Wwyd? - Page 2

[Ks Mama]

If pregnancy & birth is really something I'd really want to experience again, then I'd look into finding the safest most mother/baby friendly hospital possible, with a doula that you really click with, who fully understands your concerns.

Given your history - and I say this with the deepest & most sincere sadness for your loss - your body isn't suited for unassisted childbirth.

There are good reasons for hospitals during birth: one of those being as assistance for those of us who want to birth our own children, but who cannot have healthy babies without professional help & emergency life saving equipment available. I honestly can't believe, given the experiences you've shared, that the majority of folks who have taken this poll recommend you show up late at the hospital pushing! But because you didn't have an in-between that & c-section, I voted other.

Having a safe, satisfying, healing birth in a hospital IS possible. It really truly is. There was a great article in mothering that I read while pregnant with my son... I believe it was called "Homebirth at the Hospital" - I don't remember what date. But its a really inspiring story.

If you cannot get beyond your fears or concerns about a hospital birth though, then I'd strongly consider adoption.

I am truly sorry for the loss of your child, and hope you can find peace in your future decisions!

[famousmockngbrd]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

When the doc gave me the transfusion he told me "This is man blood, so don't be surprised if you start feeling a bit smarter." :

There are no words to describe how much that pisses me off. What a UAV. I'm so sorry you had to listen to that crap.

[prettypixels]

I would do everything in my power to find a mom/baby friendly hospital to birth in, and be proactive about it. Learn about the hospital, get to know the L&D floor and policies, and do what I can to make the best of it. Lots of women have wonderful births in hospital, it doesn't have to be all bad. And you know how to prep for a home birth you read a zillion beautiful homebirth stories? Well, read some beautiful hospital birth stories. They are out there. That is what I would do, anyways.

[mamabadger]

Personally, I would probably opt for a hospital birth, merely because of the legal issues, but would still try and have a midwife attend me. I am not so sure about the assumption by some PPs that a hospital/doctors would be the obvious solution to your problems. Hospitals are not necessarily better at managing things like shoulder distocia and heavy bleeding. They would be more likely to push for Pitocin or a C/S, given your history.

[JosieAK]

I agree with the above comments. My midwife knows which hospitals, and specifically which doctors, are friendly towards natural birth. The back up doctor she uses was trained by midwives! You CAN find someone (even if it is some distance away) who you can work with and trust. You CAN develop a plan and find a support team who will help you birth in the hospital. Like others said, read lots of positive hospital birthing stories (I'm doing the same to get ready for home birth).

Enjoy your sweet little one, relax, and take care of yourself. Blessings!

[GooeyRN]

I would have a hospital birth with your history. You can always labor in a hotel room or at home or whatever until you feel the time is getting close.

I just reread your post and noticed you have fast labors. I would have a hospital birth and show up once things were regular and you were sure it was labor, in your situation.

[frontierpsych]

also wanted to add: the hospital covered by insurance is literally 5 minutes from my house. As for walking during labour, with my first I HAD to be up and walking, even managed to make it upstairs during pushing (LONG pushing phase!) with my second, ctrx were not really painful until I was in or near transition but at that time I did find it difficult to walk. The two labours were so different it's hard to put my finger on "how I labor" to tell whether I'd be okay showing up late.

I also had a m/c between the two pregnancies, at 10 weeks. I went to my first prenatal at the hospital by my mom's house (I was visiting when I found out I was pregnant) and the first thing they asked when they looked at my history was "You're due around X... when would you like us to schedule your c-section?"

[paquerette]

What aspect of a hospital is supposed to be safer for a dystocia?

The homebirth midwife knew how to deal with the dystocia situation. What's the likelihood that anyone in a hospital knows how and won't just panic and start chopping? I think that dystocia is one complication that is safer dealt with at home, or at least by a good midwife. At the very least I would make sure that whoever I interviewed for the hospital birth would be trained and experienced in the gaskin maneuver and would be guaranteed to have that person at my birth.

But I'm not sure about the hemorrhage. I think that even if you know for sure you're going to have PPH, it's probably more pleasant to birth at home and then transfer, avoid the baby becoming a patient, etc. And of course you don't know that for sure.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by paquerette

What aspect of a hospital is supposed to be safer for a dystocia?

The homebirth midwife knew how to deal with the dystocia situation. What's the likelihood that anyone in a hospital knows how and won't just panic and start chopping? I think that dystocia is one complication that is safer dealt with at home, or at least by a good midwife. At the very least I would make sure that whoever I interviewed for the hospital birth would be trained and experienced in the gaskin maneuver and would be guaranteed to have that person at my birth.

But I'm not sure about the hemorrhage. I think that even if you know for sure you're going to have PPH, it's probably more pleasant to birth at home and then transfer, avoid the baby becoming a patient, etc. And of course you don't know that for sure.

That's kind of what I was thinking, but then there is that teensy tiny little legal issue to deal with... Even if I could find an underground midwife, I doubt they'd want to take on a mom who they knew would most likely have to transfer.

[kama'aina mama]

If I were in your situation I would accept that a hospital birth is probably the only safe choice, throw a brief pity party for the happy hippie birth of my dreams and then get to work finding an OB practice that would support me in making as many of my preferred birth choices possible in a hospital environment.

And wow, can I object to the characterization that people in hospitals routinely "panic and start chopping"?

