Parents of 3 yr. olds, post here (support thread)! - Page 2

[Surfer Rosa]

Interesting about the clumsiness-we've noticed lately that DDs been kind of spazzy!

DD turned 3 in August and has been fairly exhausting since about 34 months. She has always been high energy, and her mood is just always overwhelming-ie. if something is kind of frustrating for her, her reaction is incredibly dramatic...and then five minutes later, she's smiles and sunshine. It is exhausting! I find she is either totally independent (goes to the toilet herself, gets dressed, cleans up, will fetch things for me...) or wants to carried around, fed, dressed. I know some of this is because of her new brother (2.5 mos), so I'm hoping it'll even out.

I feel like it's a taste of the teenage years-irrational, demanding, overwhelming...I try to remember the sweet and funny moments...serenity now, serenity now....lol. There are some really great things too-lke DDs imagination has really taken off and it's so cool to see what she comes up with.

[mama naturale]

Lots of crying from my three year old. He has started saying up late again.
Could it just be tiredness?

[allgirls]

I am on my 4th three year old and I came looking for a thread.

I hear ya! And it's all developmental, better or worse to deal with depending on their temperament but yeah, 3 is very very hard!

From 9 months to almost three I spent just trying to keep my littlest one alive..now she's pretty much stopped all the death-defying stuff and is focussing on driving me completely and utterly around the bend.

And the hardest part...she's so freakin' cute...I want to squish her with hugs one minute and just squish her the next.

But it does pass. Punishment doesn't work. Boundaries don't work. Hugs, playfulness, fun, nature, reading to them, involving them in your day etc. helps but the only thing that works is time.

So she just turned 3 in October. I'm pulling up a chair. I'm here for a year or so!

[jacob'smom]

Yes! My ds is all of a sudden completely freaked to be by himself. He won't play in his room, and if I have to leave him alone for even a minute he starts to cry and say he's lonely. I feel sad for him but sometimes I have to go pee, you know!

[catballou24]

hello all! we are experiencing many of the same challenges over here as well. my quiet, sweet little babe has turned into this demanding, loud, OCD, child who i find challenging on many days. her latest thing is whenever anyone who was visiting is leaving, she has to have hugs and kisses. not a big deal, but before she even asks she starts panicking that she won't get them. so we have to go through the routine, "use your nice words please and gentle voice to ask", still freaking out..."take a deep breath and then ask again", etc.. we got through this for a few moments until she finally realizes that no one is going to forget her hugs and kisses. after she is given many hugs and kisses, we have to walk out the front gate and stand in a certain spot while we watch the car drive out of site. if i move from that spot she gets mad.

i seriously started to worry that something was wrong with her until i talked with a couple other moms whose 3 year olds are exhibiting similar behavior. before about 3 months ago, she was so quiet and easy going. but now that i know it is normal i don't worry and just try to remain calm within myself. my oldest dd was "spirited" from the get go and is only now just settling down, she's 5 and a half. so there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

[catemom]

Hello brave parents!

I was thinking about DS's behavior and when the stuff at school started getting bad and decided that I need to try to re-institute his early afternoon nap. I KNOW he is overtired b/c he falls asleep at the table about 4:30 or 5 (while he is chewing food!!). If I try putting him to bed then, most often he wakes up after a couple of hours and we're up until almost midnight getting him to bed. Wish me luck!

[apriljoy]

We're there, too. It amazes me how quickly he can go from sweet, cooperative, make-my-heart-melt darling to defiant little monster. I agree w/pp...it's the constant challenges, the refusal to get along, that makes this stage so exhausting. I think I've only recently come to understand the true meaning of the phrase, "hard to get along with." Because sometimes, even though I'm 100% open to whatever it is he wants to do, he still finds some way to make it into a battle.

[XanaduMama]

Originally Posted by Caneel

Another thing I noticed with DS is his new need/desire to be on me all the time.

See, this is interesting. I've just realized (after reading through all these posts) that one of the craziest "symptoms" of being 3 (I like to think of it as an illness!) is this combination of (a) insistent independence, in which I'm not allowed to do ANYTHING for him at risk of a major meltdown, and (b) clinginess, fear of empty rooms, need for bodily contact. ds has developed a fear of going to his room alone, or going potty by himself, even though he's been doing these things for months--he says the "baboons" are going to get him :

Anyway, I think this is interesting. Clearly being independent is both something to be desired (even fought for), but pretty scary at the same time.

