Parents of 3 yr. olds, post here (support thread)! - Page 9

[biophdmom]

I'm not sure I can offer insight but I can commiserate! My dd will only wear dresses. Like you said, now that the weather is getting cooler, its going to be tricky! It's also frustrating because she had so many really adorable summer-y pants/capris outfits (her clothes are almost entirely hand-m-downs from cousins) that I would try to convince her to wear and she just wouldn't. But I definitely learned last year, yes this has been going on since last year!, to stock up on the thick cotton tights and leggings.

[blackbird2]

Yeah, I can relate.  My only advice is to try your very best not to care what they wear.  Pack or bring appropriate clothing if you suspect they'll be unhappy and uncomfortable.  It can be super frustrating, but ... so is arguing over clothing.

The other week DS walked half a block in a pair of my shoes because he was mom.  And he's been sleeping in fleece footed pjs for the last month although it is nowhere near cold.  I don't really let his extremes change what I buy or wash, but everyone's gotta do what keeps them sane.  Eventually the 'big deal' will be something else.

[Surfer Rosa]

Originally Posted by blackbird2 

Yeah, I can relate.  My only advice is to try your very best not to care what they wear.  Pack or bring appropriate clothing if you suspect they'll be unhappy and uncomfortable.  It can be super frustrating, but ... so is arguing over clothing.

The other week DS walked half a block in a pair of my shoes because he was mom.  And he's been sleeping in fleece footed pjs for the last month although it is nowhere near cold.  I don't really let his extremes change what I buy or wash, but everyone's gotta do what keeps them sane.  Eventually the 'big deal' will be something else.

Yup. So funny: I posted in this thread about my DD when she was three (three years ago, and I still remember the PAIN), and my son is now three, and although he is a way more chilled out three than she was, he is still prone to the rages and obsessions. He is currently obsessed with knights and wears a tunic EVERY DAY.  I've found the best thing to do is just roll with it. If you can't dress goofy at three, when can you?!

My DD would wear only dresses/skirts until earlier this year...we just learned to layer things. She was okay with leggings, long sleeved shirts, etc, as long as a dress was involved somewhere.

Good luck, everyone. Stock up on wine or chocolate :)
 

[CI Mama]

Thanks for sharing, everyone! I feel better knowing I'm not alone in this.

We just stocked up on leggings and I'm hoping they'll work for her. She tried on a pair this morning...they were a little big on her...and she said "these are pants" (meaning: I don't want to wear these). I asked her what makes them pants, and she said "they're wiggly." That was helpful for me...I think she wants really tight things on her legs because she doesn't like the feeling of fabric moving around on her skin. So, we'll try to work with that.

I cleaned out her dresser, put away everything she doesn't like or isn't seasonal, and put in all the new leggings and things that she likes. I'll let her pick what she wants to wear each day, and we'll see how it goes! Today, she changed clothes 4 times before breakfast.

OK, now I'm off to take some good advice from fridgeart and eat some chocolate.

[SkyMomma]

I actually really enjoy 3year olds (insert shameful face smiley), although my DS1 was a high-needs, intense baby who became a very high-needs, intense 3year old (& DS2 - turning 3 in a few weeks - is going to be the same).  For me it's about appreciating the push-pull of burdgening independance.

For DH1, 3 was the year of no more diapers, getting his own bed, developing real kid friendships, and weaning. 

3 was the year that DS1 went from being my baby to my buddy - my partner on adventures and my coffeehouse date. 

It was the beginning of moving from picture books to chapter books (we love Pooh bear!), and being able to play board games, and have real conversations. 

3 was the year when imaginative play moved from pure imitation to something richer, with storylines and characters and costumes.   

Yes, in the midst of all that growing up there was a LOT of "No" & tantrums & not listening & sleep issues (STTN?  what's that?).  And yes, the direct defiance pushed my buttons in ways that those fussy babies just didn't.  But still...the overall picture of the year was one of exciting growth.   I think DS2 will have a similiar trajectory.  At least, I hope :)  Because 3 with DS1 was incredibly challenging, but sooooo wonderful. 

