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For those with older nurslings - when do you stop telling people? - Page 2

post #21 of 62
Everyone still knows at this point. And I can't see myself hiding it later. But who knows. He is 18 months. Although our nursing in public has greatly decreased as he is down to nursing upon waking, for nap, bedtime, and once through the night.
post #22 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by PiePie View Post
i love this

I feel like when I compare it to something people are familiar with, sometimes they just stop argueing with me... it seems the general public has just enough info about breastfeeding for them to feel comfortable speaking out about it, but sounds stupid when they do...

those more educated on it tend to get "preachy" (myself included) in an effort to convert people to pro breatfeeding, or pro extended breastfeeding. It usually ends up in an arguement or an "agree to disagree situation" and I still feel frustrated.
When I compare it something else people seem more receptive.
post #23 of 62
Honestly, I will tell anyone who will listen for as long as I'm breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is who I am now and anyone not on board with that is not on board with ME. See, my mother is a WIC educator and she lost a breast three years ago to breast cancer, so she is very supportive of me nursing my son for as long as possible. Anyone who questions or is disgusted is quick to get a lecture on WHY I'm nursing, and I am of the opinion that if someone has a problem with me protecting myself from breast cancer in the only pro-active way I know how, then they have some serious re-thinking to do on the issue. When I told my brother, who was a little astonished that I was nursing past one year, about the protective benefits he never said another word to me about it and rightly so. He does make jokes about it, but he jokes about everything and as long as I'm not being criticized I'm cool... but the second someone gets snarky or rude they've got it comin'!
post #24 of 62
I openly tell people that my toddler nurses as much (or more) than my newborn. It's my way of "normalizing" breastfeeding.

I don't care much what people think about it.
post #25 of 62
I'll stop telling the world I am nursing when my DS (34 months) does He is such a boob man that when I am with him he almost always puts nursies into context of conversation. Also though, 98% of the people we are around either have nursing toddlers around the same age, or are like minded, or are family and don't have any say in the matter and they know that
post #26 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by BnInTheOvn View Post

The reaction i really hate is "it just LOOKS wrong to have a child that old nursing, if their old enough to ask for it then they are too old!"
or....
"The mom must be getting something sick out of it if she's doing it that long!"

Anyone who thinks moms get something sick out of nursing a toddler, DEFINITELY have never done it!!!
post #27 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewMama2007 View Post
Shoot, I keep talking about how we're still nursing just BECAUSE it makes my IL's uncomfortable!
laughup: Oh that is so funny!! Sounds good to me...I'm still nursing my 17 month old. When he was only 3 weeks old my MIL asked if I was *still* nursing him! No, he's eating hamburgers right now...
post #28 of 62
well, i just had a best friend make a comment to me today about how my 6 month old ds looks so big now and how it's kinda weird for her to imagine me breastfeeding him. she said don't let that deter me from continuing but she was saying it as if i should stop cuz it's weird to her.

geez, i dont know how im gonna make it to 2 years. but im gonna breastfeed my child as long as we so desire, gosh darn it! i would give my life for my child, of course i'm going to breastfeed as long as possible if it means it will be providing my child the best, it's a small price to pay...people are so ignorant and it makes me so mad that we don't get the support we so deserve.

:
post #29 of 62
It doesn't come up after six months really with people I dont know well. Everyone just assumes you've weaned them. I still nurse in public. No one has ever made a rude comment to me or said anything at all. If they did, I would just be like, well, he's never been sick, so it's working for us so far. Or something to that effect.
post #30 of 62
Oh, I love volunteering that kind of info. Its just so unheard of here, as we have *the* lowest BF'ing rate in the US (I'm in Louisiana). Unfortunately, I can't say that I'm still nursing my 3.5yo, but I'd love to be able to say that I were. So usually I use my sister as an example. Whenever someone asks about my sister (she used to work where I work now) or brings up BF'ing, I'll somehow sneak it into the conversation that she is "still" nursing her 15mo. Nine times out of ten, people are like "OMG, she's STILL doing that".

I do the same thing regarding circ. We have a cook at work who's brother "outed" him and his intact status. And every time someone makes a comment about "gross uncircumcised penises", I raise my eyebrows and say "uhhh, my son and my nephew both have their foreskin and that is perfectly normal". Seeing as how the south also has the highest circ rate in the US, people are quite shocked/disgusted by that too.
post #31 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by astromama View Post
Honestly, I will tell anyone who will listen for as long as I'm breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is who I am now and anyone not on board with that is not on board with ME. See, my mother is a WIC educator and she lost a breast three years ago to breast cancer, so she is very supportive of me nursing my son for as long as possible. Anyone who questions or is disgusted is quick to get a lecture on WHY I'm nursing, and I am of the opinion that if someone has a problem with me protecting myself from breast cancer in the only pro-active way I know how, then they have some serious re-thinking to do on the issue. When I told my brother, who was a little astonished that I was nursing past one year, about the protective benefits he never said another word to me about it and rightly so. He does make jokes about it, but he jokes about everything and as long as I'm not being criticized I'm cool... but the second someone gets snarky or rude they've got it comin'!
I use the decrease risk of breast cancer arguement too. I have a strong family history of breast cancer so I will continue to bf as long as possible. Everyone in my family knows this. That is just one of many reasons.