But yeah--we're struggling here too. Lucky for them they're so cute, right?

[leerypolyp]

Can I just come sit with you guys for a while and not talk?

ah. I'll post more when I'm feeling up to it.

[catballou24]

yes you can!

today is a very whiney day. everything she says is whining or yelling...i'm just gritting my teeth and trying to maintain a sense of calm so i don't lose it with her. she can be the sweetest little thing, giving me hugs and kisses. but oh goodness, don't tell her we are out of blueberries! :

[captain crunchy]

Originally Posted by Caneel

Another thing I noticed with DS is his new need/desire to be on me all the time.

Not nice cuddling on the couch or sitting on my lap at the table, oh no, he wants to be ON me like trying to sit on my head, laying on top of me in bed, crawling up, over and down me when we are playing on the floor.

The bone on bone (think 3yo elbow bon rubbing on your skull over and over again) drives me absolutely bats.

On a positve note, I am just tickled with his mental and verbal development, it is so interesting to talk to him and hear his stories and memories. Remember when...conversations are important to him and I am amazed at the small details he has remembered from events that took place months ago.

Wow, this is my child to a tee right now. Amazing.

Today was a lot better thank God. Seriously, I need these good days to cling to when I feel like every.single.thing. is defied.

That is the hardest part I think. Like, I can understand a child not wanting to do X, Y or Z -- but when I am actually cooperating with you, I am giving you what you say you want, I am trying to empathize, accommodate, whatever -- and you are *still* whining, carrying on, telling me what to say or not say, how to say it, how to or not to do it

Today was good though so I am extremely thankful for that.

[BonMaman]

Originally Posted by leerypolyp

Can I just come sit with you guys for a while and not talk?

ah. I'll post more when I'm feeling up to it.

This is me today, too.

[MCR]

Ugh, three year olds.
I was starting to think there was something not quite right with my 3yo Dd. I asked about it in parenting and was directed here. Turns out she's doing all the same kind of thing all the other 3's are up to. Makes me feel better, thank you all.
Still frustrating though.
It's been so long since I had a normal three, Ds was is 20 and Ds 2 (who never went through terrible anything) is 14. SO I'm guess I'm way out of practice.
My only concern is that she spins, fast enough to make herself dizzy then goes right to bed and sleeps (the bed and sleep are not the problem) but the spinning makes me wonder whats going on.
Other than that she's a pretty delightful willful child, who bolts in public and is therefore only allowed out of the car wearing a monkey backpack with a rein. This way she'll hold my hand and walk by me and be happy and chatty the whole time. The minute I remove the monkey all bets are off and she's gone in a giggling manic laugh.
If figure she'll grow out of it eventually right? Please say yes, she'll be 4 in January.

[pellifoli]

hey mamas,
I'm in the middle of it w/you. DS(3.5 in January) was actually having a huge tantrum because he's completely exhausted, won't put clean pants on, but he's cold, won't eat but he's hungry....it's ridiculous. And he was up FIVE times last night, so we're all fried, and low patience. I've been yelling much more than I'm happy with, I am so frustrated. he's had a huge growth spurt recently & is (somehow) getting more molars.

There are some books that have been helpful to me, the authors are Ames & Ilg, and the one for this year is Your Three Year Old: Friend or Enemy. While the scenarios are really really dated, the developmental stuff is spot on. They talk about how in every age, there's a period of equilibrium after new things (language, physical skills, etc) are mastered, and then a period of Disequilibrium (where everything goes to hell & there are regressions, sleep is disrupted, potty stuff, etc.) hellooooo disequilibrium. And their advice? They say it may sound like a cop out, but it is their best advice: have someone else take care of child As Much As Possible.

DS has been totally pee trained since February. lately he's having tantrums because he holds it too long and needs to pee horribly, but he refuses & just melts down. it's a mess, he won't let me help him, all my humor, distraction, and old tactics just don't work.

It seems like he needs a nap, but like someone else mentioned, if he does, he's up til after 10pm or so. and it's a nightmare getting him down. And a nightmare when he wakes up. it's pretty much a huge nightmare right now.

And as someone else mentioned, he's doing amazing things, conversation is wonderful, he's deeply curious & creative. He also mentioned the same thing the other day as someone else's child, We had fun when we went ___, we didn't get mad at each other at all.

if I've got another year of this I'm going to have to go back to work full time. sigh.

hang in there.

