What's a good breakfast/lunch budget for 1 person?

[BabyA'sMom]

I need to figure out how much money to allot for the new aupair. I'm going to have to include her in the process , because in two weeks, she has run through the cupboards like a plague of locusts. I thought if I took her shopping with me and gave her X number of dollars, she would be more mindful of consumption.

When she got here, I though t I would stock up on staples so I went to Costco and got large quantities. I thought that would buy me a month or more of basics so we could figure out a budget.

I know it sounds petty, but I had no idea how much a 19 year old eats. For instance:

In the two weeks she has been here, all by herself she ate

70 ounces (2- 35 ounce bags) of cereal

2 40 ounce jars of Jif

16 bagels

2 loaves of bread

drinks 1/2 gallon of milk per day

3-6 Diet Cokes per day

24 ounces of a 48 ounce jar of spaghetti sauce (in one sitting)

2 pounds of cheese

16 bagels

2- 8 ounce packages of cream cheese

and finishes leftovers from dinner the night before (argh!)

I had little packages of liverwurst to give the dog her medicines (she knows it's for the dog) and ate that too!

She doesn't really eat fruits or veggies- and does not like to defrost anything but bread ( I have frozen chicken and hamburger patties and have a George Foreman grill so she could make a hearty lunch if she wanted)

I don't want to be judgmental and petty, but it needs to be addressed. I think she comes from a background of deprivation ( Both sides of family escaped from East Germany) so I'm guessing she doesn't know what to do in the face of bulk food. I'm guessing she is gorging.

I buy in bulk because it is cheaper and lasts longer. I can't afford to keep running to the store like this.

Anyone have any menu idea and a sense of how much of a budget I should put her on?

I live in Northern Ca. , so food prices, like everywhere else are really high.


I'd really appreciate your help n this one!

[wife&mommy]

Before giving her a budget or buying her food I guess I would sit down and talk with her and find out why she's overeating (in your opinion) and what she is used to eating, what she'd prefer, etc. Maybe some sort of loose meal plan would help? I do not know about a budget, though.

[jjawm]

Wow, that's a lot of food! I'd guess, though, that she'll slow down as she becomes used to having good food around, and it's no longer new.

I agree with w&m - get her input on a meal plan, and have her loosely plan out what she'll eat for breakfast and lunch, and then take her shopping with you. And if she goes through a ton of food again, you can mention how you need to plan ahead for meals, and if she eats all the cheese, there won't be any for the dinners you planned. She may not realize the concept of buying in bulk.

[Justmee]

I agree she is probably just enjoying food she never was able to before. Wow, a bagle w/ peanut butter for snack instead of an apple? Another bowl of that yummy cereal! I would sit and have a talk with her. Tell her you are getting her a box of cereal or whatever for the month. Could you give her a seperate area of the cubourd she can just feel free to take from? A shelf in the fridge? I would set it out like you are budgeting and meal planning, so you want to take her tastes into consideration. Then sit down and plan. Also a tip from a friend of mine with teenage boys. She puts a red X on anything off limits. Otherwise she would find the sour cream she bought for Tuesdays cream of potato soup would be gone Sunday.

As far as snacks / cokes / etc, I would tell her a limit of 1 per day or whatever is okay with you and leave it at that. Maybe give her a snack budget and go with her to the store so she can buy stuff she wants. Tell her to put it in one area and save it for her? I don't know what the rules are with Au Pairs, but I don't think you need to supply 6 cokes / day I think it would work well with dry goods like cereal / snacky stuff / etc. If she runs out of course you will still feed her, but whatever cheap breakfast you decide (unilimted oatmeal? I don't know what is cheap etc).

[Poddi]

Isn't she worried about her weight if she keeps eating like that? Maybe give her some healthy eating tips, especially focus on portion size. At 19 most of her body's growth are done. Eating too much will rapidly become fat store.

[aihcalappa]

OP, did you get the situation sorted?

[BabyA'sMom]

Yes, thank you for all the great suggestions! I think part of the problem is that she doesn't eat meals- she grazes. So when I originally asked her what she eats for breakfast and lunch, she couldn't tell me specifically. She just shrugged and said whatever. I forced her to pick out a few things when we went shopping together, but she never answered the question of her food preferences.


And yes, she is overweight, in part due to eating unconsciously. I don't think she realizes how much or often she eats.

In the past week though, she has moderated her consumption, even to eating only one serving of food at dinner. She did it totally on her own. We've encouraged, and will encourage her to eat what she needs to feel comfortable and not starved. The past few days, she has slowed down the consumption naturally.

I'm not sure why exactly. Maybe she ate excessively to calm herself and ease the adjustment. Maybe boredom, etc.. Not sure. But we've also discovered she does not know how to deal with unstructured time.

While we're doing Thanksgiving shopping, I'll ask her to do some meal planning before we go shopping. I'll have her write down exactly what she plans to eat for breakfast and lunch for the next two weeks. As suggested, I'll make sure she knows that the bulk items are only purchased 1X per month. If she goes through a huge amount of cereal, then she eats something else until the month is up.

