Parents of 3 yr. olds, post here (support thread)! - Page 6

[Qestia]

just subbing, the screaming, I can't take it. I'm so glad right now I WOH and he goes to preschool full time. The long thanksgiving weekend was brutal, screaming for no reason. I have 2 weeks off at xmas, as does ds, and don't know how I'm going to make it.

[catemom]

I'm actually looking forward to the break from school--hopefully by then we will have decided on a new school and disenrolled him from where he is now. He actually got sent home for raspberrying other kids during circle time (the teacher said he was "spitting" on the other kids). I just really don't even want to subject my child to any more of this teacher blowing normal three year old behavior out of proportion. Maybe his teacher might fit better in a position where her stern teaching style is appreciated (like a prison or an old-fashioned Catholic school). We might play hookey from school on Monday so I don't have to try to keep myself from telling this woman exactly what I think of her classroom management style. :::

[shayinme]

My dd is driving us mad this weekend and of course its coinciding with the beginning of my cycle , so I am already not in the best space. Tis the weekend for public meltdowns : which of course make me feel even worse. Ok, I am being called...

[jrpbrown1]

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity

Heheh... my secret weapon is SuperWhy, also on PBS.

I think that Super Why and Sid the Science Kid are excellent shows for 3yos. My DD loves them both. We limit her TV to an hour or less a day and have select things for her on the DVR - Super Why and Sid are on heavy rotation.

[Gremlichita]

We struggle with our 3 year old too. Our newborn is definitely much easier!! We have tried to work on diet to see if it's connected. Dairy products definitely cause more tantrums. Somehow they mix up the brain chemistry and make him less rational and more emotional. I know this is true for autistic kids, so it's probably a possibility for other kids too. So we are doing the GFCF diet (gluten gives him diarrhea too). A lot of kids throw tantrums but that doesn't mean it's normal. I think a lot of kids would benefit from some cleansing and identifying food issues.

[honeybunmom]

I'm still reading through the responses but am very glad I found this thread.

For me, it's the constant whining and the meltdowns when something having to do with "Baby" does not go right. Mostly it has to do with trying to pile excessive items on top of Baby's pram style stroller and the fact that the attempts are gravity defying and therefore do not and will not work. Add to that her inability to convey what she's trying to do some times and there's a kicking fit on the floor.

Like others, she'll hold her pee until the very last minute. One way to get her to go is to tell her you've got to go and challenger her to getting to the toilet first. If you fail to arrive first (which you plan to do), she sometimes demands that you whine about your failure.

Lack of sleep just ensures that a tortuous period of time will follow. Then I have to remind my husband that he cannot punish her for behavior that he/we are partly responsble for if we've kept her out and deprived her of getting the rest she needs to be someone we don't want to lock away.

Anyway, I could go on, but won't for now. And, fortuntely for this stage of development, I work outside of the home. But, that is a new cause for morning fits. "Don't go to work, Mommy!" Ugh.

[Surfacing]

There are such swings between lovely and difficult.

This morning we had a really sweet wonderful game. We had fun playing out in the snow.

At other times it's so &%#&*#%^*#^@#$%$# Our struggles: brushing teeth and hair, turning off the TV and getting dressed, putting on boots and coat, eating meals I prepare. Often we struggle with her getting in to the carseat without dillydallying. I was describing some of our worst moments to my counsellor, and she asked whether I had someone controlling in my life as a child. Yes, my father and gma. Sheesh. So now I'm controlling. Yes, I can see it. Yes, I know it doesn't help and I lecture too much, etc.

When I'm angry and raise my voice after not being listened to the first two or more times, she cries and says, "Mommy you're mean!" Some days I feel like such a failure. But perhaps it's not something I'm doing wrong, it's just the age group.

I'm tired. Hugs to all.

ETA - OMG another biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig whine inducer is CANDY!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!! Dh comes from a family where they had pop regularly and ate sweets. Mine was more focused on fruit and balanced healthy eating. I had to loosen my analness around this area because parenting isn't just about MY values, it's about both of ours and our families'. But geez, if the gal gets candy for a couple of days in a row then that's all she wants. And we have huge fights about it. She climbs the counters and searches the cupboards, eating red cookie sprinkles or whatever she finds like an addict! Help. We've gotta kick the candy habit, even if it means FIGHTS FIGHTS FIGHTS.

I think dd is on a growth spurt right now. She's eating and sleeping lots more. Despite our struggles I do love her.... she's amazing. I am in awe of her. I feel distant though..... like I love her and long to be connected and close, but we fight so much some times.

[SeekingSerenity]

*sigh* Ah, yes, the candy issue.

Their father brought over a whole bag of Hershey's Kisses in the Christmas colored wrappers. So for a week, all I heard were demands for chocolate. DD learned to be cute about it... She'd sneak up and ask me, real sweet and quiet-like, "I have just one Kiss-key's chockwit, just one... not three, not five, just one. K?" Then smile soooo adorably. Just melted me every time. Til she learned to do it six times a day.

But, the Kiss-keys are gone now, so there was a meltdown last night. And yesterday afternoon, when I refused to give her another cup of milk (too much gives her diarrhea) and offered her a nice, yummy cup of cold water, so good for her tummy... and she proceeded to try and scream down the walls for the next half-hour. I had to put her down for a nap. I mean that.. I had to. Otherwise *I* would have screamed down the walls.