[rabbitmum]

Can I join in even though he's not quite three yet, but will be in January?

He does all the three-year-old things. Says "no, I don't want to anything" when given a choice, climbs on my head, questions everything (particularly bedtime, which he used to like a couple of months ago) and loves spinning, running, jumping and shouting! He used to be such a quiet little boy. Still adorable, though!

[klt]

Another interesting thing about three year olds that I read is their interest in "wholeness" and noticing when things aren't complete. Like when a picture they are coloring tears, or a play dough animal breaks, they freak out "it's broken, fix it!" It's them developing their perception of "whole" and "complete." This made ALOT of sense to me when I read it, and they said activities like "I'm fixing the door mommy" while using a toy hammer or something start to appear.

My son does react to boo-boos in a different way saying he needs to heal it. So I think that reaction to injury is due to a heightened perception of cause & consequence as well.

And I totally had to laugh when one of the above moms said how tired she was with her child sitting on her head. Mine does that too, just sites right on my face! What? I feel like I need to go to the Chiro, he's thrown my neck out about 189 times in the past 6 months!

[hopeandolive]

Originally Posted by captain crunchy

Oh my word.

I was just talking about this with my very close friend who is another mdc mama of a 3 year old. DD will be 3.5 in December and wow is this the hardest age EVER.

Here I was thinking being a mama of a newborn was hard.. HA HA. That was a walk in the park compared to this age. Just demanding, whiny, OCD-like tendencies, out of this world tantrums, controlling, easily dissatisfied, etc -- I miss my sweet, loving child who I felt so connected to I feel like sometimes I am hanging on for dear life from one loving moment to the next to prevent myself from going all punitive.

Can you tell it has been a rough day?

I mean, sometimes she can just be an absolute joy and of course I love her more than life itself, but other times I feel like screaming WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU... JUST STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP. I don't of course, but I am screaming it on this inside as I struggle to remain patient and calm on the outside.

I hope this passes soon and I get my child back

OMG This is so totally us!!!!! My dd will also be 3.5 in Dec. One of my biggest struggles right now is the bedtime battles! She used to be my dream sleeper! Now she is up every 5 minutes for a solid hour after I put her down for either a nap or bed!!! And it isn't like she sleeps late on the other end to make up for the time either! Lately she has been getting up at 5 am! The biggest change in her life right now has been the addition of a new baby sister, but honestly I think she would be doing exactly what she is doing even without the new addition!

Someone please send me the strength!!!

[catballou24]

so today was one of those rare, no fit days! : we went thrift store shopping and to the craft store for a couple things and she was in such a great mood. when we got home she ate her lunch and played outside with dh and dd until it was too cold and getting dark. she ate all her dinner, took a bath and was asleep by 8! i swear it's like living with dr. jekyl and mr. hyde... you never know what tomorrow will bring!

[funkymamajoy]

Can I say that today was the perfect day for me to find this thread?

DS is 3 1/2 and today would trade him for two non-sleeping infants or 2 year old.

His answer to everything is "no" or "I don't want to." If I insist that he do something, he runs away from me. He plays around and keeps himself awake during naps, which he still needs. Then, he's exhausted and argumentative at dinner time. At bedtime, its a repeat of naptime. He does everything possible to keep himself awake. And, of course, he has always woken with the sun.

I just don't know what to with him anymore.

[MrsAprilMay]

Originally Posted by catballou24

so today was one of those rare, no fit days! : we went thrift store shopping and to the craft store for a couple things and she was in such a great mood. when we got home she ate her lunch and played outside with dh and dd until it was too cold and getting dark. she ate all her dinner, took a bath and was asleep by 8! i swear it's like living with dr. jekyl and mr. hyde... you never know what tomorrow will bring!

Exactly!

I'm getting really torn about taking DD to story time. She LOVES it. She looks forward to it every week, plays story time with her dolls and loves to get new books from the library once a week. And I enjoy seeing sunlight. But the time is 1:30pm. On days when she naps, it's from 1:00 - 3:00. So if she h happens to need a nap that day, it's delayed. By the time we're done at the library, she's cranky. You would think they would respect a preschooler's need to nap just like they do the toddlers, who have story time at 10:30am.