Modest needs? UPDATE

[sunnylady303]

I know some of you all have experience with them on both sides and I was just wondering something. Some of you have kept up a little with my saga, but whether you have or not, I applied at modest needs about two weeks ago. I got prequalified and have been on their list for donors to help out with but no one has yet. There is only a set amount of time for it. This is for our October mortgage payment and I was so relieved when we got accepted and now I'm thinking that I might not get helped. Has anyone had experiences where they didn't get helped? Does anyone have any suggestions for me for talking to our bank? This is really a one time thing - we make enough to cover our payment we've just had (and continue to have) a very sick child that we have to pay some doctors for. Anyway - does anyone have any knowledge or advice? Thanks!

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I don't have an answer for you, but I was worried about the same type of thing happening when I applied. They accepted me, but then a neighbor stepped up and helped me out with my car repairs by doing it himself, so I withdrew my application before it went to the donor list. I was wondering exactly how it worked if you didn't get any donors. I hope you get help soon, mama. It sounds like a scary place to be.

[Freefromitall]

def speak to your bank! I know with our car loan one year, we were able to get a 3mo deferment, and it was enough to get us caught up, and back on our feet. Of course, every bank is different, but it won't hurt to go speak with them.

[SleeplessMommy]

Can you edit your text on the Modest Needs board? My changes bolded:

October Mortgage Payment ---> One Time Mortgage Payment
Our current situation is this: My two year old daughter has lung problems. We have health insurance but they will not pay for her lung and asthma issues. She is 'uninsurable.'

She has had ten hospitalizations in the 10 months. Our total un-reimbursed medical care costs this year have been $xxxx. In September she was gravely ill and we had to pay $xxxx in medications. We bought the medication and were not able to make our mortgage payment.

We are taking steps to insure that this is a one time occurrence. We have talked to the Governor's office and are negotiating to get put on the state CHIP insurance plan.
...

[sunnylady303]

I'm willing to try anything. I don't see a way to change it there but I'll call and see if they can. Just curious, although I'm happy to take your advice without it, why those changes? What good do you think they will do? Thanks for the help.

[SleeplessMommy]

It shows that the need is temporary and that you spent the mortgage money on a good cause (medical expenses for your daughter). It shows that there is a plan in place for you to move forward (state insurance program) and possible part time job for you.

Best wishes!

[Kellie_MO4]

I hope you get helped soon! I, too, would call and speak with the bank, let them know your situation and that you aren't not paying on purpose, and that it is a very temporary situation

[oneKnight]

Is there a church or community or city org you can ask too? For example, our utility company has a program, the regular payments are rounded up for everyone and the collected pennies add up to a fund, if you could get the utilities paid you could put that money on the mortgage.

Or alternately most services (like your internet, cable or even utilities) will let your bill slide one month, so you get 2 months before cut-off. You'd have to pay a late fee of course, but if it offset the timing just enough it might be worth it. I've had to do it before.

[SleeplessMommy]

She is a Pastor, as is her husband - she can't go out and ask for help locally, because there is always someone with a greater need in the local community. Also, it looks very bad for the church if the pastor has ask for assistance - even though there is a very good reason in her case.

I am sure she has contacted the bank, and as far as I know the bank has not initiated foreclosure. While it may be personally very painful not to make the mortgage payment, I think they will be OK. I really hope so anyway!

[baileyandmikey]

I don't know about modest needs... but I hope you get everything taken care of. (((HUGS)))

[feminist~mama]

Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy

She is a Pastor, as is her husband - she can't go out and ask for help locally, because there is always someone with a greater need in the local community. Also, it looks very bad for the church if the pastor has ask for assistance - even though there is a very good reason in her case.

I think it's important to remember that there will ALWAYS be someone with a "greater need" than your own. Always. While it's important to keep in mind/recognize/use to help keep your "needs" in perspecitive, it doesn't negate your need, KWIM?

