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Comments about our new baby... - Page 2

post #21 of 91
I am really good at dead-pan comments, so when people say stupid things to me about the sex of my children I say things like, "Well, we were really hoping for puppies this time..." A friend of mine asked me "Did you get your girl yet?" : I played dumb. "Huh? What are you talking about?" He said, "Weren't you trying for a girl?" I said, "Well, frankly, we weren't trying at all." (This baby is uh, a surprise.)

Stupid comments get snark, in my world.

I get asked if we know the sex of the baby ALL the time. Except, people say, "Do you know what it is yet?" My standard response is "Well, we're pretty sure it's a baby..."

"Are you hoping for a girl?" "We're hoping for a healthy baby."
post #22 of 91
i have had this before a bunch of times. i have 4 kids, boy, girl, boy, girl. after my first girl i was TOLD to stop by my mum, i was TOLD i should stop by strangers cos i have "one of each" i was happy to have jsut two, but by the time i made that decision i was all ready pregnant with my 3rd. when i found he was a boy i was happy. when i had DD2 i wanted another boy, as soon as i saw her scan and found she was a girl i want for oh i really want a boy, to Woo Hoo its a girl happy happy joy joy, another daughter, a sister for DD1, how wonderfull. i was so happy, when my mum found out her first words were "are you not disapointed" err no, i have my two girls (i was so desperate for a boy because i lost DD1's twin at 11 weeks gestation and i had it in my head that if DD1 couldnt have her twin she should be the only girl. i sharp changed that thought)

we are going to be TTC again after chirstmas, whats the betting i will get comments alonghte lines of

"are you crazy" my answer "yes, crazy about my kids, so crazy about them i just had to have more" or if i am especially annoyed "i think the proper response jsut now should of been "Congratulations""
"dont you have a TV" My Answer "well yes i have 3, and a pc, playstation, Wii, game boy, and i crochet, spin, and i enjoy reading too, why?"
"your fond of a treat" My Answer " well i do like chocolate"
"do you want a boy or a girl" My Answer " well as i have 2 of each i want a what ever comes out"
"what does your husband think" My answer "i dunno ask him"

it crazy that people think they actualy have the right to comment on other people families. a simple "oh thats lovely" or "oh how sweet" is enough.

Kiz
post #23 of 91
I don't think it implies that someone thinks that a boy is better than a girl. I think when people make this comment they are making it because it seems like (to them) that you were in fact trying for a boy since you had all girls and finally had a boy. They probably figure you were happy to have a boy this time around since you've only experienced girls thus far.

I've known pregnant women who have said themselves that they were trying for the opposite sex after having three girls in a row or two boys in a row. They will openly admit they want the opposite sex and be crushed if they don't have it. And, I will admit when I see someone with all boys or all girls and they have like 4 or 5 of the same sex child - I usually figure they're wanting the other sex. I'm sorry I think that but I've met other people who think the same thing. I don't mean anything by it.

As far as the comment the guy made - I think most people just don't think before speaking. It was rude for the guy to say that to you. I might think one thing in my mind but I'd never make a comment to someone to their face. That would be incredibly rude.
post #24 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
I have two girls and everyone asks (or did when i was still married)

"Are you going to keep trying?" For what? A horse??? Or better, "Awww, did your husband want a boy?"




Guess my *women children* are just filler for the real thing!


Seriously.
Maybe because I'm tired... but when I read that, my mental image was a woman getting a scan/having the baby, the MW/OB/DP saying "It's a (insert gender here)!" And the mama saying "What?! Not a horse? Have to keep trying."

Quote:
Originally Posted by pantufla View Post
I am really good at dead-pan comments, so when people say stupid things to me about the sex of my children I say things like, "Well, we were really hoping for puppies this time..." A friend of mine asked me "Did you get your girl yet?" : I played dumb. "Huh? What are you talking about?" He said, "Weren't you trying for a girl?" I said, "Well, frankly, we weren't trying at all." (This baby is uh, a surprise.)

Stupid comments get snark, in my world.

I get asked if we know the sex of the baby ALL the time. Except, people say, "Do you know what it is yet?" My standard response is "Well, we're pretty sure it's a baby..."

"Are you hoping for a girl?" "We're hoping for a healthy baby."
post #25 of 91
I had a boy first, and when I was pregnant with my second there were MANY people around us (including in our families) who made no effort to hide the fact they wanted a girl this time. Too bad. I had another son and I was delighted. Just wanted to point out that it works both ways. *shrug*

ETA: Congrats on your new baby, OP! I don't think you're being too sensitive, I think ppl making those comments are being too INsensitive...I think it's normal as a mama to be protective of your children when comments like that are said around them...You never want them to feel the pain of thinking that perhaps they were loved or wanted less bc of their gender.
post #26 of 91
I think that most people say what it is that THEY would want. So its not about one of each, some people want boys, others girls, others one of each and some really don't care. For me if i saw a person with 3+ boys, i would for sure be THINKING that i would never want that, and truthfully be too scared of getting another boy to even try again (ha that might shut em' up as long as the kids arn't in ear shot) The difference is that i would NEVER comment on somone else kid situation. Other people don't seem to have that frontal lobe control as much.

