I messed up.......

[tireesix]

DD3 (she was 8 days old 2 days ago) got a temp of over 38 onSunday and wasn't herself, we ended up in A+E seeing a paed and she was admitted.

She ended up having bloods done, IV antibiotics and a lumbar puncture.

I should have questioned the lumbar puncture but I was scared. It was awful.

It turned out she had a urine infection but they kinda did everythng backwards. I feel awful. We only got out of hospital today, they wanted us in for 48 hour antibiotics.

I just feel like I should have questioned more, I should have protected her from that lumbar puncture. My mind just keeps going back there.

If they had just done the urine test first but everyone was worried about meningitis etc.

[earthmama369]

Time is important in things like that. DS had a high fever at 8 days old and was hospitalized for 3 days, and they also did a spinal tap on admission, in addition to a catheter and a blood draw. Yes, it was horrible. But they were trying to get as many answers as possible, as quickly as possible, to prevent damage and complications. If they were wrong about the urine test results, but waited on those to start the other tests, valuable time could have been lost for treatment.

:

I know how awful it feels to watch your baby go through that. I hope she's feeling better now.

[tireesix]

Antibiotics seem to have done the trick, she is 'brighter' than she was, she is on oral antibiotics for the next few days and having a scan next week to make sure all is ok.

I just felt so useless.

[ewe+lamb]

OH s for you, of course you haven't messed up, it's a difficult call and I can sympathise with you - it happened to us too, although ds was 36 hours old - I still get angry when I think about it - anyway this isn't about me, but you - you're home now you can look after your wee one and love and cherish maybe get a few hours to re-establish the bond, bath with baby and baby massage , it'll all work out fine, I'm so sorry that you have had to go through this, put into these situations with all the medics and authority we end up doing things that sometimes we would question when in a non-panicked state, it's terrifying and you did what you needed to do at that moment. Lots more s to you and your family.

[Ofwait]

It is awful, to have to watch your child go through pain. I have been there.

s to you, and glad she is feeling better.

[calebsmommy25]

I don't think you messed up at all. I know it is sooo painful to see your baby go through these tests. The night my little one was born he was tested for low blood sugar because he had some odd behavior, it wasn't it, so the nurse didn't think anything else of it. The next day the morning nurse saw some more odd behavior, and took him in for observation. They discovered he was having seizures and upon further examination and being sent to another hospital we found out he had a stroke. Unfortunately, since there is not much that is known about infant/pediatric stroke they ran a HUGE battery of tests to try and find out what happened, and what caused it...after lumbar punctures, ct scans/mris, tons of blood work, etc they still didn't find out what caused it. In 1 out of 3 infant stroke cases, no cause is found! It is so awful to see your baby go through tests, but in our case if the nurse hadn't second guessed his behavior we might have never known and not had the proper precautionary programs in place for him.

Don't feel bad Mama. You are a good Mom. I know these tests are awful, and seemed unecessary since it was a urine infection, but it needed to be done to make sure your little bird was okay. I hope your little girl is feeling better!!! Give her some TLC, it will make both of you feel good!

[Trinitty]

Oh my....

Momma, I'm so sorry that you and your little one went through that so soon after birth.

Do NOT beat yourself up. You did not mess up. You are eight days post-birth. You are very open to fear right now. Your mind is clouded with urges to nurse and comfort, not standard hospital procedure and orders of tests, etc.

You were scared for your baby and you trusted those around you and you trusted in their concern for your dear daughter.

Meningitis is SO serious, and it can move so quickly, that those in the ER probably panicked and acted a touch too fast, and perhaps went "by-the-book" without considering how wee your wee one really is.

I, personally, think they could have done a urine test first too, (though I am not in healthcare) but your baby might have had symptoms that alarmed them into aggressive action. Rule-out the very serious/fast problem first, you know? It wouldn't have occured to me to ask them to do it another way in that situation either.

Have a good cry over it, apologise to her if you feel you need to, telling her why it happened and then release it, Momma. Just release it and hold her close and move past it. Baby needs a healthy and happy Momma to make her milk and comfort her.

My heart goes out to you, take care.

Trin.

