effects like the scream from DTaP, and the mercury in some, but after that im kinda clueless. i know i shouldn't vaccinate but my mother-in-law is a nurse so its like an uphill battle between her and my husband. What do i do? i need some info with exact specifics that i can understand and useto back me up. please help
post #2 of 18
The archives are a great place to start - that's where I learned everything.
And btw, why do you have to debate it with her? It isn't any of her business what medical decisions you make for your children even if she is a nurse.
post #3 of 18
Yes definitely check the archives, they have a great wealth of information. My MIL is a nurse too, so I can sympathize with your situation. Fortunately, my DH is totally on board with no-vaxing! Good Luck!
post #4 of 18
I like www.thedoctorwithin.com --see the chapters on vaccination. Dr. Tim O'Shea is the author of "The Sanctity of Human Blood: Vaccination is Not Immunization" and he put excerpts from that book on his web site. Its very informative and explains very well why vaccines are unhealthy, harmful and ineffective.
post #5 of 18
Thread Starter 
i know it seems none of her business, but i moved away from my family about 4 years ago and she has been taking very good care of me and my husband. i came to her right before i turned 20, i was still a teenager. she is the only grandparent around, (my family is in mich, im in az) she feels it is her responsibility to look after us. i need a reference so i can understand what ppl are talking about. i dont know all the abbreviations, and i know what some stand for but i dont know what it is. for example: i know about the wooping cough, but i don't know what it is. do you know what im saying?
post #6 of 18
Originally Posted by JoellePerry View Post
for example: i know about the wooping cough, but i don't know what it is. do you know what im saying?
Whooping cough is another name for pertussis. The vax for that is DTaP which also includes diphtheria and tetanus.
post #7 of 18
Inside vaccines is a good place to start http://insidevaccines.com/wordpress/ they give a very nice break down of all the vaccines and facts/info from the CDC which will be good with a nurse I would think.
post #8 of 18
It isn't any of her business, no matter how much she has helped you. Your baby is still your baby, so don't get into it with her. You don't have to defend your parenting decisions. Good luck.
post #9 of 18
Take a deep breath.
It's hard to argue with people in the medical community at all much less someone who is also your MIL. I agree that its none of her business but I also know that she still may act like it is, especially if your DH is offering her information. That puts you in a tough spot.
The more you read though, the more comfortable you should feel and eventually will have a few zingers under your belt to use when confronted. You'll pick up a few of those even just casually browsing around here .
Good luck and don't forget to breathe!
post #10 of 18
Originally Posted by ThereseReich View Post
I like www.thedoctorwithin.com --see the chapters on vaccination. Dr. Tim O'Shea is the author of "The Sanctity of Human Blood: Vaccination is Not Immunization" and he put excerpts from that book on his web site. Its very informative and explains very well why vaccines are unhealthy, harmful and ineffective.
wow there are some really interesting articles there. Thanks!
post #11 of 18
Stop arguing with her; ask your dh to stop arguing with her. Say "I know you love ds and are concerned for him, but you have to trust that WE are making the best decision for the health of OUR child."

Just because you are not good at debating does not mean that you are ignorant and are making a bad decision. For an even handed treatment of the issue I recommend "Vaccinations, A Thoughfull Parents Guide" by Aviva Romm. For keeping your dcn healthy and to treat VPDs: "Naturally Healthy Babies and Children: A Commonsense Guide to Herbal Remedies, Nutrition, and Health" by Aviva Romm and "How to Raise a Healthy Child in Spite of Your Doctor" by pediatrician Dr. Mendelsohn.

This site is great Inside Vaccines.

And you may find this video helpful:
Vaccines-The Risks, the Benefits, the Choices DVD, By Dr. Sherri J. TENPENNY

Answer these for yourself:

1. Name of the disease
2. Description of the disease
3. Length of time from initial infection to end of all symptoms
4. Infectious period
5. Normal symptoms of the disease
6. Known serious consequences of the disease
7. Proportion of persons infected developing serious consequences
8. Transmission route of the disease
9. Prevalence of the disease
10. Treatments of the disease and efficacy of those treatments
11. Relevant research about the disease
12. Name of the vaccine
13. Company that makes the vaccine
14. Contents of the vaccine
14A. The significance of whether or not the vaccine is live
15. History of development of the vaccine
16. Known side-effects of the vaccine and rate of incidence of those side-effects
17. Possible side-effects not yet acknowledged by the vaccine maker
18. Relevant research into the vaccine
19. How effective is the vaccine at preventing the disease?
20.What is the vaccine meant to do? (Many vaccines are not meant to prevent infection or transmission).
21.Number of cases reported each year.
22.Number of deaths reported each year from the vaccine and natural disease.

Here are some sources to help you out:

Inside Vaccines

http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/mmwr_wk.html (download the current issue)
post #12 of 18
Here are my controbutions:



Those are my to favs

I still haven't read it all.
post #13 of 18
My MIL is a nurse also. Luckily she keeps her mouth shut and has only made a few comments here and there. I have read A LOT so I always know how to make my case back when she voices her concerns.

You can read this book which is a good start about the different diseases.

Rather then just being concerned about the possible vaccine reactions, you can take a stance on knowing how easy it is to treat a particular disease if your child should contract one. Because this is the worry from your MIL. If you can intelligently tell her that if your LO gets XYZ disease you are not concerned because they can be successfully treated in a healthy child.
post #14 of 18
post #15 of 18
My MIL is a nurse but supports our decision mainly because she had to deal with almost losing my husband to a vaccine reaction to the DTaP. I would also stop arguing with her. Just say "Its our choice, our child, and not up for discussion."
post #16 of 18
You mention your age first thing in the post. Are you insecure about your age compared to hers? Don't be. Being a mother gives you the intincts to handle these situations. An older mother can learn a lot from a younger one. I know that I have many times. I was insecure some also when I was a young mom (24 with my first) and I found that the more I respected myself and stood my ground (which is not the same as argueing my point), other people respected me and ability to parent my child. Being close to family is stressful because it seems that people are so ready to give you unwanted advice and criticism. I finally got the point across by stating that "I'm the mother and it's my job to follow my own insticts with my child." Or just stating "I'm the mom, I'll deal with these decisions."

I hope your dh stands by your decision. If not, make a lot of information available to him. He might not feel comfortable arguing with her without lots of information. If you make him a non-vax advocate, then you don't have to worry.
post #17 of 18
You know, when I started this investigation I was also convinced I needed to learn everything. Only much later did I realize that a comprehensive understanding of the subject is a lifetime of research. If you try to drink from the firehose, you will feel totally overwhelmed.

You have a lifetime to learn, and a lifetime to decide to vaccinate. You can never take it back though. If you need to tell your MIL something, I would tell her that you are currently researching the subject, and are not comfortable vaccinating until you have more information. And I would just repeat that, until you get to the point in your inquiry when you start to feel that you can respond with specific objections. That's assuming you EVER want to get into the discussion - you might not, and that's okay, too. There are a lot of moms I know who know enough to be comfortable with their decisions, and who don't feel a need to know enough to argue.
post #18 of 18
Hey, hey, (hand up in air) MIL is a nurse too!!!

Yep, I hear ya on the MIL/nurse thing. NOT fun. But I agree with the others - YOUR child YOUR decision. She had the opportunity to make decisions for her children and now it's time for you to make them for yours.
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