What woud your dp do if you died?

[Chinese Pistache]

Not to be morbid, but I was thinking about this last night after dh brought me the wrong brand of oats from WF (he goes by there on his way home from work). Granted, none of our kids has anaphylactic allergies, but obviously, the allergies and intolerances they have wreak havoc on their bodies and emotions. Yesterday, ds who is about the happiest baby in the world, was completely sullen, clingy and almost emotion-less when it came to responding to us. I knew that I'd eaten something that bothered him (still haven't figured it out buckwheat? gelatin? potatoes? cinnamon? peas?); he spit up 2x and he had mucusy poop twice yesterday, when he normally poops once every 4 days and it's not gross.

I'm going to write up a list of information/websites for ds in case something happens to me. I really don't feel that it will (!) but maybe I'm just feeling anxious about the future?? The crummy thing is that the allergy situation is so changing, as you all know. One day ____ food is fine, the next day it's not. And that's not something Dh understands very well.

Blah.

[MoonWillow]

Oh man
Me dying is something that I think about more than I care to admit. Not only about Lucy's allergies but also about vaccines. I have said on more than one occasion that if anyone tried to vax her after I died that I would haunt them in a terribly nasty way

Is your concern that whomever took over the care of your children may not know what they are doing regarding food allergies?
Thats what scares me. :

[Chinese Pistache]

Originally Posted by MotherWren

Oh man
Me dying is something that I think about more than I care to admit. Not only about Lucy's allergies but also about vaccines. I have said on more than one occasion that if anyone tried to vax her after I died that I would haunt them in a terribly nasty way

Is your concern that whomever took over the care of your children may not know what they are doing regarding food allergies?
Thats what scares me. :

Exactly. At least my mil tries hard. She'd most likely be the one to help dh take care of them. I should probably write up a list for HER instead, lol.

[MoonWillow]

My mom tries hard too so I usually don't worry about her, until she gave DD a milk sippy last weekend
She feels horrible about it and probably won't repeat the mistake. G*d knows I've had my own missteps. Sleep deprivation does crazy things to a person. :

[changingseasons]

Oh man... that is morbid. And I have no idea. I think DP would do ok- I'm pretty good at jamming information down his throat, so he knows pretty much everything that I do about the allergy situation. He is sometimes careless with his non-allergy foods (sandwich crumbs all over the kitchen, getting tracked all over the house, butter knife set on the clean counter... ), but I think after a reaction or two he'd wise up quickly.

[Wugmama]

I've been thinking about this. I finally wrote down all of the foods to avoid for Alethea, including in parenthesis other names for things like xanthan gum for corn. I actually told my dh to come to this forum if I die and that you all would help him. He would be easy to spot, his user name is Wugpapa.

Not only do I have those types of morbid thoughts, but I worry about a severe economic depression and not being able to get allergen free food for her, having to give her whatever it is we have to eat. We bought a big bucket of the freeze dried food from costo, the kind with a shelf life of 20 years - add water in an emergency. Well, there is nothing in there that would be safe for her to eat.

~Tracy

[JaneS]

He'd probably be defiant and clueless until DS was a complete mess and then it would occur to him that I was right. I have a lot written down and also our WAPF/allergy dietician is a wonderful resource and friend.

Have you tested salicylates on your DS? (cinnamon is very high)

[mtn.mama]

DH would do fine with Taslyn. He would stick to meat and veggies and rice for her, and if he started running into reactions then he would use the crystal to figure it out. He would ask our chiro and naturopath for advice... the hard part would be what to do with her when he had to be working (flying/guiding). That is the part that troubles me... just the thought of MIL getting involved (in my absence) is enough to make me live through anything!

[kjbrown92]