And last night in the middle of the night, after she tried to knock me in the head with an empty sippy-cup, because I would not (at 3 a.m.) get up and give her a (third) cup of juice... she screamed and kicked and twisted around, till I had to get the baby and go to the couch... which induced another screaming fit because she thought I was leaving... Yeah.. we are tired today.

Right now, she's being cute as a button. Drawing a card for Santa Claus, to hang up for him when he comes to leave her presents. Earlier, when I winced because something I did hurt my finger, she ran over and wrapped her arms around my leg. "S'Okay, Mama, I got you," she said. "There's noooo dinosaurs... there's noooo monsters... there's noooo ants... there's noooo excavators... I got you, okay??" That just totally turns me into a puddle. These lil' ones... they make life worth living.

[honeybunmom]

Originally Posted by Caneel

Our 3yo DS has recruited the cat in his attempts to push my patience to the breaking point.

Everything is "Al (the cat) doesn't want to take a bath" and "Al wants to read another book." or this morning, "Al wants me to stay in bed and rest for a little bit more."

This is interesting because until just very recently, DS seemed to really have no interest in the cats. Our female cat is sick and now DS loves the cats. He carries the male around like a baby and calls him Sweetie.

Interesting . . . for us it's her baby doll, Baby. "Baby told me to get out of the bath tub." "Baby told me . . . ." So creative!

[artgirl]

I do see the incredible irony in the fact that I am exhausted...more tired than I've been in my life... LONGING to take a nap... and my ds lies there, refusing to sleep.
I want to cry.

[Surfacing]

Originally Posted by artgirl

I do see the incredible irony in the fact that I am exhausted...more tired than I've been in my life... LONGING to take a nap... and my ds lies there, refusing to sleep. I want to cry.

Been there. It WILL pass.

Today was rough with ups and downs. Sometimes I feel so discouraged...but then I realize what we're going through is normal. Today I let my frustration fly in comments. I wish my filter was a bit better though....OTOH I am not supposed to be this ever-patient automaton, right? I am a human being and everyone has a limit. Oh mamas, I could use a few hugs.

[wsgrl84]

3 year olds are a trip...literally...

Tonight he went to sleep around 7:30 and he always wakes up between 11-12. And he ALWAYS sits outside my door in the dark and waits for me to notice him. Of course when I notices him, I freak out because he scared the poop out of me. Then I ask him what's the matter? and he said he wants water. So I carried him downstairs for water and he saids, "No I don't water." So I then carried him upstairs and put him back to bed.

Literally a trip...definitely miss the newborn stage!!!

[wsgrl84]

For my DS, he also started blaming his brother. I said who made the mess? Justin did. Oh really? Yea

[novaxmomof2]

I think I am going to lose my mind. My 3.5 year old is DRIVING ME CRAZY! All day long he says "no" to everything I ask or say and picks on his 16 month old brother. It is even getting to my extremely patient husband lately. During my worst days (which have been every day lately) I actually dream about putting him in Mother's Day Out for a couple of days a week just so I can get a break from him and his brother can have a few hours of not being picked on and beat up. I know it sounds terrible and I'm ashamed even writing it but man it's hard right now. I feel so guilty that I don't even want to be around my own child sometimes. He can just be so impossible, defiant, and obnoxious sometimes. I don't know where my sweet little boy went! :-(

[Qestia]

I just got this link from a local columnist, some good ideas here, and it seems pretty GD:

http://graphics.boston.com/education...re981210.shtml

[catemom]

Qestia Thanks for the link to the article, it has some great suggestions!

[VOBetz]

I haven't posted much, except to sub...

But - yes yes yes. My 3 year old bent two or three of the limb frames of our (fake) Christmas tree this afternoon. I was angry. We don't have a lot of money, its not like we can buy a new one this year, or next year for that matter. DH thought I was overreacting by being angry. Blah.

I did eventually calm down and talked to DS about it. He seemed concerned that I was sad and mad that the tree was broken. I don't know.

The rough-housing with his sister always ends badly, regardless of how many times DH or I ask/tell him to stop. Time outs don't work. DH wants to spank. I am against it. But - I have to come up with something else. DD keeps getting hurt.

[mmmummy]

SeekingSerenity - Dude. Somehow my little girl & yours must know each other, and exchange notes

Except mine will be 4 just next month. I wonder what 4 will bring??

Oh, and Shanana..when C. is angry, she does this frustrated/annoyed growl thing that makes US feel the same!! O_o

[falling horse]

aaaaahhhhhhhh. i love mdc. i feel so much better. i really wonder sometimes if this stuff is normal. whew what a relief. two weeks before 3rd b-day my sweet little man became "difficult" amazing but uncooperative. i feel that if i am careful to start the day without arguing the whole day goes better. i noticed that dh finds it more difficult to be "easy going." on the weekends when he is around things are tougher. saying yes to everything i can and giving choices helps avoid getting "his back up against the wall" humor in general and the "talking objects" works great. i have been questioning my "fitness" to parent a second child, we want a second. i cant bear to let anyone else raise him, but i am taking more time to myself when i can. thanks mamas!

[dawncayden]

subbing