Is there a Bi-polar support thread?

[transformed]

I don't really know where to go. I have been "trying to fix myself" for years. My cycles are pretty much 6 mo of deep depression and then maybe 3-5 weeks of "up."

I feel sad for my kids. and myself.

I am not able to get myself help. I am trying, but I always stop at some point just out of inability to function cognitively.

I have asked dh to "do it for me." but he doesnt. He may be depressed too.

I dont know how to do this. Its not like "Just call the doctor and get some pills." I am low income so I have to jump through a million hoops and I dont have the energy.

Anyone else understand?

[Porcelain Interior]

Yep. That's what sucks about the depressive part. Your mind and body feel like they are stuck in thick sticky mudd and you cannot conjure the energies needed to try and attempt to crack into the broken system of so called "mental healthcare" because you know at heart there is no care for the mentally ill.

The hoops they make you jump through are outrageous. The wait times, the "sorry we have no openings" or the classic "Well we have an opening in about 2 months".

Then the unanswered question of how much is it going to cost? What will they put me on? How often will they want to $$$see me$$$ so I can keep getting meds? If the meds don't work and I have to switch how do I pay for them?

I understand. I wish that they'd expidite (sp?) mental health care. It's not like you think you might be suffering from arthritis. Mental health can take dangerous downturns, asking someone to wait in agony for 2 months is sick. That's what happened to me though when I had severe PPD before I was diagnosed Bipolar.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time.

[Nathan1097]

hi. I am BP I . I have two visits left for mental health this year and my case worker hasn't sent the state my paperwork for insurance renewal! I just got a letter today. Had to leave the case worker an urgent message today. I turned all MY forms in 3 weeks ago and haven't gotten anything from the case worker.

[starry_mama]

hi mamas. i don't have insurance either and i see a psychiatrist who has a sliding scale. i tried to deal with it myself for a long long time and it was awful. i rarely have depressive times, i mostly ust get really really manic and out of control. ive been on meds for about 6 months now and things are so much better. there is hope. things aren't perfect, but when im spinning out of control, i am able to recognize it, at least a little, and call my doc, who helps adjust my meds. jenny.

[transformed]

hey starry!

[transformed]

I got a dr. appt today and she wouldnt give me meds. she suggested I find a psych to work with and pay cash. LMAO.

she said she could only treat basic depression and mine was too much for her to deal with.

thats cool but I am hoping it doesnt take 3 mo to get a clinic appt beacuse thats what the mental health place told me.

The doctor said she was extremely concerned.

Huh. So am I actually!

Its kind of freaky when health care professionals tell you to call 911 if you dont feel like parenting. Uh, I often dont feel like parenting right now. But I do not belive my kids are in danger (except being ignored for short bursts) or watching too much TV right now.

But my parents leave FL on sat to come visit through Christmas so if I can make it through this next week, I can make it!!!!

I have been living with untreated Bi-polar for over 10 years and I am so ready to get help for it. It is so annoying!!!!!!!


Oh and my dh kind of thought i should be able to manage it, so I rented him "Bi-Polar for Dummies" from the library.

[starry_mama]

call the clinic place and even if it takes 3 months to get an appointment, make an appointment. i wouldn't want a regular doc treating me, you will be in much better hands with a psychiatrist. seriously. :

[eccomama]

sadly i found out over the 16 years i been dealing with depression, last 3 as bp that the mental health is such an underfunded area. there isn't enough visits allotted in an insurance plan, meds are expensive and impossible to get paid. hence when uninsured i paid out of pocket. 300 on meds every month was killer. when i asked for assistance i couldn't get my meds paid. if i wanted to get free meds the lady suggested that i check myself in. WTF? how messed up is that.

i feel sad also for my daughter. i feel like i missed out on a year of her life. i wasn't able to take care of myself, alone her. i was so low that i gave up on everything. it took a long time to built myself up again.

so i been functioning bipolar. some days are harder than other. i been able to work ok for the past 1.5 years. this helped with the med costs but not counseling. i stuck with my low cost clinic because i was under an hmo for years and the mental health dept is not equipped to deal with chronic illness. its great for short term things like stress, grief and loss, etc. everything i see the commercial for hmo, and they save THRIVE, i want to puke!!!

i feel if i had cancer or some other illness, ppl would be more understand, tolerant. but i have a chronic illness that cannot be "seen." i might as well have leprosy.

so i feel ur pain...

[starry_mama]

Originally Posted by eccomama

i feel if i had cancer or some other illness, ppl would be more understand, tolerant. but i have a chronic illness that cannot be "seen." i might as well have leprosy.

so i feel ur pain...

yes!!! I wrote a blog entry about that. i totally agree. its so frustrating.

as far as meds go, i get samples from my pdoc for topamax, since its crazy expensive, and im also on buspar and zoloft, which are both $4 at walmart. i also take klonopin which is fairly cheap (like $20ish, i think?) as needed. i don't have to take it very often when my other meds are correct though. ive heard lithium works really great and is really cheap, but im nursing so i cant take it. depakote is nursing safe and super cheap though. i was going to try that next if topamax didnt work.

