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would you be mad??  

post #1 of 34
11/11/08 at 11:56am
Thread Starter 
if you were invited to Sunday dinner at the inlaws, and you got there and mil kissed all of you including your ds, 2 years old, didnt act like herself, played with your ds, then disapeared into the bedroom, and you were never told all day she was sick with a stomach flu! and she was KISSING your kid..

fastforward to today, your ds who has never had a stomach flu, acts cranky all day, and has now puked more than 10 times in 30 minutes!!

when dh calls her, she says nothing about your ds being sick... (if it was me, and I exposed a child to the flu, and they got sick, even if it wasnt from me, I would feel terrible)

can I be mad at mil??

ok, and now that ds is sick and puking, how can I help him??

thanks
post #2 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:15pm
Permission to be mad granted.

Advice for a sick 2 year old? Ugh, you have my sympathy. Keep him hydrated as best you can. Hopefully the puking will run its course and you won't have to keep cleaning it up. Otherwise....my kids could never seem to grasp the concept of throwing up in a potty. Keep a ziplock (sturdy, no holes) bag on you at all times so you can just whip it out as needed.

Maybe your dh should call your mil, ask how long she was sick so you will know how long ds will be sick. I DO mean this in a snarky way.

Good luck
post #3 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:23pm
Ugh, yes I would be mad.

I agree that the best thing to do is just keep him hydrated. Keep him nursing even if he throws up. Dehydration is not fun for anyone. Poor kiddo.
post #4 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:31pm
Yes, I think I would be upset. My MIL is antisocial though, so I don't have that problem.
post #5 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:45pm
Yes, I'd be mad. I'm also mad when my friend invites us over for a playdate (same day, not planned in advance) and fails to mention that her kid has a bad cold, getting my asthmatic toddler sick so she has to go on albuterol and steroids.

I had assumed that everyone is like me and warns people before exposing little ones to bad germs, but that doesn't seem to be the case. (I'm sure some people actually think it's good for kids to get exposed to germs, and I'm not even saying they're wrong - but, I choose to avoid them.) So given that not everyone seems think the way I do, I've decided to start asking people directly, right before we come over, "Is everyone healthy today?" If not, then I'll decide whether to cancel or limit physical contact depending on the circumstances.
post #6 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:49pm
Oh yeah, I would be mad. I always warn my family if dc or I am sick, and they want us to stay away. But for Halloween they HAD to have a party and we HAD to go, when we got there my BIL was really sick. He had the flu and was having stomach problems as well. I was washing hands all night. Had I known he was ill, we would have done the same thing my family does and stayed home!
post #7 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:52pm
I'd be STEAMING:
post #8 of 34
11/11/08 at 12:52pm
I wouldn't be upset. Kids get sick.
post #9 of 34
11/11/08 at 1:25pm
First, is your MIL aware of how "people get sick". Some people just don't understand how germs spread. But its worth talking with her about keeping her sick germs to herself and not ever exposing your dc to them in the future.
post #10 of 34
11/11/08 at 1:40pm
I'd be mad as heck.

However, I would console myself that it was bound to happen someday anyway, and each episode helps build immunity to make the next one less severe. It can't be avoided forever.

Is he still nursing? The first time DD got the stomach virus (she was two) I kept her hydrated and comforted by letting her nurse and nurse and nurse. Its all we did for four days.

A typical pattern is to vomit a bunch each hour for about 6-8 hours, then get a break for 12-16 hours, then start again the next day. During that break frozen diluted apple juice popsicles or other fluids for hydration are good, and stick with the BRAT diet because it will be followed by diarrhea (if the diarrhea hasn't already started yet). Avoid dairy at all costs, even yogurt, as many of the stomach viruses cause a temporary dairy intolerance which will increase vomitting and diarrhea.
post #11 of 34
11/11/08 at 4:03pm
I'd probably make it in the future to ask every single time you are supposed to have a visit with them if anyone in the household has been sick lately. She might get the hint after 6 months or a year of this.
post #12 of 34
11/11/08 at 4:05pm
I would be extremely angry. My MIL would definitely be receiving a not-so-nice phone call from me. I'm all about keeping the peace in a family, but getting the kids sick knowingly is crossing the line.
post #13 of 34
11/11/08 at 4:53pm
Permission very much granted to be mad! My mom would have called to re-schedual if she had so much as a sniffle that morning... My dad is just a little less strict about it, but he would have politely declined kisses and hugs.

Yes kids get sick... but it shouldn't be because of carelessness on the part of an adult.
post #14 of 34
11/11/08 at 5:11pm
Thread Starter 
Thanks, I am glad I am not being overdramatic...

I realise kids get sick.. I dont disinfect anything, I let him ride in the cart, I let him dig in/eat the dirt... but I DO have a problem with an adult, who should have the knowledge of germs and how they are spread, being sick and knowing it, and NOT telling us, and KISSING us anyway..

I completely understand not cancelling.. had she called us, I most likely would have gone, and just kept us away from her.. but the thing that really makes my blood boil is she never mentioned one word.. even at the end, when we were leaving, she still kissed us all goodbye, not one word..

dh called to tell her he was mad, and she blew it off as usual... ugh.. I will make a point to ask if they are all healthy everytime we see them..

oh I am slowly having enough of the inlaws..

ds wont eat or drink anything.. he is still nursing, but I dont think he gets out a lot of milk.. he's sleeping now.. I hope tomorrow he is feeling better..

thank you so much for the replies!!
post #15 of 34
11/11/08 at 5:31pm
Oh yeah I'd be mad and like you I understand that folk get sick and there's not a great deal we can do about it, but to knowingly infect you that's a whole different kettle of fish! As for what to do for your ds nurse nurse nurse, even if you don't think he's getting much, that breastmilk is concentrated with all the antibodies he needs to fight this and feel so much better, you're doing a great job! - just be warned that sometimes they can go back to nursing like a newborn!!!
post #16 of 34
11/11/08 at 9:25pm
Yup, I'd be really upset!
post #17 of 34
11/11/08 at 9:36pm
I'd be irritated, but assume it was a type of "accident".
Unless you think she really intended to get your kid sick on purpose.
post #18 of 34
11/11/08 at 10:23pm
I didn't read all the posts but, yes, I'd be pissed. Forget about the kissing - they should have told you not to come to their house in the first place!
post #19 of 34
11/11/08 at 11:15pm
I'd be mad.

I realize that germs happen, he could have picked it up at the grocery store, but if you KNOW you are batteling a nasty bug keep it to yourself!!
post #20 of 34
11/12/08 at 1:34am
I wouldn't be mad. I don't go to much effot to sheild my kids from germs. I do think it i odd she would host company while having the stomache flew though. even if she didn't kiss him those gems are all over the house (and moe likely transmited though something other than a kiss)
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