joining in on this group. i'm not on speaking terms with my parents because they have continually supported my abusive/ alcoholic ex husband through my divorce - giving him large sums of money, helping him 'plot' to try to force me to stay for 9 months after I made it clear I was done with him. I don't have the stomach right now to detail out the rest of what they did, but suffice it to say, even after confronting them, they seem oblivious to their wrongs. they're ultra conservative pro-marriage even-if-it's-hell people.
I don't miss actually interacting with them much - they were often a headache as they have no sense of normal boundaries. my dad is always trying to guilt you into doing things you don't want to in front of other people and conniving ways to rope you into arrangements you don't like. My mom is a wife-submission hard core woman and went along with some things I think are downright evil to support my dad.
I do wish I could talk with him about some business things occasionally and I hate it that they are hurting not getting to speak to their daughter. I have actually let them see the kids twice this past year. They're also racist and homophobic and a bunch of other things I don't want my kids to be exposed to too much, regardless of the bigger issues.
The situation hurts me though a lot. I dream about them a lot. I'm sad knowing that they don't have the capacity to love me the way I love my kids. I want my kids to be happy in life no matter what road that leads them down. I want to support them without judgment or disappointment if they don't make me look good to whatever social group I belong to.
My parents have long hinted that they want me to take care of them financially as soon as I possibly can. That just sucks. I hope my kids never give me money. That's just wrong on so many levels.
I'd better stop before I get too far into the mud of this relationship. D*** there's a lot of hurt in there.