There is still plenty on hand, she just doesn't take the time to make it. Instant oatmeal, cream of wheat, eggs and toast and peanut butter. Lunch she could do tuna, there are a few microwavable ethnic dishes, pasta, brown rice, quinoa, potatoes, grilled burgers or chicken, soup, etc. There's always fresh fruit and baby carrots and frozen/canned veggies.

It's a touchy issue for me, because I feel strongly that her food needs are hers and I shouldn't judge. At the same time, I'm on a limited budget and can't afford to restock the house with pricey convenience foods.

The tips will really come in handy.

Thanks!

[1growingsprout]

In some respects you have a teenager in the house. yes shes the nanny but she is still a teenager with teenager habits. My 13 1/2 yr old can put food away like there is no tomorrow so the PB, bread, soda, cereal etc isnt a shocker.
It sounds like there is an adjustment time going on for everyone involved. Good luck and let us know how it ends up

[Jayray]

Also, if she hasn't been in the states long, she might be really excited about food she doesn't normally eat. I know people from Eastern Europe LOVE JIF and the non-healthy peanut butter from the states.

Although milk and bread and such is pretty normal everywhere...

I have also heard that Germans often have their biggest meal of the day in the middle--so maybe she's not used to eating the big meal at supper?

Don't know...just some other thoughts.

[caiesmommy]

I would be really careful about how you adress the subject, shes young, and has a diet issue, shes in a new country away frm everything and everyone she knows....Id be pigging out too!...dhs cousin was an aupair for about 6 months in sweden and gained 25 lbs, and shes 19 as well..she said that the stress of a new place, no friends, no family and trying to fit into a new family got to her and the only thing that she could depend on was food... i know ive had that feeling once or twice in my life, i think we've all gone forth ice cream once and awhile.

also...maybe she doesnt know how to "cook" her fam might not have taught her the basics...see if she even knows how to prepare anything, also some people dont think that they are eating "alot"when they grab a bagel here, a bowl of cereal there,though it ends up costing twice as much for the person paying the groceries!...she may think that shes not costing you as much by eating what she believes are snacks

[missmich]

Originally Posted by Jayray

I have also heard that Germans often have their biggest meal of the day in the middle--so maybe she's not used to eating the big meal at supper?

This is true about the Germans. They have a very big meal in the middle of the day. When I was an au pair in Germany it took me a while to get used to things there. I went through a period of time where I was super hungry all the time and couldn't get enough food into me and then I just wasn't hungry at all and then finally I went back to "normal" and adjusted to the way things were there.

Where is this au pair from? She may be having issues being away from family,friends and her home country. She may be excited about all the new foods and wants to try them all. She may be homesick and a little down b/c it is the holidays (soon anyway). There could be a lot of reasons why she's eating so much.

I'd sit down and have a chat with her when the kids are in bed or when you're alone with her,just you and her and not your husband. Ask how she's doing in general and then talk about healthy eating habits and how the adults in the house need to show the kids how to eat. You can offer to teach her to meal plan,cook and shop also or ask her to share some recipes from her country or her fave foods. I'd also explain that since the cost of food has gone up so fast you need to budget food more often and that some things will be limited like coke etc... and that if you run out during the week/month then she will have to buy any extra she drinks.

Good luck!

[Sailor]

Yes, generally, in Europe the biggest meal is in the middle of the day.

I still eat like that. I just can't switch to the American style. If I eat that much in the evening, I'm unable to sleep, and feel awful. So, I do the biggest meal in the middle of the day.

Nevertheless, that sounds like A LOT of food in 2 weeks. Now, my partner, can put that away and MUCH more, however he's thin, over 6 feet, and a hardcore cyclist. So, he burns a lot of calories.

For a 19 year old au pair ... it sounds like definite over eating. Especially if she's overweight.

I'm not sure how to address something like that, though. Personally, I'd never be able to tell you what I'm going to eat for breakfast and lunch for 2 weeks. But, then, I don't plan my meals beyond a "general" idea.

She seems to like a lot of bagels and peanut butter! Peanut butter and bagels aren't really that common in Europe - especially Germany. So, that's a new thing for her.

[missmich]

German Peanut butter is nasty!

I just re-read your posting and saw she is from Germany. Most families in Germany have "tea time". This happens around 4pm and you have tea or warm milk for the kids and cookies and cakes or a piece of pie or whatever. The family I was in did not limit the kids to 2-3 cookies each,they could have as many as they wanted. Not sure if that was common for other German families though. Then at about 6-7 pm we'd have dinner of bread and cheese and sometimes cereal or yogurt.

Christmas in Germany for me was FULL of homemade cookies and cakes and specialty chocolate in wonderful flavors! I'd just arrived about 3 weeks before Christmas and missed home a little and started to feel a little down and I gained 20 pounds in 3 months!!! It took awhile to lose it all,but I did.

The family I lived with during that time was very frugal though and though she didn't plan meals she didn't buy in bulk. The fridges there are very small and they shop for most things every few days.