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Those with a HB under their belt... - Page 5

post #81 of 93
Two homebirths here. Wouldn't change a thing. I don't know anyone personally who regretted their homebirth, but I do have a friend who had a bad midwife experience and ended up in the hospital. She felt bummed about not birthing at home and ending up with a section, but it was a case where it was necessary. At that point I reassured her that the end result of a healthy baby was the most important thing.

I think it helps to examine your specific fears - are you afraid of pain? Loss? Both?

I have to add is that some people seem to have an idea that a birth at home is going to be this romantic blissed out thing - which it can be, for sure, but that doesn't mean pain-free. I also think our culture tends to be fairly wimpy about pain, taking meds for every little thing that bothers us. Birth is painful. It's a trial by fire!

But in between those excruciating contractions is a really nice endorphin high, if you can ride out that wave of pain.

I don't mean to scare people but I don't feel shy about saying that it is going to hurt like everything and worse, and that you might crap yourself in front of the people present, and so forth.

I guess maybe it helps to be a little bit of a masochist and not afraid of some pain and mess I think of it in a warrior type mindframe - bring it on, I'm ready! I feel like I'm training for a "big match"! I know it's going to suck and hurt, but what doesn't kill me makes me stronger. I think you've got to be a little tough, and if you aren't so much to begin with, you will be afterwards

As for the worries about complications/loss those things you can read up on and discuss with your midwife. What are complications that could happen? What would you do in the case of...? Etc.

The provider is so important, and it is nice to have a "good rapport" with them but ultimately you want to know from others who have birthed with them how it went. My midwife isn't incredibly personable but I knew of many people who were very happy with their birth outcomes and her skills. Another midwife in town who most people say is very charismatic turned out to not be such a great midwife and has even had some legal issues. So I think it helps to ask around and get references!
post #82 of 93
I've had 2 does that answer your question?
post #83 of 93
i have always wanted to homebirth and had a great UC. it was a fantastic experience. i wouldn't do it any other way, unless i had a medical need.
post #84 of 93
I've loved both my homebirths. Due any day now and planning a 3rd homebirth.
post #85 of 93
My homebirth was the most empowering thing I have ever done in my life. I would never give birth in a hospital again (unless, of course, problems..blah blahblah).
post #86 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munki'sMom View Post
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?

We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".

Is this true?

Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
I would not describe my hb as being a bad experience, far from it! There were, however, things I was disappointed about and hope to avoid the next time. I have to believe that those feelings are quite common, no matter where you birth!

I'd absolutely hb again. I would never choose to go to the hospital.

I'm sorry you're nervous... for me, I kept reading GOOD birhtstories, I did my Bradley exercises, I talked with DH and my midwife, and tried to envision a postive experience. Good luck!
post #87 of 93
I'm having another home birth next summer. :
I've had a hospital birth as well, and would certainly never *choose* one again over birthing at home.
post #88 of 93
My home birth was really empowering and absolutely the most amazing experience in my life! I was one of the "lucky" ones that can honestly say it was absolutely pain free:::! I think I was so full of RRL tea and so busy running after the toddler before dh came from work that I had no time to pay attention to the contractions and the whole intense thing lasted only about 15 min. I also had a hospital birth (induced) that was emotionally and physically really traumatic and painful despite all the drugs they have given me. If I ever have another baby it is going to be BORN AT HOME!
It is normal to be nervous, but as one of the midwifes told me - it takes about 30min to prepare the operating theatre so I could either be lying on the bed in hospital waiting or be in an ambulance transferring from home if there was any major emergency.
post #89 of 93
I had a homebirth VBAC, (homebirth after c/section) and I can tell you from my experience that the height of transition didn't give me pain that was any worse than only making it to 4 cm induced with Pitocin the first time around. That first time ended with epidural and section, and the difference between the two experiences was night and day. I won't tell you it was painless, but being respected and able to birth in any position I wanted, to labor standing up and squatting/bending over through contractions as I felt like, to eat and drink and sing and holler as I felt like, and having everyone instantly fall silent when I snapped "Shut up!" when I had been all chatty and joking moments before...I was not under threat of someone violating me, overriding me, telling me what to do, or threatening me with interventions and section, and therefore I was never afraid. And being unafraid REALLY helped. Being able to "go within" really helped.
And the inflatable 100 gallon labor pool really helped.
But nothing about the unmedicated birth of a 10+ lb baby with nuchal arm ever got worse than that 4 cm dilation on Pitocin, and that tells the tale to me. Having midwives who we calm and competent, and a doula who was there to assist DH and DD and support them emotionally, really helped. DH went nuts with fear during the hospital fiasco, and also went nuts with fear during the homebirth, and there were times he just had to leave when I was hollering, and the doula was there for him while the midwives were there for me. But it sounds like your DH is already in a better place regarding birth, so you have that blessing.