Morbid, but I guess I'm like that too.
Our food lists are on the refrigerator.
My recipe box has who it is safe for and what day it is safe for, on each recipe card. Plus he could go to my blog and get recipes. hee hee.
I'm actually pretty organized. There's a binder on the kitchen counter with information for each of us (school info goes there, fundraiser forms, ALCAT results - the actual results - the rotation diet is what's on the fridge).
Maybe I should write a list of what I get where... coconut milk and rice noodles at A. Dong's, light buckwheat flour at Hannafords, etc. of course, he wouldn't even know how to get to A. Dong's Market. I'm not worried about that as much though. He'd screw up Christmas though. Again, being anal though, I have what I've bought for everybody and the budget going back to 2002, and the Christmas card list, so maybe he'd figure it out.
Though I don't know who he'd find to take care of the kids. He works rotating shifts. My dad and his girlfriend are in town, but they have cats, which DD1 is allergic too (as well as DH) and the girlfriend is the one who thinks I worry too much about food and kids just scream and I should get over it. That it's more damaging for him to be different than it is to give him bad food. Hello?!?! So I hope they wouldn't be the ones taking care of them (though my kids like them). My mother would love to help but she's neurotic and I don't want her screwing up my kids, and DH doesn't really like her.
You're right though, DH knows I hang out here and I'd just tell him to go here if he has any questions!!

[nalo]

I always think about what would happen if I died. At the moment it's more tied to the breastfeeding issue and not food issues but those are obviously huge. My mom and DH are always up on what is currently eliminated and they would work together to figure it all out. DD's ND knows what's going on and could help alot and DH knows I'm on MDC all the time for allergy issues so hopefully he'd have the ability to think of coming on here to ask for help but I'm not sure, given the trauma that would be occuring. Everyone is totally on board and supportive so I know they would bend over backwards to make sure they were doing the rights things for DD.

[LBMarie9]

just have to say my kids would be pretty sick--just last night i was running around and had errands and meetings and was starving and he made us dinner (a recipe I just omited hte parmesean cheese in the pasta) and we've been eating it that way

WELL I come home and scarf and he's so proud he fed me---then at the end he says--this recipe is so much better with teh parmesean cheese! I about died---HONEY! I can't have cheese! needless to say--I have to be WAY more careful--why did i think that he wouldn't mess up on me when he does it to the kids all the times...

anyway---I was up ALLL night (literally) with my screaming daughter and she is SOOO needy today (I think I might die)---she has thusfar been sleeping through the night for the most part---but was up all night! I realized WOW--cheese is a big one (other mess ups I've had were not cheese--they were like accidental milk as a tiny ingredient in something and those reactions weren't as bad as today)

[matey]

So glad you brought this up, I have been meaning to start a thread about it. DH would be fine, I think, for the most part.

But, the last time we drove home the 2 hours from his parent's house I cried and talked about what would happen if we both died.

Like if there was a car wreck, and Jack survived. I mean what about medical personel, what if they gave him a bottle of milk or formula, thinking that is what you do with babies.

And my BIL, who would be responsible for him, he has pretty much no idea what the whole food thing is. I decided I would make a notebook, and site down and discuss it with my bil and his partner. I need to have peace of mind over this. I am going to go work on it now.

[mommydancer]

That's funny, I thought I was the only one thinking this way. Yeah, DS would be very sick a lot of the time. DH still asks why we can't have regular pancake mix...um, wheat honey...we can't eat wheat...and the flour in here is wheat. The thought is terrifying. And I would say I'd start a file and lists...except I don't know everything myself yet.

[springmum]

I've thought about this too.

I'm worried b/c right now our 6 month old is EBF, and there's no BM stored (b/c what's the point when their's allergens in it) and I have a plan for solids that DH doesn't understand.

What makes it very worrisome is that DH doesn't take it seriously sometimes. He isn't home enough, nor does he get up at night with our little guy, so he doesn't see the reactions. He therefor doesn't really know how vigilant to be.
I keep trying to explain, and remind him and hope that he listens.

I also at least have my mum who takes it all seriously (she raised us taking a more natural/holistic approach) so I know he has someone to turn to. I would hope that he would go to our ND to ask for help as well.

I like the idea of having everything organized and accessible, I think I will make a little list too, and include important phone #'s just in case (and give it to my mum as well.)

We just finished doing our will's so this is why I started thinking of this - I don't think it's morbid, it is sad, but I would much rather my son's health/life be taken care of properly.

Wugmama - we also have an emergency kit with freeze dried food (non safe for our little guy, but great for DH who is type 1 diabetic) so I just do the best I can stocking up on the rice/pasta's/grains that I can.

[kjbrown92]

Hmmm. Now you got me thinking. I was okay with me croaking and DH handling it, because he's on board. But if we both croaked... that would be bad. DD1 (11yo) knows all the food stuff. But the other stuff would be a little much for her. I guess I have to update my death file too. This is ridiculous (but good).