[eccomama]

Originally Posted by starry_mama

yes!!! I wrote a blog entry about that. i totally agree. its so frustrating.

as far as meds go, i get samples from my pdoc for topamax, since its crazy expensive, and im also on buspar and zoloft, which are both $4 at walmart. i also take klonopin which is fairly cheap (like $20ish, i think?) as needed. i don't have to take it very often when my other meds are correct though. ive heard lithium works really great and is really cheap, but im nursing so i cant take it. depakote is nursing safe and super cheap though. i was going to try that next if topamax didnt work.

I initially started on topomax but once i lost my insurance I had to pay out of pocket. i lapsed cuz i couldn't afford the meds. when i went to low income counseling i was put on on lamictal and cymbalta. i was able to get samples for at least the lamictal the cymbalt i had to shell out 120 a month. now even with insurnace my copay is 30 a month for each. sigh...

[transformed]

I had an intake apt yesterday. officially she dxd me with bipolar/elements of psychosis and/or we talked about potentially ADHD also. (Because of my lack of ability to plan and complete or start tasks)

I will be doing talk therepy and meds starting the first week of December.

I am on the lowest rung for income right now so I'll pay like $5/visit and I am praying PRAYING they give me meds I can afford.

I'm committing to 6 months right now.

I've sought treatment before but then because of my attention issues/and sluggishness, OR because I get manic I just don't/cant continue.

But I am going to do it!

[Nathan1097]

hooray!

[Autumn Breeze]

YAY!!

There are a lot of us

[Gitti]

This is not meant as a quick fix or anything like that but I do know for a fact that someone I know avoided all chocolate and it made a huge difference in them.

I guess I am suggesting that for some people at least it could be a reaction to some foods or food preservatives?

I also did a search on Aspartame and bipolar (because I've been reading so much about aspartame lately) and gosh, please do the search yourself.

Posting a few sites -

http://www.i-newswire.com/pr122347.html

http://www.mcmanweb.com/diet_coke.html

[transformed]

Yeah, I have no doubt that food contributes or possibly causes it. But I am so far gone that if I don't take meds I will never even have the ability to regulate my diet. I cannot complete a task! I have been talking about Feingold for over a year without being able to actually implement it.

So changing diet is simply not an option at some point. Willpower doesnt overcome bipolar.

[Gitti]

I am sure what you say is true!

The only thing I would like to suggest is to just eliminate all foods that contain Aspartame. That is diet foods and pre-fab foods. It would not be a special diet. Not at all. Just stick to brown rice, brown noodles, whole grain bread, nuts, vegetables, fruits for a few days and see what happens. What if you suddenly do notice some improvement? Wouldn't that be great?

I am not minimizing your condition, but I have a feeling that you may be able to help yourself somewhat. If it does make a difference, if you could manage a bit better... you could take it in increments.

Give it a try. Just eat very healthy for a few days and see.

I only wish to help. It sounds like such a very awful state to be in.

[transformed]

I am not sure where I would be consuming aspertame - but I can vouch for its effects - my dad has so many health problems and every single one traces back to aspertame. (But he doesnt think its related)

Now my 6 yr old is into gum, and I cant find a gum without aspertame!

[Arwyn]

Some of us are bipolar even with diets totally free of aspertame.

I know for me diet and lifestyle changes were a huge part of getting well, but I needed meds to be able to implement those changes.

I will say that for me, high EPA fish oil doses are far more effective and with fewer adverse side-effects than my prescription psychotropics. But insurance doesn't cover fish oil.

Good luck.

[Gitti]

Originally Posted by transformed

I am not sure where I would be consuming aspertame -

It is in EVERYTHING. It is also known as NutraSweet, Equal, or Spoonful.

It's difficult to avoid unless you stick to fresh food.
Restaurants use aspartame, especially in desserts.
There are now over 5,000 products containing this chemical.

It's in sausages, lunch meats, bread, coffee creamers, bought cookies, cakes, rolls, pies, mayonaise, pickles, relishes, chinese foods, all pre-made foods even if it is not a "diet" food, many children's vitamins, antibiotic, many medicines...

The phenylalanine in Aspartame breaks down the seizure threshold and depletes serotonin, which causes manic depression, panic attacks, rage and violence.

In another report from the FDA in 1991, they had complaints of seizures, panic attacks, and mania.

http://tuberose.com/Aspartame.html

[transformed]

omg lunch meat?!?!?!

I am a serial label reader and I am going to be SO shocked if I am eating that crap! (Because I dont eat the usual suspects like diet foods/sodas)