-L
post #27 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Learning_Mum View Post
How about something along the lines of 'No? Why would it make any difference that he's a boy?' as in 'duh, what a stupid thing to say, I'm so confused!'
:

Where I live it seems to be common that everyone wants a 'pidgeon pair' ie. a boy & a girl. : I didn't want to know the sex of my baby when I was pregnant, so why should it be anyone's business after the birth. I did try to be diplomatic about it, though....
post #28 of 91
After ds was born, we got a lot of the "oh, you have your boy and your girl," implying that we must be done. I said, "No, actually, we have our boy room and our girl room. Now we'll just keep piling them in."

If I had 2 of one and was getting comments about trying for the other, I think I'd say something like, "Oh, no, ALL my children are special!"
post #29 of 91
I have three boys and then a girl.. I get those comments all the time, too.

We ( the boys and I) usually giggle as bit, but none of us really care. Sometimes I'll look at the boys and say something like " yeah... these boys are AWFUL... I wish I could trade them in"... while looking at the boys.. then we all sort of snicker..
post #30 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by griffin2004 View Post
the honest truth is that many people DO think it's better to have boys than girls
why??? what is the history behind that? i've seen so much of it, especially from older generations. i don't get the "carrying on the name" thing or any of that. and if DH's mother insists BOTH my boys look EXACTLY like her boys one.more.time....
post #31 of 91
when I was pg with ds1 a male mw said, 'you know what uo're having?' I said, "human I hope!" He actually laughed, and said no more about it.
post #32 of 91
Well, i know for us, we would like to have at least one of each, which would mean that as long as we can afford more children, we will keep having more until that happens. we have a boy now, and we love him and would love another boy, but we would also love to have a little girl. sometimes these comments, although they are annoying, may be coming from that point of view and not a "boys are better than girls" pov.
post #33 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by BugMacGee View Post
I have two girls and everyone asks (or did when i was still married)

"Are you going to keep trying?" For what? A horse??? Or better, "Awww, did your husband want a boy?"




Guess my *women children* are just filler for the real thing!


Seriously.
Oh man, that cracks me up. I have two girls, 16 months apart and I STILL get comments about it. I had this one lady ask me I was going to "keep going" (like I am the damn energizer battery bunny) and I said no our family is complete. She kept insisting and I finally said "Lady, I had an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of the second girl so NO we are not having any more. Would you like my complete medical history or is this enough for you?" : Yep, idiots are out there lurking around every corner.
post #34 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmy2girls View Post
So, I'm hoping someone has btdt and is going to "get" what I'm saying here. I just had my 3rd child, a beautiful baby boy. My first two children are girls. I CANNOT STAND when people see us out & about and make comments like the one my DH & I received today, "Oh, finally a boy. Now that you got your man-child, you can be done, huh?"
How rude! I can honestly say nobody has ever said anything like that to me. :
post #35 of 91
We have a boy and a girl and I am constantly getting the "Oh, a perfect family" comments, like 2 boys or 2 girls would have been devastating to us. Some people.

Maybe next time someone calls them a 'perfect set', I'll say "Oh yes, they look so nice hung up on my wall."
post #36 of 91
When I was preggo with ds2 and still working I took my sono into work yo show (we had an uncooperative babe and didn't know we were having a boy until birth.) the joke at work was that I was having a dinosaur. One of my co-workers asked me what I was hoping for. I said "I'm hoping for a baby." I just would tell people that all I really wanted was a healthy baby, boy or girl. Now that I have 2 boys I guess I should be waiting for such comments about wanting a girl. We don't know if we're done yet (ds2 is only 8 weeks old) and I would like a girl, but I wouldn't be dissapointed if I were to have another boy.
post #37 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Maybe next time someone calls them a 'perfect set', I'll say "Oh yes, they look so nice hung up on my wall."
post #38 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Meg_s View Post
I'm just commiserating. I'll admit I really really REALLY wanted a girl, and I got 2 boys. Believe me, I'm not complaining about my boys I love them to death and I am probably finished having kids... I'm so in love with my sons. But so many people are ecstatic that I have boys, oh god I wouldn't want a girl they're so horrible, their attitudes! boys are so much easier and on and on and on.. it makes me so angry for the girl I never had. And for the girls out there who are just like someone said fillers until these people get their boys. It just gets my back up.
People said that to me--Oh you must be so happy you had a boy, boys are great. Girls are too much.
How odd to listen to a woman saying that the female gender is "too much".
What does that even mean? ugh!
post #39 of 91
Quote:
the honest truth is that many people DO think it's better to have boys than girls
I think just as many people think girls are better. I have noticed that almost everyone I know who's gotten pregnant within the last 3-4 years has openly wished for a girl. I don't understand any of it. I would have been thrilled with either, and still would be.
post #40 of 91
meh. We have all girls in our family, we get the "you dad must be ..... from having all girls" Its just small talk. I think you may have taken the "man-child" comment further then it was intended. (IDK how it was said tho.) I know I call people's children strange things in jest. Jellybean, he-beast, Micro(Your first name).
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