It was intense, and of course I reached the magic point every woman does of "I can't do it!" (which I knew I could but it helped and actually made me feel better, to protest), and I also reached the point of getting myself through the next pushing contraction by saying "Just one more is all" but I did do it, and now I have a proud, joyous birth memory and pics, which helps resolve my sad angry feelings about the section of my 1st child.
Knowing how it feels each way, I would homebirth again, for sure, if there were a next time.
post #90 of 93
I'm in the shout it from the rooftops, homebirth is awesome camp! It's so much more humane than what I've seen of hospital births. Better recovery, little PPD, and there's so much a MW can handle at home. More than I would have ever guessed. Read some about the Farm, you can have a rewarding homebirth with many, many different circumstances.

Wouldn't consider doing it any other way, personally. I understand why some women choose hospitals, and I try not to be pushy about HBs, but I really think you won't regret it.

Here's my story:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=925854

First time mother, great homebirth of full term twin girls!

Sure, there are things I would have done differently. And I happened to have two midwives because of timing. That really opened my eyes to the differences between caregivers. But as a PP mentioned, even at it's worst, my HB was way better than a hospital birth for me would have been.

Read all you can with a rational eye. Satisfy yourself about the risks and everything that happens. So when you have your birth, you can focus on the experience and not on your anxiety. Being informed helps a lot, and it sounds like you have a supportive DH. Congrats.

Best wishes!
post #91 of 93
I've had 3 homebirths. They were absolutely not easy - especially the first - but I certainly wouldn't call them traumatic! It's like: when I was a kid, I used to read adventure stories and wish for a difficult, scary quest that would require all my strength, and from which I could come back feeling like a hero. I got that. (And if anybody says I don't get a medal - if you truly feel like a hero, you don't need one. )
post #92 of 93
The things that I am upset about with my homebirth could have happened in the hospital. I would be much more upset if I had been in the hospital...

1. My husband took the baby, left the room, and invited people to come an see the baby while I was being stitched up. I needed a hand to hold!

2. Not enough litacain was used when the stitched me up. All I could think of was that I did not want anything sharp in that area. Had I had someone who could think clearly to put things in perspective the outcome would have been better. Again, a hand to hold would have been wonderful!

I did not have a doula and next time we are going to have doula money saved before ttc! I'm hoping that if I pay someone to be right there rather than relying on my husband who apparently felt like a volunteer that I will not be alone with the midwife and a needle.
post #93 of 93
Quote:
Originally Posted by Munki'sMom View Post
Would you ever describe it as being a bad experience? One you would not do again?

We are having our 1st HB in 3 weeks (yikes!) and I'm really nervous. My hubby always says "I have never met someone who had a HB that would not do it again, so it must have been fine/awesome".

Is this true?

Any words of wisdom for me? How can I control my nerves? What if I get into this and it is horrible?
I've had three homebirths. They weren't perfect (nothing in life is) but I would never change a thing and have no regrets, most especially when it comes to place of birth.

If you are having very strong fears, I'd ask yourself why. just find some peace, be quiet and empty and think of nothing until you figure it out.
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