I'm about halfway through reading this thread and I am already jumping up and down going "mememememe!!!" I can relate to so much of what everyone has said.
I just stared to type out basically what I already did on this thread
. I think I am just really upset right now and need to get it out over and over.
My mother is the type who is perfect and everyone should see that and obey her and never question her. Everyone else, however, is vindictive and out to get her.
No one suffers more than my mother. No one has had a more painful history or is in as much physical and emotional pain now.
She is unwilling to work for anything. Why should she? She has no need to and no responsibility. Why should she pay her bills or help out or keep her promises? That's everyone else's job.
We shouldn't talk about things unless she wants to and then we have to whether we are ready or not.
We should just forgive her for what we think she did because she said she was sorry (not sincerely but hey she didn't really do it, right?) but when we have done something wrong to her (always) she will bring it up for decades.
If you are anything different then she is you are so far gone and so wrong that she doesn't even feel the need to look at you- unless of course you have something to offer her like money or a ride or a pat on the back.
My mom always has to have people who will hang on her every word and treat her like a god. If you don't you are being cruel. And if you don't let her get away with calling you names or treating you like garbage you are also being cruel and horrid to poor little sick her.
Oh and she is sick so everything bad she does is automatically excused and must be forgotten.
Everything is everyone else's fault.
When faced with her own short coming she declares "yes I am just so abusive/horrible/a terrible mother/etc" in a condescending tone and then stomps off. See people only confront her when they want to make her hurt and when they want to make themselves feel better. If you press too hard she declares she is going to slit her wrists or throat. And you don't have to be an adult to get this reply from her. My little sister was crying at her for missing something or other that was important to her and she got the "yes I am a horrible mother! I'll just go slit my wrists would that make you happy?" my poor sister was begging her not to and my mother was getting so much joy out of it, you could tell.
Ok deep breath!
I need to get her out of our lives but as I said in that other post I have a lot of guilt.
I can relate with those who have said they miss family- not *their* family but family. I do too. I am so sad about us having just us for holidays and birthdays. But you know it's a really good thing i think. It's not like we are hurting for numbers