As far as it "looks bad for the church"- I think that most folks understand that clergy/pastors/holy folks of all religions are relying on their God to take care of their needs- and that sometimes they need to ask for help too. No one I know expects that people go into religious work to make a bunch of money- and so extraordinary expenses are naturally difficult to deal with.

JMHO.

Best of luck to the OP!

[sunnylady303]

Thanks for the replies. We've been in and out so I hadn't had a chance to update. DD's been in the ER again, but no hospital admission thank goodness and she's ok, plus a 5 year old birthday party yesterday. Whew.

Anyway. I was not able to call modest needs about changing our description Friday and will call Monday maybe that will help.

Being pastors is a big part of it, but in general I believe pastors need to try to be a role model in lots of things - including being imperfect and needing help. But. The church has broken the bank this year giving us as much as a little church can. They really need for us to focus on the church's needs for a while, professionally I think that's appropriate, and asking for help would be a distraction. They have done what they can do, I think with generous spirits. We really need to get back to being their pastors. We've modeled asking for help enough this year and I feel like there is work to do. So there we are.

We have explored lots of other things - we are asking for help elsewhere from the hospital, etc. Thanks for the suggestions. I was mostly just looking for stories so I know how much I should be panicking at this point. Thank you all!

[phathui5]

Are you part of a larger denomination that you could get help from? We go to a Mennonite Church and if our church couldn't support the pastor, there are other resources available.

[sunnylady303]

Yes we are and we have! They have already paid several months of our medical bills from the denominational ministerial emergency fund - equalling at least $15,000. We really can't ask them for more. They may be able to help a bit more next year, we'll see. There's not much help for us in the short term. You can check out this thread to see all we've tried (as well as the brilliance and supportiveness of MDC moms!) http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=986810

[sunnylady303]

UPDATE: Modest needs says they can only revise the description if the circumstances change not just for wording. They were also not encouraging about my need being met. Things have understandably really slowed down for them. They were very nice and sympathetic. They're a good organization, but they can't do anything really. It was hard to ask for help and it looks like it won't pan out anyway.

Also our mortgage company says there is nothing they can do for us because we've only had the house for less than 6 months. The woman was even rude - "if you can't afford the house, you shouldn't have bought it." Well, you jerk, I wanted to say, we can afford it, and are making every change in the world to make sure we aren't short again but it's just one month. I asked if we could split that payment into two - we could juggle bills and maybe do that. I've not been in this position since college and find myself more and more lost. Anyway.

I took dd to the doctor today and her oxygen is low and she's coughing. I so hope this isn't a hospital night. I can't imagine there is anywhere else to turn for help. but I'm certainly interested in ideas if anyone has any.

[spring978]

Call the morgage company AGAIN talk to a supervisor ask again about splitting the payment or tacking it on at the end follow that phone call if not productive to a letter to the head branch, once again explaining and asking.

[sanguine_speed]

I am so sorry that meeting your child's medical needs is causing you such financial hardship. I'm being serious when I ask: is it possible to move to Canada and become a permanent resident?

[Ruthla]

Have you tried applying for Medicaid? If you get approved, you'll get 3 months' worth of back pay (meaning if you apply November 18th and are approved, they'll pay for medical costs starting from August 18th or 19th.) Even if you "make too much money" you might qualify for a "spend down" plan- this means that, say you may $1,000 too much for Medicaid- so you pay the first $1,000 in medical bills per month and they cover the rest.

It's definitely worth investigating- if DD ends up hosptialized, talk to the hospital social worker- he or she might even help you apply.

[sunnylady303]

Don't think we haven't considered it! (I'm being serious too!) I think it's awful that this is the way insurance works for some families in the US.

[sunnylady303]

I will call the bank again.

And we have applied for a spenddown for Sept. When that goes through they will put one through for July and at that point there is hope that they can put her on Medicaid despite the legal issues. It is one of the long term things we are working on but it doesn't help NOW. Long term we are working so hard to make sure we'll be ok. It's just the next few months!