Transformed...
I hope you do start feeling better, this situation (bipolar/ADD) just really messes with your life in every single area. I'm sure you've read what I take to control my issues *bipolar/ADD/OCD*(www.omegabrite.com & www.truehope.com) I've shared a few times about that. I've been on LOTS of RX drugs and experience wicked side effects at med levels that aren't even at levels high enough to be therapuetic so I've had a real hard time of things. I've been 100% stabilized for well over a year, and I was a mucho rapid cycler with spats of mania/mixed episodes and then crippling depression on the regular. Like all the time. My bipolar isn't the type where you get majorly depressed for a long time and then whig and go manic and then back to depression for a long time (that is classic bipolar.) There was no calm it was UP and down and UP and down and then that lovely middle where you are UP but you want to murder people (not really, but just like UBER aggitated/wired). I'm so happy to say that is behind me. The only thing I'm still struggling with is mild depression and a lot of sucky ADD symptoms. I'm pretty tired and have a very hard time concentrating and getting stuff done. That's the story of my life though, and is nothing compared to the psychological hell I lived previous to finding stuff that works. I could go into this deeper and share very personal horrible details about what a rot person I was when I was really sick, (I hurt people I love) but I won't because we all know what manic people do.
When I read what you write it makes me sad, because I know what it's like to be all scattered of brain and confused and overwhelmed- so overwhelmed that you can't process info/books to move yourself to a better place. It's so hard.
*And on aspartame for those that were addressing it, no it doesn't cause bipolar disorder (I know it doesn't because I've NEVER touched it and I'm bipolar), but if you read enough you'll begin to discover that bipolar disorder is all about brain chemistry, and how our bodies process nutrients/minerals/amino acids. We aren't getting the right stuff in the right way to our brains which totally screws up the natural balances. Scientists do not know yet what exactly triggers and causes bipolar disorder, but they are getting closer and science is pointing towards some sort of genetic defect that causes bipolar people's bodies to not take in or process nutrients and other things our bodies need in the right way which leads to the messed up brain chemicals. It isn't about an improper diet, for a bipolar person even with a perfect diet for some reason their bodies just don't assimilate things write, things fire wrong etc. Obviously a really crappy diet will only make things worse....but diet doesn't cause bipolar disorder.
I've noticed something amongst bipolar people, we all tend to be VERY sensitive to medications, foods, caffiene, alcohol, drugs. We do not react the same way that everyone else does to things. Which would lead a person to really examine what they choose to put into their bodies. Little things set us off, not enough sleep, too much sleep, too little light during the day, too much stimulation etc. It goes on and on. We have very over reactive systems. I protect myself by weighing how everything effects my mood, and then I fashion my world around that.
This means I have many limitations, but my mental health is of supreme importance to me.
I choose not to stay up all night watching TV or using the computer because it (scuse the language) f**** with my body/mind/mood, it's a trigger for me. I choose to avoid negative people and situations as much as possible. I choose (and this takes a lot of practice) not to sit in my closet and self mutilate when I feel helpless/worthless. I choose not to entertain negative obsessive thoughts about myself, or my marriage, or any type of ruminations.
It is hard I don't always succeed, but the longer I stay on track and protect my lifestyle and live in a manner that is supportive to my stability the easier it gets and the better I get. I also eliminate destructive people from my life. I've had friends who don't "believe" in bipolar disorder, who don't respect the fact that I cannot touch alcohol etc. They poo-poo it like it's no biggee. Bipolar disorder is life and death, it's not a game. It's serious.
Well I rambled big time, but Transformed and everyone else that has posted I just want us to feel good. I share, even if you decide I'm full of poppyseeds, that's ok. I still share because I don't feel that bad anymore, I feel pretty good. If that helps anybody I'm glad, if not well you gotta take a risk now and then right?
