Wwyd?

[frontierpsych]

I've always wanted more than one child. My only is just 2.5 mo right now, so this is a question pertaining to the future.

If you really wanted more than one child, and really did NOT want a hospital birth, wwyd in this situation? My first daughter was stillborn. Her birth was a UC and her cord got compressed between my pelvis and her shoulder (severe shoulder dystocia). I transferred post partum (had paramedics deliver her) and ended up hemorrhaging severely and needing several units of blood.
My son's birth was a MW assisted homebirth that went smoothly up until the last minute, he also had shoulder dystocia, and my midwife had a difficult time turning him (you can read here account of the birth here: http://thebabycatcher.blogspot.com/2...ow-pelvis.html). I also lost a lot of blood in that birth and can no longer legally have a MW attended homebirth in my state.

What would you do given my situation?

[zinemama]

With that history, if I wanted another child, being in a hospital where I could get medical help instantly if I needed it would outweigh my desire for a homebirth.

[chrissy]

I'm not sure how to vote in your poll, other I guess.

I'm with zinemama, if I really wanted another child I'd have a hospital birth. I'd try to find a natural minded OB or CNM, and just realize that it's what I had to do to have a healthy baby. Personally, I would not UC, nor hire an underground midwife in that situation.

Oh, and I'd get a doula too.

[transformed]

I would get counseling to help me figure out whats right for me.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by chrissy

Oh, and I'd get a doula too.

Yeah, my mw will be my doula if I do decide to have more while we're living here.

[acp]

Given that history, I would have a hospital birth.
I would do research, and try to find the hospital I felt most comfortable with that is most supportive of natural birth, and see if it was possible to have a mw-assisted birth in a hospital, and probably hire a doula, but I would not do UC or have an underground mw.
I picked "other," though I suppose I could have done the first one - show up at the hospital late and pushing. I just don't think you want to put the pressure on yourself to show up THAT late, since you don't want to have the baby in the car, and transition/pushing on the way to the hospital would not be particularly fun if you can avoid it. Laboring as long as you can at home is a great idea, though, and I'd definitely suggest waiting to get to the hospital until your labor is more advanced.

For the record, a good hospital birth IS possible - no reason you have to be terrified of it. I'm having a home birth this time, but with my first baby, we had a hospital birth. I did a ton of research, found a great, small mw practice that I was really comfortable with, and that practiced at a hospital that was much farther away than many, but that seemed by far the most likely to give me the birth experience I wanted. I had a long, protracted labor, a posterior position, and my water broke well over 24 hours before the baby actually arrived, but I had zero pressure to hurry things along from anyone, was never offered pain medication, was able to labor in the tub as long as I wanted (and they could do the required couple minutes of fetal monitoring every hour while i was in the tub), didn't have to have an IV, could drink water, was often left alone if I wanted to be, and walked around outside for a while when I just wanted to be moving. We had a great, healthy natural birth, and no one pushed any procedures on my baby that I didn't want done. The only reason I'm having a home birth this time is because it still wasn't *home* - and I want that more intimate, relaxed setting, and the chance to have our toddler around for the birth.

I realize I was lucky and that it can be hard to have a hospital experience like that - I just wanted to assure you that it is possible, and you don't need to be terrified of having a baby in the hospital if that's the avenue you need to take. Sometimes I think it's just as easy to have an overblown fear of hospitals as it is for so much of society to have an overblown fear of home births.
Good luck making your decision! I'm sorry you can't have the midwife-assisted home birth that you would like to have.

[nummies]

What about a birth center? Close to a hospital.

If I was in your situation and wanted another child, I would really consider a hospital or birth center birth with more than one CNM on staff.

I would aslo maybe think about waiting to TTC though. Allow your body a chance to heal. s

[BarefootScientist]

Honestly if it was me I might look into adoption. But if I really wanted to birth another child I would have a hospital birth. I would try not to show up pushing though, especially given that history. Right before transition starts would be a great time (for me, but it depends on how long your transition usually is. Mine was super-short.)

Good luck and

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by acp

Given that history, I would have a hospital birth.
I would do research, and try to find the hospital I felt most comfortable with that is most supportive of natural birth, and see if it was possible to have a mw-assisted birth in a hospital, and probably hire a doula, but I would not do UC or have an underground mw.

My insurance covers only the one local hospital here (I paid out of pocket for my HB) which I'm not sure whether they are all that NCB friendly or not, but I don't think they have midwives there.

Originally Posted by nummies

What about a birth center? Close to a hospital

The closest on is an hour and a half away. My last birth was only about 3 hours from the onset of active labor to holding baby.



I am going in soon to get a well-woman check up and talk about birth control. Maybe I'll ask to talk to one of the OBs there and get a feel for their attitude toward natural birth.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by transformed

I would get counseling to help me figure out whats right for me.