[XanaduMama]

Originally Posted by Trinitty

Have a good cry over it, apologise to her if you feel you need to, telling her why it happened and then release it, Momma. Just release it and hold her close and move past it. Baby needs a healthy and happy Momma to make her milk and comfort her.

This. Be kind to yourself, mama, and to your sweet baby. Talk to her about it, confess your truest feelings about the whole incident, and she'll forgive you. And release it yourself, too.

As PPs have said, too, give yourselves some special bonding time: lots of skin-to-skin contact (get into bed together, take a warm bath together, wear her against your skin)...just enjoy your new baby.

And give her some infant probiotics, to fix her gut flora after the antibiotics. After all this, you don't want to be dealing with thrush too.

Hugs.

[harrietsmama]

and what every one else said. new babies are fragile! I especially second the probiotics, for a long time, a sterile gut can cause so many long term frustrations, but you have the ability to fix it now. lots of naked time hugging and nursing. You'll both heal from the trauma part, but I honestly think you didn't goof or do anything in the wrong order. fevers in babies are critical because they can't control their own body temp. yet. More and

[Isamama]

Mama!

Time is important in diagnosing meningitis. I am glad it was "only" and urine infection. It must have been beyond horrible to watch and I would be very relieved to know that it wasn't meningitis.

Just not an easy situation. I am glad your little one is on the mend. Great healing to you both!

[LeighB]

Oh, I'm so sorry! but with such a young baby, I think most everyone would have reacted the same way. She has most certainly moved on from this, and still loves you to pieces. You didn't do anything wrong.

[flapjack]

Your actions that night could have saved her life, if the diagnosis was different. You did the right thing, mama.

[MOMYS]

I can just re-itterate what everyone else has already said: You did not mess up! With meningitis time is of the essense...

[~threemoons~]

[VOBetz]

Oh my goodness. Big hugs to you.

I completely agree with the previous posters. Forgive yourself, release it.

I think they may have acted too fast as well... But I also have to think... what if it *hadn't* been a urine infection and they had wasted time doing that before looking at serious issues. I don't want to add fear, I just am trying to look at it from another point of view.

Big Hugs.

[chipper26]

Don't beat yourself up. You were scared and wanted to cover all of the bases. In an emergency type situation you trusted the doctors to help you because you were overwhelmed. Hindsight is 20/20. You are a good mama for taking care of your child in the hospital and you are also a good mama for questioning yourself, because we all worry if we are doing the best for our kids and hate to see them in pain. I'm sorry that you and your LO had to go through that!

[LiamnEmma]

Been there, done that. It's par for the course in a child that small. My dd had it done as well but she was about five weeks old, so it was probably easier to take. It's awful to watch though. And she had a urine infection, with a subsequent and was diagnosed with vesicoureteral reflux after that, ultimately requiring a ureteral reimplantation. Are they doing an ultrasound scan or a VCUG? Often they'll do both. the VCUG is invasive. When we were diagnosed, our ped. urologist taught us to teach nurses to properly catheterize a baby by showing them to pull down on the labia rather than spread the labia. It really helps for urethral visualization and decreases multiple stabs. (hugs) You did the right thing, made all the right decisions. It's traumatic though, I agree.

[LinzMommy2Be]

I had a very similar situation when my DS was 11 days old. I was REALLY upset about the lumbar puncture and felt horrible -the nurse told me that it is protocol for any baby under 2 months who is taken to the ER and is important in diagnosing meningitis and that most new moms don't know what to expect because none of the baby/parenting books tell parents that the lp is required under 2 months in that kind of situation. You did the right thing for your baby.

[esmejoy]

I'm so sorry you and your babe have had to go through this. But, if it helps at all, I'll chime in with the medical perspective. The issue is NOT that the docs did things out of order, too fast etc. The issue is that such a young baby has a very immature immune system, and will have a very hard time *localizing* an infection -- an infection could start anywhere in the body, and end up in the most dangerous place (the central nervous system). Any neonate with a fever is going to get a "full septic workup" -- checking for infection in the lungs, urine, blood, and CNS (the spinal tap). It's horrible to go through, I know, but please don't feel like you should have done something different to protect your child. I wish the people taking care of you had done a better job explaining why all those tests are necessary.

-esme

[KavaKaya]