or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › why are so many boys treated as sub-humans?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

why are so many boys treated as sub-humans?

post #1 of 128
Thread Starter 
....it sickens me daily, in countless interactions with random people.

What is wrong with people??? The emotional cruelty that they must endure, right from Day 1 in the hospital, until they are out on their own is disgusting and unbelievable. what a sick world this is. grrrrrrrrrr.

rant over.
post #2 of 128


I know what you mean.
post #3 of 128
You know whats been bothering me for awhile? Girls clothing. No, seriously, Im all for cute slogans like "girl power" thats fine. Its the ones that say "Boys are stupid" "I hate boys" things like that. And in small girls sizes. like for five year olds. I cant imagine my five year old boy knowing how to deal with that.
post #4 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
You know whats been bothering me for awhile? Girls clothing. No, seriously, Im all for cute slogans like "girl power" thats fine. Its the ones that say "Boys are stupid" "I hate boys" things like that. And in small girls sizes. like for five year olds. I cant imagine my five year old boy knowing how to deal with that.
I don't even like that girl power stuff b/c it always ends up with, "girls rule and boys drool"
post #5 of 128
Maybe you could be more specific? I am the mother of boys and most of my friends have boys. I have never seen any of these children treated as "sub human."
post #6 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by zinemama View Post
Maybe you could be more specific? I am the mother of boys and most of my friends have boys. I have never seen any of these children treated as "sub human."
:
post #7 of 128
I dont know, maybe she meant the type of parents who tell boys not to cry? Belittle them for showing emotions maybe?
post #8 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
I dont know, maybe she meant the type of parents who tell boys not to cry? Belittle them for showing emotions maybe?
I haven't seen that since my stepfather did that to my brother, in the early 80's. I think most people have evolved somewhat since then.
post #9 of 128
My oldest was born in 1991. when he was about five or so, late 90's, some ex friends of mine were told that thier seven year old had mooned someone at school. They invited over a ton of people, then forced this child to stand on a coffee table and drop his pants. Then every grown adult in the room proceeded to point at him and laugh. This was their idea of teaching him to keep his pants up. I wasnt there, I heard about it later. I was horrified. Not very evolved at all.
post #10 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Anglyn: You know whats been bothering me for awhile? Girls clothing. No, seriously, Im all for cute slogans like "girl power" thats fine. Its the ones that say "Boys are stupid" "I hate boys" things like that.
WTF? i have never seen clothing like that but I wouldn't be shocked if I came across it. Our culture needs therapy bigtime.

Here's a special little moment I had last weekend:

I'm at my son's school last Saturday because they are having their annual "Craft Bazaar". So I am browsing and come across this "bizarre" craft item. It is at a table with all of these hand-painted signs that have oh-so-cute little sayings on them.

I'm looking at 2 different hand-painted signs about 3 feet apart. The first is written in BLUE and says:

Quote:
Boy: A noise with dirt on it.
Then my eye goes towards the other sign with PINK paint:

Quote:
Girl: A giggle wrapped in sunshine.

I was so irked, and felt that she (the crafter) should be spoken too. So I commented to her that the boy sign was "mean". She laughed nervously and I just scowled at her and walked away.

This is what i am talking about. What's with all these cryptic and blunt negative messages towards boys???!!!

Gee-wiz, if i didn't know any better, I'd think our culture likes it this way.
post #11 of 128
It's definitely not in the past, sadly. I hope I am able to teach my children to be compassionate and emotionally healthy individuals.
post #12 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by aniT View Post
I haven't seen that since my stepfather did that to my brother, in the early 80's. I think most people have evolved somewhat since then.
sadly, no. I am glad it is better where you live but I am in small town texas and people treat their sons like crap here. What I notice a lot of in my waiting room hours at kid activities is mothers who completely ignore their sons and give them no guidance whatsoever, but tacitly encourage them to be obnoxious and violent until someone gets hurt or something gets broken at which point they yank them by the arm, get in their faces and yell, and then smack them. Then they go back to gossiping with the other mothers, usually with a remark about the poor kid being "all boy" and a laugh. I always want to suggest that if they paid attention to their sons or encouraged any kind of good behavior, they would still be all boy but also all happy boy and probably all well behaved boy and stop the stereotype fulfillment cycle, but frankly, after witnessing this kind of exchange, I am usually too disturbed to talk.
I hope it is on the wane but I see no sign of that where I live.
And I do everything I can to keep it away from both of my kids.
It makes me very sad too.
layne
post #13 of 128
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Layne: frankly, after witnessing this kind of exchange, I am usually too disturbed to talk.

Very well put. I am very disturbed to watch perfectly "normal" looking parents treat their boys routinely like crapola.

