Rebirthing

[SundayCrepes]

Can you please give me info on rebirthing?

Our adopted baby (3 months yesterday) loves her baths. Yet when I take her out, she gets REALLY upset. The last couple times I wondered if it had something to do with the birthing process. She was just another hospital birth with meconium. The birthmom was so sad to be placing that she didn't want to see her so she went to the nursery right away. Although the nurses there were very nice, they were just nurses. We got there 1 minute before she turned 6 hours and I nursed her right away. But shr spent her first 6 hours being the adoption baby.

So I've seen some references here to rebirthing and I wondered if that would help with her response to being taken out of the bathtub and anything else she might need help with. (She is a really happy baby, overall.)

Her adoption will be finalized this Saturday and that seems like a good day to do it.

Thanks

[JamieCatheryn]

I've read about it for helping to correct latch problems with newborns, sort of re-enacting a water birth by submerging baby up to the shoulders for about one minute then pulling them out and placing on momma's chest (also in the tub) to stimulate newborn breast-crawl reflexes. Sounds not that far from a normal bath with mom to me but might be good ritual your family and soothing for your daughter. Also, it's normal for babies not to be fond transitioning away from something they like, maybe there's nothing more to it than that.

[pumpkingirl71]

My understanding is that rebirthing is dangerous and has led to several deaths.

I am sure your baby is grieving the loss of her birthmother, but her response to leaving the bath may be part of it, or it may be normal baby behavior.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by pumpkingirl71

My understanding is that rebirthing is dangerous and has led to several deaths.

How awful.

I would not do anything dangerous. Perhaps we'll just take a bath together as pp suggests.

It could be she's just cold when she gets out of tub.

[AlpineMama]

Originally Posted by pumpkingirl71

My understanding is that rebirthing is dangerous and has led to several deaths.

Can you clarify, please? What part is dangerous?

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

I believe pumpkingirl is referring to "rebirthing" as it has been used (rarely, I think) as a treatment for attachment disorder in older children. (There was a Law and Order episode about this, which led to great public awareness). Therapists smothered the children in blankets to simulate their emergence from the womb, and some were actually smothered to death.

I don't think that has much to do with what the original poster is asking about, though.

[Rockies5]

Originally Posted by AlpineMama

Can you clarify, please? What part is dangerous?

rebirthing itself isn't dangerous. But this case made the news several years back, and an adoptive child was suffocated.
http://archives.cnn.com/2001/LAW/04/17/rebirthing.ban/

[AlpineMama]

Wow...

[tiffani]

oh. my. god. that has to be one of the saddest stories I've ever heard.

probably not what you had in mind, mybabysmama? I'm sure there are gentler ways to recreate the birthing process, and kudos to you for being sensitive to your daughters needs.

I have to go scrub my brain after reading that article...

[SundayCrepes]

[QUOTE=tiffani;12593145probably not what you had in mind, mybabysmama? I'm sure there are gentler ways to recreate the birthing process, and kudos to you for being sensitive to your daughters needs.([/QUOTE]

I thought rebirthing was in the tub and gentle as the very first respondent posted.

[Sarahbunny]

I only know about the rebirthing as far as older children. I'm glad that's not what you meant!

I would think there is a good chance that baby hates being taken out of the water because it's cold and shocking. Maybe warm a towel in the dryer? Or bathing with baby would be nice too, although I always found them so slippery. Like bathing with an octopus.

But, you are her mama, so if you feel like you should do something, then I say do it! I just wouldn't necessarily equate upset from bath with adoption grief. I think it is awesome that you are so in tune with her though and that you are on the look out.

Finalization is very exciting! I hope you are going to have some take pictures or videotape it! Gosh, that was a really great day for our family. I'll never forget it. Congratulations!

[pumpkingirl71]

Originally Posted by AlpineMama

Can you clarify, please? What part is dangerous?

I actually don't know any details, but my dd's doctor used it as an example of problems with attachment therapy. She told me it has happened several times.

[Momily]

I'm a big advocate of taking baths with your baby. I can imagine that leaving the warm tub in the arms of a loving mama who is covered in the same warm water might be a great transition strategy. However, I have to say that I wouldn't label it "rebirthing".

Whether or not it was "perfect" your child's birth was about the only thing she and her first mother shared. I'm probably reading way too much into it, but "rebirthing" with you in the mother role, seems too much like trying to deny or replace that experience.