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by Heavenly

No offence, but why would you even consider anything BUT a hospital birth? Isn't a healthy baby the goal????

Of course, but what evidence do I have that hospital birth is the best/only way to achieve this?

Originally Posted by suebee79

it can be easy to lose sight that a healthy baby and mama are all that matters no matter how baby gets here. KWIM?

No, I don't know what you mean. Can you explain why you think that healthy baby and mama are ALL that matters? If that's the case, as c/s is as good as a hb is as good as a hospital birth, and it's all the same as long as mom and baby are healthy...

[frontierpsych]

dp.

[swimswamswum]

Originally Posted by kama'aina mama

If I were in your situation I would accept that a hospital birth is probably the only safe choice, throw a brief pity party for the happy hippie birth of my dreams and then get to work finding an OB practice that would support me in making as many of my preferred birth choices possible in a hospital environment.

And wow, can I object to the characterization that people in hospitals routinely "panic and start chopping"?

I totally agree. I voted for C/S even though I meant, "very medicalized pregnancy with an OB". I wouldn't risk my health or that of my children with your history.

FWIW, I have and plan to have more out of hospital midwife attended births. I think they're wonderful for good candidates. If I had your history I would absolutely go the super observed OBGYN route. IMHO that's what OBGYNs are for. Also, my trusted midwives wouldn't accept me as a patient if I had your history.

[purplepaperclip]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

Of course, but what evidence do I have that hospital birth is the best/only way to achieve this?



No, I don't know what you mean. Can you explain why you think that healthy baby and mama are ALL that matters? If that's the case, as c/s is as good as a hb is as good as a hospital birth, and it's all the same as long as mom and baby are healthy...

I think you are exaggerating a bit here. Obviously a c/s is not for every birth. You asked for opinions. I gave mine. What is MORE important than a healthy baby?

[barefootpoetry]

Originally Posted by swimswamswum

If I had your history I would absolutely go the super observed OBGYN route. IMHO that's what OBGYNs are for.

I absolutely agree. Cases like yours are what OBs should be doing, all day long, not the normal uneventful births. It's too bad that you are the former and not the latter, but that's the card you were dealt in life...it sucks, but if you want another child I suggest making the best of a hospital birth. That's what I would do. I'm as "happy hippie homebirth dream" as they get, but I know a real risk factor from a "maybe" one.

[maxmama]

Originally Posted by mamabadger

Personally, I would probably opt for a hospital birth, merely because of the legal issues, but would still try and have a midwife attend me. I am not so sure about the assumption by some PPs that a hospital/doctors would be the obvious solution to your problems. Hospitals are not necessarily better at managing things like shoulder distocia and heavy bleeding. They would be more likely to push for Pitocin or a C/S, given your history.

Really? Homebirth MWs are better at transfusing, using a Bakri balloon and ligating the hypogastric artery? Because with a bad bleed, that's what you're doing.

[maxmama]

Originally Posted by paquerette

What aspect of a hospital is supposed to be safer for a dystocia?

The homebirth midwife knew how to deal with the dystocia situation. What's the likelihood that anyone in a hospital knows how and won't just panic and start chopping? .

Um, the fact that you have help, immediate resus available and could, in theory, do Zavanelli?

Do you think OBs don't know about McRobert's, Woods screw, Gaskin or any other maneuvers for SD?

[Sprungthe2.50]

It may not be the ideal, but I'd go and have a hospital birth, it's the baby, not the birth that is really important, and while I totally understand your preference for a homebirth, I think you will be happier for having your baby healthy and not having you or your baby in danger.

And please, don't find an underground midwife, if there is a midwife that is willing to break the law and do things covertly, then she can't be verifiable as a legitimate midwife that would have the credentials to deliver your baby and see you through labor safely.

I'd ask myself WHY you are really against the idea of a hospital birth, what is it that disturbs you and is there anyway you can investigate the hospital to see if they would be compliant with your birthing plan. If you have had difficult labours before, there is more reason to make sure you have the resources you need as a matter of safety.

And please, again, do not find an underground mid-wife. If you want to go another state where you could have a good mid-wife, than fine, but don't break the law. At worst you could get a real nut that costs you, and your baby both health and perhaps life, at best you could face prosecution.

[ccohenou]

I would find a good doctor willing to work with a natural birth, and have the baby in the hospital. I think a safe, respectful hospital birth really is "the ideal" in a situation like this, with a history of very serious complications. Good doctors and CNMs are out there.

Also, with a history of repeated shoulder dystocia with a fatality, I would seriously consider a planned cesarean. I wouldn't necessarily plan one in the end, but I would give it serious consideration with an open mind.

And if I felt within myself that I could not do what would be safest for myself and my baby, I would not have another child.

So that's something like "three of the above."

[Ks Mama]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

If that's the case, as c/s is as good as a hb is as good as a hospital birth, and it's all the same as long as mom and baby are healthy...

Yes, my c/s was as good as anyone's homebirth or vaginal hospital birth. I do think, though, that its shaky ground to be rating births.

But if we ARE qualifying births, and can use the method/place of delivery as a contributing factor in the outcome of the health of baby, then I'd DEFINITELY rate a healthy baby delivered by c/s higher than an unhealthy baby delivered in any other way.

It is precisely because of my hospital birth that myself & my baby are healthy - and that IS the most important thing to me.

That doesn't discount my experiences getting to the point of a healthy baby.