Desperately Seeking Advice on what to do

[Raene]

My daughter, who's almost 5, has been fascinated by bodily functions
since birth. She still LOVES talking about poop. I know this is
common, but it's gone way too far. I used to ignore it, then when
that didn't work, I'd acknowledge her words and then talk about
something else...but nothing's working. She also loves to talk about
pooping/peeing outside. Every time we're on a walk, etc, she begs to
go to the bathroom, even though sometimes I don't think she really
needs to go.

This morning my partner called me at work to tell me that our daughter
just pooped in the cat's litter box!!! Daughter said it was an
accident...but of course it's not. I was really upset and my partner
is disgusted. I told him to have her clean out the box herself. I
called my mom (i don't know why...she didn't parent in the best way)
and she told me to punish her by taking something away from her. I
don't agree...I'm a believer in letting the punishment fit the crime.

Aside from scooping the box, we came up with the idea of having her go
through her piggy bank and pull out $1.50 to pay for replacing the
cat's litter since it had to be dumped out. I still feel like this
isn't enough for her to learn. By reacting, I'm afraid she'll be
excited to have the attention, and by being silent I'm not sure she'll
learn. What can we do here???? Why can't she get over her poop
fascination? THanks so much.

[meemee]

try the educate her route and see how it goes.

she is probably curious how the whole thign works. probably curious about how the cats go poop too.

i would walk thru the whole digestive system and then how it turns into poop and pee and how our nutrition creates either diahrhhea or constipation or coloured poop.

i would also go on a wildlife walk and bring back scat to dissect. or dissect right there to see whats in it. that is if you are willing to do it.

anytime i have found my dd is fascinated with something to teh point of misbehaving - it has always been an experimenting, learning need that she had.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/

http://www.kidinfo.com/Health/Human_Body.html

a good medical dictionary really helped and also colouring books on the human body also have some great diagrams to understand.

[Ks Mama]

I have to be honest... it just doesn't sound that weird or gross to me. so she pooped in the litter box? She wanted to see what its like to be a cat, maybe?

My first thought is that making a big deal out of it is making it more of a fascination to her. Even if you present a calmer facade than you descibe here, if she thinks you're "disgusted" or "really upset", she may continue.

I think being matter of fact & repetitive without shame or guilt or judgement is best. I.e. as calmly & even-toned as possible: "Yes, I see you pooped in the cat box but you know people poop in the potty. I expect you to poop in the toilet next time. Here is the scooper, please clean that up."

Then move along. I really think it is a phase which will pass if not too much attention is given

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I guess I'm kind of weird, but DD (3.75) is having a pee/poop fascination right now, too. I figure its all about exploration, discovery, and control - just being a little scientist. I'd have no issues with her pooping in the cat box, actually, except that I'd want her to ask me first so that I could make sure it was clean enough for her and then assist with cleanup afterwards. Last night she wanted to pee in a bowl, so I helped her. She was giggly and fascinated. It kind of seems to me the sooner she gets whatever needs around this she has satisfied (curiousity? control? experimentation? who knows what exactly she's getting) the sooner it will pass.

[harrietsmama]

I agree with others about the curiosity them - explore it until she's sick of it. I have a feeling she is incredibly intelligent, and has an immense imagination. It can be hard to switch gears, but I think ours is one of the first generations to honor kids like this instead of 'punishing' their curiosity away.

FWIW my son's class at school just dissected owl pellets and he brought home bones & stuff. It sounds gross to me, but otoh, I can see why he enjoyed it so much. How often do you get to get into something really 'gross' and have an adult encourage you and even teach you about how it works start to finish!

[~PurityLake~]

The most recent problem I've had in this area is my daughter's desire to remove the floor heating vents and urinate in the floor hole... not okay. I just told her that is not where we go pee, we go pee in the toilet. Going pee in the heat vent can make a big hard to clean mess.

She hasn't done this in quite a while, now that I think about it, but I really didn't like that.

[nalo]

I completely think this is within the realm of normal and will pass with time. I do agree with many of the PP's suggestions though for how to deal.

[chaoticzenmom]

I've always just assumed that kids have a poop fascination. My kids always checked out their diapers before I flushed the contents. Even as young as 18mo. They look before they flush and sometimes, they've even called us in to check out poop that they consider extraordinary.LOL We've talked about their poop and I sometimes ask them how they're pooping and how often because I want them to pay attention to that kind of health indicator. If they're not pooping often or have hard poops, we talk about water and nutrition,etc.

My son went through a poop in the yard phase.

So, my advice is to just go with it a little. Poop is a big deal. It's a huge indicator of health or lack of. Maybe she hasn't been involved enough in her poop which is causing the fascination.

[Embee]

Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie

I guess I'm kind of weird, but DD (3.75) is having a pee/poop fascination right now, too. I figure its all about exploration, discovery, and control - just being a little scientist. I'd have no issues with her pooping in the cat box, actually, except that I'd want her to ask me first so that I could make sure it was clean enough for her and then assist with cleanup afterwards. Last night she wanted to pee in a bowl, so I helped her. She was giggly and fascinated. It kind of seems to me the sooner she gets whatever needs around this she has satisfied (curiousity? control? experimentation? who knows what exactly she's getting) the sooner it will pass.

B'ham, everytime I read one of your posts... I smile.

IME, when DS is obsessed with something it's because he has a deep need to explore it. If exploratory efforts are thwarted in anyway--including getting the smallest hint from me that I'd rather he find something else to obsess about--it only serves to perpetuate his obsession. He clings to it all the more because his curiosity is deep and his will to follow his curiosity is strong. If he feels I'm threatening his natural impulse to explore any particular curiosity, he guards that obsession with his life. It can be hard... and sometimes disgusting or annoying beyond belief. But I find the more I tune in, validate, play along, keep my reactions matter of fact, and assist where necessary, he moves on... eventually. When he's ready. In the midst of things it can seem like we've been in one place FOREVER. That said, any attempt by me to shut it down tends adds to the time we spend on it.

Hang in there, mama. I totally get that "wishing we were in another place" feeling. I know it's not much comfort now, but this too shall pass. If it helps, I found ages 4-6 were HUGELY bodily function obsessed. DS rarely peed in the house (he preferred the back porch ). It seemed he would never stop, but one day... he did. Of course, he has plenty of other attributes that cause us to say, "raised by wolves" on a daily basis.

The best,
Em

[harrietsmama]

Originally Posted by ~Purity♥Lake~

The most recent problem I've had in this area is my daughter's desire to remove the floor heating vents and urinate in the floor hole... not okay. I just told her that is not where we go pee, we go pee in the toilet. Going pee in the heat vent can make a big hard to clean mess.

She hasn't done this in quite a while, now that I think about it, but I really didn't like that.

I hear ya, it wasn't pee, but my ds went through a phase of filling the bedroom duct *full* of toys, clothes, what every would go. I can't tell you how many times we had to take apart the ducts & furnace to empty it out.:

Pee would stink forever!!!

[Ofwait]

I would get a good childs science book or anatomy book.
Also rather than ignoring it, I would take some time to have a real chat about what kind of behavior and talk it apropriate where. Like you can't talk about all the bodily functions you want in the bathroom at home, but not at the table, or at the park etc.