Maybe I will start to document all of the f***ed things I see people doing with their boys. For those with eyes, feel free to chip in, we should have voumns by the time we are done!
post #14 of 128
As the mother of two boys, I've seen this too. It's the stereotypes our culture has about boys being loud, disruptive, destructive and aggressive that sets up such negative reactions to boys simply existing.

And I hate it when people encourage little girls with the "oh no, here comes a BOY!" attitude - and not even it a cutesy cootie type of way, which is annoying enough, but like oh no, the fun is over now that a horrible male child has entered the room.

ETA: To the other mothers of boys who feel like you have never experienced this attitude, have you never had a negative reaction to people even finding out you have boys? i.e. Someone asks if you have kids, you respond, yes two boys, and you get the "oh lordy!" and "you have your hands full!" and "better you than me!" or my personal favorite "good LUCK with THAT!" in a horribly sarcastic tone. I want to smack people - they are putting down my sons, and they think it's acceptable for them to do so.
post #15 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimpmandee View Post
As the mother of two boys, I've seen this too. It's the stereotypes our culture has about boys being loud, disruptive, destructive and aggressive that sets up such negative reactions to boys simply existing.

And I hate it when people encourage little girls with the "oh no, here comes a BOY!" attitude - and not even it a cutesy cootie type of way, which is annoying enough, but like oh no, the fun is over now that a horrible male child has entered the room.

ETA: To the other mothers of boys who feel like you have never experienced this attitude, have you never had a negative reaction to people even finding out you have boys? i.e. Someone asks if you have kids, you respond, yes two boys, and you get the "oh lordy!" and "you have your hands full!" and "better you than me!" or my personal favorite "good LUCK with THAT!" in a horribly sarcastic tone. I want to smack people - they are putting down my sons, and they think it's acceptable for them to do so.

Oh yes. My own mother. When I was pg. with my third boy, my mother seriously suggested that dd come live with her (my three and half year old dd) to get away from 'all those boys' and when I got offened, she just shook her head and kept saying, "poor kate,poor, poor little katie"
post #16 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by kldliam View Post
For those with eyes, feel free to chip in, we should have voumns by the time we are done!
I hope you aren't suggesting that those of us who don't see this, don't see it because we don't have eyes.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chimpmandee View Post
ETA: To the other mothers of boys who feel like you have never experienced this attitude, have you never had a negative reaction to people even finding out you have boys? i.e. Someone asks if you have kids, you respond, yes two boys, and you get the "oh lordy!" and "you have your hands full!" and "better you than me!" or my personal favorite "good LUCK with THAT!" in a horribly sarcastic tone. I want to smack people - they are putting down my sons, and they think it's acceptable for them to do so.
I get the, "you must have your hands full." but that is because I have four kids, not because the youngest is a boy. So no, I have NEVER had a negative reaction when someone finds out I have a boy. It's usually.. OH.. you finally got a boy!
post #17 of 128
Well, I'll admit that I bought my friend a shirt that said 'Boys Cheat' after her boyfriend cheated on her (as an adult), but I don't think anti-boy slogans are appropriate for kids.

I have a boy and a girl and we often comment that they are so different, and yes, my boy is louder, more active and breaks things more often, but then again, he is also less stubborn and less prone to meltdowns than his sister, and a really really sweet kid.

I don't think I've really noticed people around here treating their boys the way some of you mention. . . that's really sad to think that some little boys get treated so badly.
post #18 of 128
I have both boys and girls and I've never noticed boys being treated as sub-human. What a terrible thing that would be to witness.

Originally Posted by Chimpmandee
you get the "oh lordy!" and "you have your hands full!" and "better you than me!" or my personal favorite "good LUCK with THAT!" in a horribly sarcastic tone.
I haven't gotten that with my boys, but did hear it a lot with my twins.
post #19 of 128
I've noticed it in others, but not with my own son. But that's probably because he has waist length hair and long eyelashes.
post #20 of 128
It's also how easily they can be diagnosed by not-very-good doctors with disorders (meaning a GOOD doctor wouldn't consider being a boy to be a symptom, but BAD ones would), or thought to have attention problems, just b/c they are boys.

I actually don't have a problem with "boy=a noise with dirt on it"...I've seen that on a shirt and thought it was kind of funny but in an ENDEARING awwww I love my boy kind of way.

But when it's right up next to the girl thing that's all sweetness (and, um, as a girl I can tell you I'm NOT a giggle wrapped in sunshine, though my half sister is!) then it looks ugly.

Then again, "little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails" vs "little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice" is an oldie!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Parenting
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › why are so many boys treated as sub-humans?