I hope you do start feeling better, this situation (bipolar/ADD) just really messes with your life in every single area. I'm sure you've read what I take to control my issues *bipolar/ADD/OCD*(www.omegabrite.com & www.truehope.com) I've shared a few times about that. I've been on LOTS of RX drugs and experience wicked side effects at med levels that aren't even at levels high enough to be therapuetic so I've had a real hard time of things. I've been 100% stabilized for well over a year, and I was a mucho rapid cycler with spats of mania/mixed episodes and then crippling depression on the regular. Like all the time. My bipolar isn't the type where you get majorly depressed for a long time and then whig and go manic and then back to depression for a long time (that is classic bipolar.) There was no calm it was UP and down and UP and down and then that lovely middle where you are UP but you want to murder people (not really, but just like UBER aggitated/wired). I'm so happy to say that is behind me. The only thing I'm still struggling with is mild depression and a lot of sucky ADD symptoms. I'm pretty tired and have a very hard time concentrating and getting stuff done. That's the story of my life though, and is nothing compared to the psychological hell I lived previous to finding stuff that works. I could go into this deeper and share very personal horrible details about what a rot person I was when I was really sick, (I hurt people I love) but I won't because we all know what manic people do.
When I read what you write it makes me sad, because I know what it's like to be all scattered of brain and confused and overwhelmed- so overwhelmed that you can't process info/books to move yourself to a better place. It's so hard.
*And on aspartame for those that were addressing it, no it doesn't cause bipolar disorder (I know it doesn't because I've NEVER touched it and I'm bipolar), but if you read enough you'll begin to discover that bipolar disorder is all about brain chemistry, and how our bodies process nutrients/minerals/amino acids. We aren't getting the right stuff in the right way to our brains which totally screws up the natural balances. Scientists do not know yet what exactly triggers and causes bipolar disorder, but they are getting closer and science is pointing towards some sort of genetic defect that causes bipolar people's bodies to not take in or process nutrients and other things our bodies need in the right way which leads to the messed up brain chemicals. It isn't about an improper diet, for a bipolar person even with a perfect diet for some reason their bodies just don't assimilate things write, things fire wrong etc. Obviously a really crappy diet will only make things worse....but diet doesn't cause bipolar disorder.
I've noticed something amongst bipolar people, we all tend to be VERY sensitive to medications, foods, caffiene, alcohol, drugs. We do not react the same way that everyone else does to things. Which would lead a person to really examine what they choose to put into their bodies. Little things set us off, not enough sleep, too much sleep, too little light during the day, too much stimulation etc. It goes on and on. We have very over reactive systems. I protect myself by weighing how everything effects my mood, and then I fashion my world around that.
This means I have many limitations, but my mental health is of supreme importance to me.
I choose not to stay up all night watching TV or using the computer because it (scuse the language) f**** with my body/mind/mood, it's a trigger for me. I choose to avoid negative people and situations as much as possible. I choose (and this takes a lot of practice) not to sit in my closet and self mutilate when I feel helpless/worthless. I choose not to entertain negative obsessive thoughts about myself, or my marriage, or any type of ruminations.
It is hard I don't always succeed, but the longer I stay on track and protect my lifestyle and live in a manner that is supportive to my stability the easier it gets and the better I get. I also eliminate destructive people from my life. I've had friends who don't "believe" in bipolar disorder, who don't respect the fact that I cannot touch alcohol etc. They poo-poo it like it's no biggee. Bipolar disorder is life and death, it's not a game. It's serious.
Well I rambled big time, but Transformed and everyone else that has posted I just want us to feel good. I share, even if you decide I'm full of poppyseeds, that's ok. I still share because I don't feel that bad anymore, I feel pretty good. If that helps anybody I'm glad, if not well you gotta take a risk now and then right?
Sorry it didn't work out for you. Wellbutrin didn't work for me. Lasted 4 days (managed to make me quit smoking in that 4 days though!)
the combo of zoloft/topamax/buspar seems to be really great for me, i havent been manic in awhile. im just hoping and praying i stay that way for awhile. i dont get many depressive episodes, only manic really. i think ive had maybe 5 depressive episodes ever that i can remember, but more manic than i can count. i hate hate hate mania. hate it. . oh, and i take klonopins when im manic too, just to keep me from losing it too bad. i also have anxiety/panic and ocd. fun fun! lol.
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) are the highest category of suicides in the bipolar spectrum, but if we manage not to kill ourselves, in my experience we tend to be more serious about getting stable, because hypomania isn't the "draw" it is to the more classical bipolars.