I don't usually offer to tell anyone we are still bf @ 25 months. I will talk about how important bf is and how it should be done as long as the dyad is happy. I try distracting DS when we are in public but I am not afraid to NIP if necessary. I think it's better than seeing a tantruming toddler
post #32 of 62
Quote:
Originally Posted by lurve View Post
DD is 22 months and i keep proudly telling people she nurses and we do it in public too (and i am not very discrete). i figure i am helping to normalize it so others will have an easier time. and i am proud that i still nurse. and i enjoy it.
I'm with you. My DS is only 14mo. but he's very tall and has 12 teeth so he looks a lot older. I intentionally bf in public and talk about it w/ friends so that more people will see it's normal.

and I love how this is put. I'll have to use the first couple sentences next time someone looks incredulous.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maggirayne View Post
: We do not choose to breastfeed. We can choose not to. Likewise, we do not choose to breastfeed in public. We can choose not to. Breastfeeding is not a cultural construct. Not breastfeeding, is.
this blogpost.
post #33 of 62
Eventually they assume you're done and stop asking
post #34 of 62
My daughter started nursing again at age four and we haven't told anyone. The only people that know are my husband, my girls, and me. I don't think it's anyone elses buisness to know. My other daughter Leah nursed till 3 and a half and our family knew and they always shared there little comments. Thats why we decided to not tell them about Hannah nursing again.
post #35 of 62
People around here (rural north Louisiana) have made it very clear that they think it's gross/disgusting/weird that I'm "still" nursing my 17-month-old. Whatever. I'll tell people I nurse him until the day he stops nursing.
post #36 of 62
There are some really funny responses in this thread. And some really sad and frustrating ones too (that receptionist that called the PP disgusting would have gotten an earful along with the doctor that employs her!)

When DD was a few months shy of 2 my MIL came for a visit. She was shocked when she saw me nurse DD. The a few months later I really upset her when I nursed my very tiered DD in public. Thankfully she is not one to say anything but the look on her face made me feel really uncomfortable.

I asked DD to try and wait to nurse in the car or at home when she was 2 1/2 just because I started to feel uncomfortable. I still nursed with her if she couldn't wait but I did encourage her to try.

She still nurses at 5 years old and I do not advertise it. But I will share it if it feels relevant to a conversation (like if I am talking to someone about nursing and it helps someone to know) or if some one asks "When did DD wean."

I do feel conflicted about not being more open. I think it's important to let people see that EBF is happening and is normal. But I also feel protective of my family and do not want to invite any negativity. I feel pretty good about the fact that I was completely open about nursing for 2 years. I think I did my part for setting a good example.

I sometimes think that nursing a toddler is shocking enough for most people, nursing a 5 year old is just going to turn people off, not open minds. I wish I lived near my EBF friends still. I think I would feel a lot more open about it.
post #37 of 62
Im still pretty open about it but DD is only 22months right now. Ive gotten a few "you have to wean" comments but most people are very supportive. My Bishop's wife was really happy that I didn't wean DD when I was pregnant like a lot of people do. She told me that one of her biggest regrets as a parent was allowing people to pressure her to wean her oldest two before either of them was ready.
Being open about it can have unforeseen benefits for others as well: I was in the mother's room nursing both girls when a lady walked in her her 13 month old and I could tell she was a little embarrassed. She made a comment about how she just can't seem to get the baby to wean so I told her about DD1 still nursing and all the benefits that come along with it. She seemed relieved to have someone that wasn't going to judge her and she didn't know that it was ok to breastfeed past a year. She said she was going to reconsider weaning since obviously its fine to continue on.
post #38 of 62
I'm naturally more closed about it as we reach 6-9 months.* Quite honestly I just don't have the energy to deal with people's ugliness.Now, the ladies in church know i'm still nursing my 19 month old, since I occasionally pop into the nursing room for a quiet spot to feed him.* Last Sunday actually I was hearing the conversation in the main room* "Did you nurse?"* "Oh, yeah, for three months and then I was *done*"* "I know the doctor's say it is best, but mine survived on formula" blah, blah, blah.* And then I walked out with my hulk of a 19 month old, with his blissed out milky smil on his face and they just stared.
post #39 of 62
my son is 20 months and still nursing on demand and nursing overnight. I have not intention of stopping until he makes that decision. I would like to keep nursing him until we have a second child. We're a two uterus family and mine won't be carrying the second but I'd like to be able to nurse him/her, so I'd like to keep the boobs going. I'm a very open person so I tell people that I'm still nursing and plan to keep nursing. It's very nice, snuggly and sweet time for me and DS which I'm not willing to give up.
post #40 of 62
I just tell them the truth, and proudly. He's 3 and still nursing a couple of times a day. In this situation, i consider it my duty to educate the ignorant so to speak. If they disapprove, it is because they dont know any better. I am proud that we are still nursing.
Ive never experienced disapproval. Some people say,' isnt he lucky', usually because they know the benefits(like his preschool teacher for eg.)

Also, i nurse in public at times, because its convenient, and that is when ds asks for it. If other people feel embarrassed, thats their problem. Ive only ever once experienced a look of disapproval, but i wasnt sure if it was disapproval, or admiration/awe.
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