I thought about it, but with the attitude toward birth in this country I think I'd be hard-pressed to find a counselor that would understand my desire for a homebirth. It seems more likely that they'd consider this desire something to be "fixed" like OCD or something.

[karina5]

OP, I am all about homebirths and think they are great, but given your situation it seems a hospital may be best IMO.

Can I ask why you are so opposed?

[weliveintheforest]

Do you know why the bleeding happened? Was it something likely to happen again? I voted 'underground midwife', because I would be more comfortable with an experienced woman around, but probably wouldn't plan a hospital birth.

[Heavenly]

No offence, but why would you even consider anything BUT a hospital birth? Isn't a healthy baby the goal???? I tried for a homebirth myself, so I am not against them, but in your situation....well, there are medical interventions for a reason and sometimes they are necessary.

[maxmama]

A history of shoulder dystocia and a postpartum bleed?

Hospital.

Those are both things that have an increased risk of recurrence. People get risked out for dumb reasons, but this is not one of them. These are reasonable things to plan a hospital birth for.

Have a doula, have a clear birth plan, ask for a NCB-friendly labor nurse (who will have much more of an impact on your labor and birth than your doc will) and have a good birth.

[claddaghmom]

Did you have pressure on the umbilical cord both times? You had PPH both times? DO you know why that happened...IOW can you be prepared to stop the PPH?

[purplepaperclip]

If I had your background, I would definately go with the hospital birth. I think that sometimes with all the focus we put on having our desired births for our children, it can be easy to lose sight that a healthy baby and mama are all that matters no matter how baby gets here. KWIM? I wish you all the best and hope that when the time is right for you to have another baby, you can find the right kind of medical support you desire.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by karina5

OP, I am all about homebirths and think they are great, but given your situation it seems a hospital may be best IMO.

Can I ask why you are so opposed?

Originally Posted by weliveintheforest

Do you know why the bleeding happened? Was it something likely to happen again? I voted 'underground midwife', because I would be more comfortable with an experienced woman around, but probably wouldn't plan a hospital birth.

The only reason I was "approved" for a homebirth after my hemorrhage last time was because there was a "reason" for it: after I transferred with my UC I still had not birthed the placenta, so the doc decided to reach his hand INTO my uterus to remove the placenta. I hemorrhaged very badly (BP would not register, after 3 units BP was only 60/30, Iron was about a 5 at 6 weeks post-partum). When the doc gave me the transfusion he told me "This is man blood, so don't be surprised if you start feeling a bit smarter." :

This time I did have a low-lying placenta which is known to cause some bleeding (takes longer for blood vessels to constrict at the bottom of the uterus) but apparently there is a legal limit to the amount you can bleed after birth and still have a homebirth, and I surpassed that. The bleeding was controlled with IV, herbs, and pitocin that time, but it was still more than it should have been and the first few days post-partum were pretty difficult, my iron is still a bit low, but I'm working on it.

[StrawberryFields]

If I really wanted more children, I would not let a hospital birth stand in my way. I'd labor at home as long as possible and go in when I felt ready to. I would interview providers and ask for recommendations until I found a doctor and hospital I was comfortable with.

I think it boils down to why you are so opposed to hospital birth, whether it is the right decision for you. I didn't want a hospital birth under any circumstances but I ended up transferring and my experience was very positive. I came in late in my labor and had my baby and checked out the next morning. No one hassled me about circ or vaccines or eye goop. I pushed in different positions. They didn't take my baby from me, cut me, bulldoze me or do anything disrespectful. They supported breastfeeding. While I won't deny it was more comfortable to labor at home (dd was a successful homebirth) my hospital birth was definitely not so terrible that I would want to stop having children in order to avoid going through it again.

I hope you come to the decision that is right for you and your family.

[famousmockngbrd]

It's interesting to me that the only option in your poll for a hospital birth as to show up late during the pushing stage. Since your problems developed during the pushing stage, IMO that is too late to be trying to get to the hospital, not to mention that seems incredibly uncomfortable and disruptive to the process. Personally, I don't think I would even be capable of trying to go anywhere at that time. During DD's homebirth I was unable to crawl 20 feet from the tub to my bed while pushing. She was born about three feet from the tub, on the floor. But that's just my experience.

So, based on your poll options, it seems like birthing in a hospital is not something you are really willing to do, so in that case I would recommend adoption. For me, the desire to have a biological child would far outweigh my dislike of hospital births, but for you that may not be true. I would definitely not attempt to have another homebirth under the circumstances you describe.

[Citykid]

Personally I'd make peace with a hospital birth if I had your history. I'd do that before I'd go for adoption or surrogacy. If you want another biological child, it sounds like you can definitely have one, you just need some help. And there's nothing wrong with accepting help.