[Serenyd]

Originally Posted by JamieCatheryn

Also, it's normal for babies not to be fond transitioning away from something they like, maybe there's nothing more to it than that.

Sounds like she might just be mad because she's not ready to get out yet. She might be a little high-strung, like my son. He started throwing fits about little stuff like fun games ending when he was tiny tiny, probably only a month old.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Momily

I'm a big advocate of taking baths with your baby. I can imagine that leaving the warm tub in the arms of a loving mama who is covered in the same warm water might be a great transition strategy. However, I have to say that I wouldn't label it "rebirthing".

I loved taking baths together when my son was a baby. I just find it too overwhelming to bathe with the baby at this time. I know my son will want to be in the tub. Not only does baby safety feels tenuous under those circumstances, but it ceases to be a bonding moment with me and baby and it becomes more focused on my larger than life son. As she outgrows the baby tub we'll all take a bath together, but she'll be older, I'll be more experienced as a mom of two, and we'll make it work.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Serenyd

Sounds like she might just be mad because she's not ready to get out yet. She might be a little high-strung, like my son. He started throwing fits about little stuff like fun games ending when he was tiny tiny, probably only a month old.

Could be, though this is the only thing she gets upset about.

[SundayCrepes]

Originally Posted by Momily

Whether or not it was "perfect" your child's birth was about the only thing she and her first mother shared. I'm probably reading way too much into it, but "rebirthing" with you in the mother role, seems too much like trying to deny or replace that experience.

I wish my baby had shared her birth with her birthmom, but it sounds more like an event than a shared experience. I know the birthmom was VERY stressed during her pregnancy and though it seems unlikely, I hope they got to share some positive moments during those months.

I'm not trying to take the experience away from her. IF (and who know IF is true) her upset getting out of the tub is more than baby upset, I want to help her come to terms with it. I want her to know her birth was a good thing and not a mechanical, loveless event. The birthmom clearly loves her. I'm sure it was for her own protection that she didn't want to see or hold the baby. However, I want my baby to know that. I want my baby to know that when you leave the security of the womb, the world really does love you.

[DoingDoing:Julie]

Originally Posted by Momily

I'm a big advocate of taking baths with your baby. I can imagine that leaving the warm tub in the arms of a loving mama who is covered in the same warm water might be a great transition strategy. However, I have to say that I wouldn't label it "rebirthing".

Whether or not it was "perfect" your child's birth was about the only thing she and her first mother shared. I'm probably reading way too much into it, but "rebirthing" with you in the mother role, seems too much like trying to deny or replace that experience.

it seems like there is truth in these statements.

[snowbunny81]

Originally Posted by mybabysmama

Can you please give me info on rebirthing?

Our adopted baby (3 months yesterday) loves her baths. Yet when I take her out, she gets REALLY upset. The last couple times I wondered if it had something to do with the birthing process. She was just another hospital birth with meconium. The birthmom was so sad to be placing that she didn't want to see her so she went to the nursery right away. Although the nurses there were very nice, they were just nurses. We got there 1 minute before she turned 6 hours and I nursed her right away. But shr spent her first 6 hours being the adoption baby.

So I've seen some references here to rebirthing and I wondered if that would help with her response to being taken out of the bathtub and anything else she might need help with. (She is a really happy baby, overall.)

Her adoption will be finalized this Saturday and that seems like a good day to do it.

Thanks

Honestly, she sounds like she just likes baths and doesn't want to get out. I mean, it's understandable - getting out of the tub is cold and interrupts the fun of splashing in the water! My baby has always been upset about getting out of the tub and she had a pretty normal birth in a birth center, got held and nursed right as soon as she was out, etc. I wouldn't worry about it.

And I have always took baths with my baby. I just now have started putting her in the tub by herself in a tub seat because she's so wiggly that it just seems safer, and she's less interested in cuddling and more into splashing around anyway. But when she was tiny I used to do swaddle baths a lot, where she gets wrapped in a warm, wet towel. Sometimes that helped with the transition from the tub, too.

Congrats on your new addition! You're doing great, mama.

[llamalluv]

Originally Posted by mybabysmama

It could be she's just cold when she gets out of tub.

That's what I would go with. Heat the bathroom, and keep a warm towel at the ready. If you can, move the bathing to the kitchen - if that's warmer. My baby sister used to throw such fits when we took her out of the bath - she was a winter baby, and it was cold in our bathroom until she was about 4 months old.