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post #21 of 29
Thread Starter 

Gentle Discipline Biblically?

I haven't read all of the responses yet but the Gentle Christian Mother's site is good. Crystal's book is called "Biblical Parenting" by Pastor Crytsal Lutton. I just got it and it is good. Here is another good site for scripture interpretation.

http://www.parentingdecisions.com/su...lechildren.htm
post #22 of 29
Ok, Mamas, here is the story...

According to the user agreement which we all agreed to upon registration:

Quote:
1- Posting in a disrespectful, defamatory, adversarial, baiting, harassing, offensive, insultingly sarcastic or otherwise improper manner, toward a member or other individual, including casting of suspicion upon a person, invasion of privacy, humiliation, demeaning criticism, namecalling, personal attack, or in any way which violates the law.
Posts in violation of this rule have been removed.

Also from your user agreement:

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The MotheringDotCommune discussion boards serve an online community of parents and parents-to-be considering, learning, practicing, and advocating attachment parenting and natural family living.
Support is our goal. This thread is dedicated to the support of those seeking Biblical support for their parenting philosophy. Posts in opposition to this endeavor have been removed.

Now, I know I hate it when I work hard writing something and it is lost. So if you want a copy of what you wrote to edit and re-post, fear not, I have a copy saved. Just PM me.

Thank you for your support and patience.

In addition, these Mothering articles may add to the discussion on hand:

Spare the Rod

Train up your child - William Sears article

warmly,
Pamela
post #23 of 29

a Jew's perspective

Torah explicitly states children do not know god from bad, so in my mind the concept of "disobedient children" is prima facie silly. the ancients also teach us to "push away with the left and draw near with the right" - IOW to reward more strongly than we punish.

the Torah passage talking about stoning a son has nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with disciplining children since the "stonee" in the passage is very clearly an adult.

Talmud has numerous teachings telling us that forcing a child against its nature is a recipe for ultimate disaster, even if it seems to be working in the moment.

it goes so far as to say hitting an older child is equivalent to putting a stumbling block in front of a blind man because we are setting them up for failure: a child of that age is old enough to feel anger, to have an urge to strike back, so by striking them we are in fact encouraging them to feel/act dishonorably towards us. we are in fact encouraging them to break mitzvah/commandment, and the guilt for that lies on the parent, not the child.

as with anything posted by a Jew, this is one individual's perspective and does not constitute a claim to speak for Jews in general.
post #24 of 29
Hi all. As I was reading this post I couldn't stop thinking about it and I wanted to find out for myself some biblical backing and explinations. I do study the bible and know it somewhat (not nearly good enough) I hope this doesn't offend anyone but I thought it had some excellent reasoning on what the bible has to say and it might answer zebrabellys quest for finding out some scriptures. Its a bit long so I do apologize about that.
What I found was this....



THE BIBLE’S mention of “the rod of discipline” ignites fiery controversy. This is understandable, for each year thousands of children die as a direct result of physical abuse by a parent. Perhaps this is why one Bible commentary passes off the Bible’s sanction of physical punishment as merely a “culturally conditioned opinion.”
Are its comments on “the rod of discipline” unreasonable? It is important to examine “the rod” in its context. To illustrate: The individual pieces of a jigsaw puzzle make little sense. It is only after fitting them together that one can see the whole picture. Likewise, “the rod” is just one piece of the puzzle. To see the full picture, we must fit “the rod” in with other Bible principles related to discipline.
Does the Bible endorse only physical punishment? Consider the following advice:
• “Never drive your children to resentment.”
• “Don’t over-correct your children, or you will take all the heart out of them.”
These are two scriptures found at Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21.
Yes, the Bible’s viewpoint is reasonable. It acknowledges that physical punishment is usually not the most effective teaching method. Proverbs 8:33 says, “Listen to discipline” not, ‘Feel discipline.’ And Proverbs 17:10 points out that “a rebuke works deeper in one having understanding than striking a stupid one a hundred times.”
The word “rod” is translated from the Hebrew word she´vet. To the Hebrews, she´vet meant a stick or a staff, such as that used by a shepherd. In this context the rod of authority suggests loving guidance, not harsh brutality.
She´vet is often used symbolically in the Bible, representing authority. When referring to parental authority, “the rod” does not refer exclusively to physical punishment. It encompasses all forms of discipline, which most often need not be physical. And when physical discipline is employed, it is usually because other methods have proved unsuccessful. Proverbs 22:15 says that foolishness is “tied up” (“anchored,” NJB; “deep-rooted,” The New English Bible) with the heart of the one receiving physical discipline. More than mere childish frivolity is involved.
In the Bible, discipline is consistently linked with love and mildness, not with anger and brutality. The skillful counselor should be “gentle toward all, . . . restrained under evil, instructing with mildness those not favorably disposed.”—2 Timothy 2:24, 25.
Therefore, discipline is not an emotional outlet for the parent. Rather, it is a method of instruction. As such, it should teach an erring child. When administered in anger, physical discipline teaches the wrong lesson. It serves the need of the parent, not that of the child.
Furthermore, effective discipline has boundaries. This is especially vital to remember when administering physical discipline. Hitting or shaking an infant can lead to brain damage or even death. Going beyond the intended purpose of discipline—to correct and to teach—may lead to child abuse.
Discipline should not leave a child feeling abandoned. Rather, the child should sense that the parent is ‘with him’ as a loving, supportive encouragement. If physical discipline is deemed necessary, the child should understand why. Proverbs 29:15 says that “the rod and reproof are what give wisdom.”
It is a sad fact that today many use “the rod” of parental authority abusively. Yet, fault cannot be found with the Bible’s balanced principles. When we consider “the rod” in its context, we see that it serves to teach children, not to abuse them.
post #25 of 29
Could anyone help me with this verse? "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." Proverbs 29:15 . To me that sounds like both are to be used and that one is not better then the other. (rod over reproof or reproof over the rod). Sometimes all a child will need is reproof depending on what they have done,but the rod with out reproof does not work. What does everybody think?
post #26 of 29
Where does it say in that verse that one must use a rod to hit?

The original word, as explained above, is the hebrew word for the shepherd's staff.

A good shepherd NEVER hits his sheep. Instead he guides them with his rod. Sheep, like most herd animals, respond to cues that do not need to involve any physical contact. You can direct them and move them without touching them (I used to do that when I worked with horses). It was understood in those days that an expert herdsman possesed this skill.

These days people seem convinced that a rod is something you HIT with. And then they use that bible quote to justify hitting children. :
post #27 of 29
pixie - thanks for that! I like it, and I have based my understandings of the "rod verses" on the fact that the shebet was used as a symbol of authority and discipline. Being in agreement with these verses does not mean hitting your child with an inch-thick stick.

reference lady and other friends - are you TRULY interested in learning? b/c we have put lots of information out there. As has been stated before - this is not a place to debate, but a place for support and encouragement of gentle discipline. Please also see www.aolff.org and the articles listed there for more information on your specific question.
post #28 of 29
Could someone help me with something? I was wondering if there is a christian parenting site like this one? Has anybody heard of one?
post #29 of 29
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