[momma22boys]

Maybe I can get some help here. My DS1 turned 3 in Aug. and started preschool a month ago. He continues to tell me that he doesn't want to go, but his teachers tell me that he seems fine at school. He plays with the other kids and smiles and laughs. He says that he likes his teacher and he has made a friend, but every morning he says that he doesn't want to go to school. He has pretty much been home with me since day one. There was a short time where he went  to daycare when I went back to school, but that plan fell threw when I became pregnant and we moved for my husbands job. I have always made it a point to listen to him and respect his feelings the best that I can (as long as it doesn't harm anyone else) and we are a very attached family. I feel that forcing him to go if he is unhappy is harmful to our relationship and the trust that we have built over the past 3 years. I kind of seems to me to be a CIO approach to school, "just give him enough time and he will stop asking to stay home" well isn't that because I haven't listened to him when he has tried in the best way he knows how to tell me that he is unhappy with school. I would really like to pull him out. Has anyone else had this issue with their LO when they started school? Has anyone ever pulled there child out of school because they didn't seem ready? How did you come to this dissuasion? I feel like we have given him time to adjust and he is not adjusting well. My DH is on board with pulling him out. Do you think pulling him out will make it harder later for him when he has to go to kindergarten? Any thoughts are helpfull.

[CI Mama]

In terms of school, here was our experience.

We started DD at a Montessori pre-school when she was 29 months old. The transition was rough and took about a month. She was fine for the first few days, then she figured out what was really happening and she was very upset. As soon as we mentioned "it's a school day" in the morning, she'd start crying, and the drop-off itself was painful...lots of tears, the teachers would have to pry her off my neck, etc. But she'd be happy when we picked her up, and we were hearing that once we left, she was fine.

Our situation is that we're 2 working parents, so we need to have care for our child. We hired an excellent nanny who has been like a 3rd parent to DD. (The nanny is a parent of a son, practices AP, has been a great resource for us & a wonderful influence on DD.)  So transitioning from that to school was hard, but we had to do it for financial reasons, plus we felt like DD really was ready for more socialization with other kids.

The good news is, DD will turn 3 in 2 weeks and she LOVES school. She loves her teachers, has lots of friends, has a great time at school. It just took awhile to make the transition.

Every kid & every family is different, so I think our experience wouldn't necessarily be right for everyone. But I would say, that 1 month is not a very long time to make the transition to school. For a kid who is used to an "at home" environment and the undivided attention of an adult, going to school is a big transition. But that doesn't mean it's the wrong choice. If you feel good about the school & you're getting feedback that your child is having a good experience while he's there, it may be fine. A few more weeks may make a big difference.

[swd12422]

IDK if this will help, but DS went through something similar. He started preschool mid-year last year and LOVED it. He was going two mornings a week and I was regretting not sending him more b/c he seemed to love it. Then summer came, and I enrolled him in the school's day camp program, which was 5 mornings a week for two weeks. He had the same teacher (plus one new one, who would be his teacher for this school year), was in the same classroom, and had some of the same kids (plus some new kids) in his class. He hated it for the first week. He told me he didn't want to go, that the teachers (including the receptionist and director) were mean, and he wasn't having fun. Not the same story I got from the staff there, and certainly not at all what I saw when I'd spy on him.

By the middle of the second week, he was doing fine. My only guess is that the change in schedule was overwhelming to him. I think for him at this age, having the same activity every day is somehow too much. We have always had activities practically every day, since he hates to be at home. But the activities have always been different: one day is gymnastics, then school, then library day, then school again, then errands or children's museum or something else. When it's school or gymnastics every day, it's a problem. (He did a one-week gymnastics day camp later in the summer at his gym which he loves, and had the same issue with suddenly not wanting to go once he'd been two days in a row.)

Now he's back at school three days a week, but even at school each day is different: One day is just a regular short day, one day is a longer day where he stays for lunch, and one day is a short day, but they do "water day" where the kids show up in swim suits and play outside in the water. So for him, it seems to be about variety, whereas he has a friend who is doing much better now that she's at school five days a week and every day is the same.

Is he in school every day? Can you reduce it to 3 days a week and see if that helps? He may just be missing time at home with you, even though he really likes school. Or, if it's a school that's only 5 days a week, can you plan a special fun activity every day when you pick him up, so he has something to look forward to? Like library, or park or something that can be your special bonding time?