I've had one at a freestanding birth center and one at home. I would never plan a birth anywhere but home again. It was an amazing experience, and I just believe that home is overall safer. I would never actually choose to give birth in a hospital where all the germs and sick people are. If I was forced to transfer to a hospital, that would just be what would happen, but I would never plan it that way.
I was nervous too, though, and did not feel confident in the beginning, but I think the more you read, the more you watch, the more confident you become. A great book to read is The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.
Just because you give birth in a hospital, does not mean it is somehow "safer". Things still go wrong in the hospital, and they are not standing there in the corner of the room with a scalpel ready to give you a c-section. PLUS, when you are at home, with a competent knowledgeable midwife who is familiar with the natural processes of birth, they are with you all the time, whereas in a hospital you likely have a nurse coming to check on you a couple of times an hour, and she is watching several other people, and really how much can she pick up on? I think a lot more things can go wrong in the hospital. Yes, things can go wrong in birth, but really those are the outlying instances. Most of the time, everything is fine. And you just have to trust that you are making the choice you feel the best about. For me, I felt safer at home. Less germs (especially abx-resistant germs) in my home, at home you are around the germs that belong to you and your family not all the sick people in the hospital. Being comfortable and allowing labor to progress normally. Feeling safe and trusting birth. It is an amazing experience. Plus, I would read about how in other countries, homebirth IS the norm, and they actually have better maternal and neonatal outcomes than we do in the US with with all of our high-tech medical "life-saving" devices.
I was nervous too, though, and did not feel confident in the beginning, but I think the more you read, the more you watch, the more confident you become. A great book to read is The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth.
Just because you give birth in a hospital, does not mean it is somehow "safer". Things still go wrong in the hospital, and they are not standing there in the corner of the room with a scalpel ready to give you a c-section. PLUS, when you are at home, with a competent knowledgeable midwife who is familiar with the natural processes of birth, they are with you all the time, whereas in a hospital you likely have a nurse coming to check on you a couple of times an hour, and she is watching several other people, and really how much can she pick up on? I think a lot more things can go wrong in the hospital. Yes, things can go wrong in birth, but really those are the outlying instances. Most of the time, everything is fine. And you just have to trust that you are making the choice you feel the best about. For me, I felt safer at home. Less germs (especially abx-resistant germs) in my home, at home you are around the germs that belong to you and your family not all the sick people in the hospital. Being comfortable and allowing labor to progress normally. Feeling safe and trusting birth. It is an amazing experience. Plus, I would read about how in other countries, homebirth IS the norm, and they actually have better maternal and neonatal outcomes than we do in the US with with all of our high-tech medical "life-saving" devices.
I am currently just overdue with baby #3 and planning another homebirth with my lovely midwives. 
The one thing I wasn't really expecting was the pain factor- I think a lot of info kind of glosses over the pain- saying that fear causes pain, or if you have more freedom to move etc you won't feel it as much etc. It was not true for me- I would say that I handled the pain better than my hospital birth, but it was still just as painful (except the tear free recovery!
) and there was nothing for me to fear. I guess I was expecting it to hurt a lot less because I would be free from pushy hospital staff, no one threatening me, a tub full of hot water for comfort, no fear or panic, etc- but it still hurt. I'm not trying to scare you, but I do think that women need to have a realistic view of what childbirth often entails whether at hospital or home. 
This time I am trying to prepare my mind to expect the worst- BUT to embrace the pain as I welcome our long awaited child into the world and focus on the amazing feeling I had once my last child was in my arms- all the pain forgotten in that one instant. 
: Thanks a ton!!!!!!!!
I can't imagine how tragic that must have been and must still be for you.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Certainly, if you feel more comfortable in hospitals after that experience, then you do what you need to do.
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