Originally Posted by Ks Mama
AP/gentle parenting is our philosophical guideline for sure. We really don't stray from that.
The problem I'm seeing with the question & some answers is that I wouldn't necessarily call things like cloth diapering AP and disposable diapering non-AP. Somethings just aren't AP related, but are more crunchy, enviromental, green, offbeat, whatever. And honestly, I think it doesn't REALLY matter in the long run what you "are", but rather what you DO.
The IMPORTANT thing is that you RESPECT & HONOR your children as independent beings with real feelings & needs.
So beautifully stated! (bolding mine)
Originally Posted by alexsam
I don't think you have to do "one or the other", as I don't think that they really exist that way. Ask people what "AP" means or "mainstream" and you will get a million answers. If you want to be technical, AP is just a handful of "prcinipals", such as loving feeding (breastfeeding or "bottle-nursing"), preparing for pregnancy and birth, babywearing, etc. (here are the "8 principals": http://www.attachmentparenting.org/p...principles.php
). There are many "mainstream" ways to do AP, and many AP ways to do things that some may consider mainstream.
I think all too often we make this division between "us and them" which ends up shorting everyone. The "mainstream" look like "badguys" and those striving to "be AP" are always measuring themselves to some sort of ideal, like there is a club you can only get into if you "do all the right crunchy things" and you are a failure if you ever do anything less than the absolute ideal.
I think setting up this false AP standard really puts a lot of pressure on people, especially new moms. They think AP is "hard" or that they are not good enough if they must deviate from the plan. Really, AP is a few principals that all boil down to listening to your children and treating them with love and respect for their needs.
That can look like many things.
Thank you, alexsam, for giving us the list of the principals of AP. After reading that I can proudly state that I am about 95% AP (I don't always
offer the healthiest food choices. Very far from the unhealthiest, but every once in a while DD gets some good old fashoned Junk food. (chips or cookies or fries.
) And sometimes we skip breakfast.
: But DD is still nursing and then once she gets to Daycare they give her fruit or yoghurt, so I know she is not starving. Besides, sometimes she just doesn't want breakfast after having nursed. But I'm getting OT.)
As far as unNFL, we vaxed, no CD (It would be impossible without a dryer, which are very uncommon here in Italy, and I am completely unwilling to have diapers hanging to dry in my living room.) and, as stated above, indulge in occasional junk food and cartoons. (I have to have a 1/2 an hour of Teletubbies or I would never get dinner cooked!)
But we do co-sleep, plan on CLW, nurse on demand (most of the time) and although we do our stroller now that DD is 24 lbs, I do wear her often. Sometimes she just wants to be carried and I'm happy to carry her. I'm sure there is more to add, but that's all I can think of right now.